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Depression thread continued...

Shady Lane said:
I feel for you mate. Particularly in regards to the lack of support. This place is the only place I can vent, because nobody else in my life gives a toss.
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Thanks mate. This is how I feel too. Feels like no escape at the moment, getting it all angles from work and being seen as a pain that I am pushing back on 3 nights in Germany followed by 3 nights in Aberdeen the following week with a 3 month old that doesn't sleep, and two toddlers my wife has to manage on zero sleep if I'm away. Get home after work and the wife is knackered, kids playing up so a 2 hour stressful fight into bed followed by a night of minimal sleep then rinse and repeat the next day. I know it gets easier but I'm racked with guilt that I am just trying to survive each day and not fully taking in my two toddlers growing up either as they are amazing and keep me going.

I would love my parents to take them out for the day but there's just no offer and a half arsed how are they text instead that I struggle to respond to. If I turned up at the house with them they'd be fine but I find myself pulling away from doing that out of stubborness. They live 2 minutes away and have seen the 3 month old 6 times in 12 weeks - maybe I'm being over sensitive but when we're up against it it is just minimal effort in my eyes. It's a similar story with my best mate who has kids of a similar age but there's never any effort to take into account our struggles - their parents do everything for them and life is infinitely easier for them so we're made out to be the bad guys if we can't get all 3 somewhere on a Saturday morning and I find myself pulling away from him to avoid this. I'm still not sure if it's me and my deterorating mental health taking these things overly to heart or not but I feel justified in being annoyed. Maybe I'm a tad envious I'm not sure but I don't think it is that. I'm quite a caring person that puts my friends and family first in a lot of situations so I think it just hurts me even more when it is not returned.

Sorry for venting, currently sat in the car park with a coffee for 5 mins of peace before heading back to work. Good to get it off my chest as don't like to burden the wife
 

EiffelTower said:
Really struggling at the moment. Have a 12 week old and 2 toddlers with minimal family support. Work not letting up and they want me to visit numerous sites home and abroad in December when I barely get any sleep and the wife is struggling to cope without me. I have pushed back and had no sympathy at all. Been really hurt by the lack of family support and network around me. Feel like I'm overly sensitive to every little knock at the moment which is a sign of depression in itself probably, but I am drifting away from people where I am annoyed at the lack of support. Can't work out if I am justified in pulling away or being overly sensitive as it's happening with a few different people. Financial stress on top is hitting us hard at the moment. Luckily haven't turned to gambling as a solution to that which I have done in the past. All feels a bit much atm and I'm sinking.

Sorry I don't post much but always reading and just want to vent somewhere. Hope everyone else is ok.
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Good luck to you. See if you can block or limit any gambling accounts, make it as difficult as possible to do.

Hang in there bud
 
EiffelTower said:
Thanks mate. This is how I feel too. Feels like no escape at the moment, getting it all angles from work and being seen as a pain that I am pushing back on 3 nights in Germany followed by 3 nights in Aberdeen the following week with a 3 month old that doesn't sleep, and two toddlers my wife has to manage on zero sleep if I'm away. Get home after work and the wife is knackered, kids playing up so a 2 hour stressful fight into bed followed by a night of minimal sleep then rinse and repeat the next day. I know it gets easier but I'm racked with guilt that I am just trying to survive each day and not fully taking in my two toddlers growing up either as they are amazing and keep me going.

I would love my parents to take them out for the day but there's just no offer and a half arsed how are they text instead that I struggle to respond to. If I turned up at the house with them they'd be fine but I find myself pulling away from doing that out of stubborness. They live 2 minutes away and have seen the 3 month old 6 times in 12 weeks - maybe I'm being over sensitive but when we're up against it it is just minimal effort in my eyes. It's a similar story with my best mate who has kids of a similar age but there's never any effort to take into account our struggles - their parents do everything for them and life is infinitely easier for them so we're made out to be the bad guys if we can't get all 3 somewhere on a Saturday morning and I find myself pulling away from him to avoid this. I'm still not sure if it's me and my deterorating mental health taking these things overly to heart or not but I feel justified in being annoyed. Maybe I'm a tad envious I'm not sure but I don't think it is that. I'm quite a caring person that puts my friends and family first in a lot of situations so I think it just hurts me even more when it is not returned.

Sorry for venting, currently sat in the car park with a coffee for 5 mins of peace before heading back to work. Good to get it off my chest as don't like to burden the wife
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Sometimes you being the one who is always there is sort of taken for granted and expected, so much so that people might not see that you are the one who needs people to be there for you for a change. Speak out, tell them maybe. Try not make it sound resentful (like I can't help but do). If people are still not reaching out then I suppose you know where you stand and you need to take a step back from them.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Hope things get better.
 
EiffelTower said:
Thanks mate. This is how I feel too. Feels like no escape at the moment, getting it all angles from work and being seen as a pain that I am pushing back on 3 nights in Germany followed by 3 nights in Aberdeen the following week with a 3 month old that doesn't sleep, and two toddlers my wife has to manage on zero sleep if I'm away. Get home after work and the wife is knackered, kids playing up so a 2 hour stressful fight into bed followed by a night of minimal sleep then rinse and repeat the next day. I know it gets easier but I'm racked with guilt that I am just trying to survive each day and not fully taking in my two toddlers growing up either as they are amazing and keep me going.

I would love my parents to take them out for the day but there's just no offer and a half arsed how are they text instead that I struggle to respond to. If I turned up at the house with them they'd be fine but I find myself pulling away from doing that out of stubborness. They live 2 minutes away and have seen the 3 month old 6 times in 12 weeks - maybe I'm being over sensitive but when we're up against it it is just minimal effort in my eyes. It's a similar story with my best mate who has kids of a similar age but there's never any effort to take into account our struggles - their parents do everything for them and life is infinitely easier for them so we're made out to be the bad guys if we can't get all 3 somewhere on a Saturday morning and I find myself pulling away from him to avoid this. I'm still not sure if it's me and my deterorating mental health taking these things overly to heart or not but I feel justified in being annoyed. Maybe I'm a tad envious I'm not sure but I don't think it is that. I'm quite a caring person that puts my friends and family first in a lot of situations so I think it just hurts me even more when it is not returned.

Sorry for venting, currently sat in the car park with a coffee for 5 mins of peace before heading back to work. Good to get it off my chest as don't like to burden the wife
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The first thing that strikes me is you have so much going on in your mind that you can’t see the wood for the trees. If you get the chance sit down with a pen and paper and list what you see your issues are. Then put them in a level of importance and how it affects you. Once you’ve done that you can start looking at solutions. But you should speak to your wife, explain what you are doing and put a joint plan together. If the big thing is the clash between work and seeing your children then see if you can change your job it might mean less money but if it’s a plan with your wife and she sees the benefits.
 
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EiffelTower said:
Thanks guys really appreciate your comments and advice. Need to speak to the wife that's for sure. I'm sure it will all get better. Will be sure to check in as this is an incredible thread/community. I don't post often but you're all great.
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That spell when all the kids are little looks horrendous, hang in there mate, it’ll improve with time.
 
EiffelTower said:
Thanks guys really appreciate your comments and advice. Need to speak to the wife that's for sure. I'm sure it will all get better. Will be sure to check in as this is an incredible thread/community. I don't post often but you're all great.
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Always write your problems down it makes them clearer and what matters. This place can be nuts at times but there’s a lot of good people here who help where they can.
 
EiffelTower said:
Thanks mate. This is how I feel too. Feels like no escape at the moment, getting it all angles from work and being seen as a pain that I am pushing back on 3 nights in Germany followed by 3 nights in Aberdeen the following week with a 3 month old that doesn't sleep, and two toddlers my wife has to manage on zero sleep if I'm away. Get home after work and the wife is knackered, kids playing up so a 2 hour stressful fight into bed followed by a night of minimal sleep then rinse and repeat the next day. I know it gets easier but I'm racked with guilt that I am just trying to survive each day and not fully taking in my two toddlers growing up either as they are amazing and keep me going.

I would love my parents to take them out for the day but there's just no offer and a half arsed how are they text instead that I struggle to respond to. If I turned up at the house with them they'd be fine but I find myself pulling away from doing that out of stubborness. They live 2 minutes away and have seen the 3 month old 6 times in 12 weeks - maybe I'm being over sensitive but when we're up against it it is just minimal effort in my eyes. It's a similar story with my best mate who has kids of a similar age but there's never any effort to take into account our struggles - their parents do everything for them and life is infinitely easier for them so we're made out to be the bad guys if we can't get all 3 somewhere on a Saturday morning and I find myself pulling away from him to avoid this. I'm still not sure if it's me and my deterorating mental health taking these things overly to heart or not but I feel justified in being annoyed. Maybe I'm a tad envious I'm not sure but I don't think it is that. I'm quite a caring person that puts my friends and family first in a lot of situations so I think it just hurts me even more when it is not returned.

Sorry for venting, currently sat in the car park with a coffee for 5 mins of peace before heading back to work. Good to get it off my chest as don't like to burden the wife
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Mate vent whenever you want and when your down everything magnifies but please talk to the wife as she is probably feeling the same ❤️ .
I can guarantee by what you have even posted your a strong couple and if venting on here helps you do it.
I get loads of nice words from people on this thread and others that my wife joined too 🙂.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Still not moved in. The landlord still has bits to do.

Welcome back.
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Cheers mate. If it wasn’t for you I would t be back on. Thanks for the help. And thankyou for msging me outside of here to see how I am. Means a lot mate.
lucky said:
Yeah your back ❤️
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How are we doing Lucky. Hope your well. X
CPLforever said:
Welcome back. You and your supportive comments were sorely missed.
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Aww thankyou. CPL. Hope your well. And im
Back for good now as I’ve sorted my email out. X
 
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EiffelTower said:
Thanks mate. This is how I feel too. Feels like no escape at the moment, getting it all angles from work and being seen as a pain that I am pushing back on 3 nights in Germany followed by 3 nights in Aberdeen the following week with a 3 month old that doesn't sleep, and two toddlers my wife has to manage on zero sleep if I'm away. Get home after work and the wife is knackered, kids playing up so a 2 hour stressful fight into bed followed by a night of minimal sleep then rinse and repeat the next day. I know it gets easier but I'm racked with guilt that I am just trying to survive each day and not fully taking in my two toddlers growing up either as they are amazing and keep me going.

I would love my parents to take them out for the day but there's just no offer and a half arsed how are they text instead that I struggle to respond to. If I turned up at the house with them they'd be fine but I find myself pulling away from doing that out of stubborness. They live 2 minutes away and have seen the 3 month old 6 times in 12 weeks - maybe I'm being over sensitive but when we're up against it it is just minimal effort in my eyes. It's a similar story with my best mate who has kids of a similar age but there's never any effort to take into account our struggles - their parents do everything for them and life is infinitely easier for them so we're made out to be the bad guys if we can't get all 3 somewhere on a Saturday morning and I find myself pulling away from him to avoid this. I'm still not sure if it's me and my deterorating mental health taking these things overly to heart or not but I feel justified in being annoyed. Maybe I'm a tad envious I'm not sure but I don't think it is that. I'm quite a caring person that puts my friends and family first in a lot of situations so I think it just hurts me even more when it is not returned.

Sorry for venting, currently sat in the car park with a coffee for 5 mins of peace before heading back to work. Good to get it off my chest as don't like to burden the wife
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Feel free to DM me if you need to talk, I'd rather people vent at me than the people close to them.
 
Good evening ya sexy bastards.

How are we all doing? The dragon has had me doing housework today.
Sitting having a beer now and ordered an Indian for me and the bairn.
Hope we are all ok and still buzzing after yesterday’s cracking win.
Always here for a chat if anyone needs one.
Love always Rhubarb. Xx
 
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