• The forums will be unavailable for a few hours on Saturday 6th June, when they do return they will initially be in a degraded state with some features missing, but normal posting/reading will be possible. The main website will not be affected by these updates.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.
    Some other features of the forum are also currently disabled.

Depression thread continued...

CPLforever said:
Just to say it find talk therapy very hard, especially at first. Would come out of the first few sessions drained and vowing never to go back. But persevere, it really helps you identify stuff, triggers, and there can be some real aaahaaaa moments.

Good luck.
Click to expand...
The first time you have the moment of "oh, this thing I joke about is actually linked to some really severe trauma I was burying" is certainly a bit of a wake up call!
 

Gennaro Savastano said:
Feel like I need to go into full on hermit mode for a while because of my self sabotage behaviour.
Click to expand...
Do you want to elaborate? Maybe it is not as bad as you think. Maybe it is, to be honest but we can try and offer support, advice, strategies you can use to put things right or avoid in the future. Even the odd, oh my God I do that can be helpful

We can offer all that anyway without you having to elaborate so, of course you don't have too. But whatever has happened, someone on here will have bloody well done it too and has felt the way you are feeling now (probably me for one)
 
CPLforever said:
Do you want to elaborate? Maybe it is not as bad as you think. Maybe it is, to be honest but we can try and offer support, advice, strategies you can use to put things right or avoid in the future. Even the odd, oh my God I do that can be helpful

We can offer all that anyway without you having to elaborate so, of course you don't have too. But whatever has happened, someone on here will have bloody well done it too and has felt the way you are feeling now (probably me for one)
Click to expand...
Two weekends in a row now I've went out for a few beers and got completely blackout drunk to the point I can't remember where I've been or how I've got home. Checking my bank balance the next day and I have spent a fortune in places I can't even remember being in. It's happened a couple of other times since I moved out of the family home. But the last two weeks has been another level as I have stayed out on my own after my friends have gone home. So not knowing when to stop when going for a beer has became a huge problem which I can't afford financially or continue to do for my health and safety. There's also a point in the night where my mood changes and I know that I've gone from enjoying myself to drinking because I'm sad and angry.
 
Last edited:
Gennaro Savastano said:
Two weekends in a row now I've went out for a few beers and got completely blackout drunk to the point I can't remember where I've been or how I've got home. Checking my bank balance the next day and I have spent a fortune in places I can't even remember being in. It's happened a couple of other times since I moved out of the family home. But the last two weeks has been another level as I have stayed out on my own after my friends have gone home. So not knowing when to stop when going for a beer has became a huge problem which I can't afford financially or continue to do for my health and safety. There's also a point in the night where my mood changes and I know that I've gone from enjoying myself to drinking because I'm sad and angry.
Click to expand...
How would you feel not drinking on a weekend mate ?
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Two weekends in a row now I've went out for a few beers and got completely blackout drunk to the point I can't remember where I've been or how I've got home. Checking my bank balance the next day and I have spent a fortune in places I can't even remember being in. It's happened a couple of other times since I moved out of the family home. But the last two weeks has been another level as I have stayed out on my own after my friends have gone home. So not knowing when to stop when going for a beer has became a huge problem which I can't afford financially or continue to do for my health and safety. There's also a point in the night where my mood changes and I know that I've gone from enjoying myself to drinking because I'm sad and angry.
Click to expand...
Hmmmmm yes, been there done that and still do it to be honest. Find it very hard to control sometimes too.

I see it as a sign, an indicator that I am spiralling and can't control myself. So if early enough I can take steps to try and walk back...

Do you have a trusted friend, someone who you can say.. if you see me getting too drunk, too bolshy make me go home. And certainly never leave me on my own, when you all go home let me share your taxi and see me in the house?

I have been literally dragged out of a pub by my trusted friend before.
 
CPLforever said:
Hmmmmm yes, been there done that and still do it to be honest. Find it very hard to control sometimes too.

I see it as a sign, an indicator that I am spiralling and can't control myself. So if early enough I can take steps to try and walk back...

Do you have a trusted friend, someone who you can say.. if you see me getting too drunk, too bolshy make me go home. And certainly never leave me on my own, when you all go home let me share your taxi and see me in the house?

I have been literally dragged out of a pub by my trusted friend before.
Click to expand...
Well the first week I got separated from my friend somehow and woke up to missed calls and messages asking if I was ok, last week the last thing I remember was my friend saying he had enough so was leaving and I said I was going to go get some takeaway food then go home. We live in opposite directions so wouldn't share a taxi so he will have thought nothing of it. I went to 3 different places after that which I only know because of online banking and bought atleast 10 drinks.

I think the only way to break the pattern is to stop drinking completely for the foreseeable future. I'd already planned to try and stop for the whole of December as I think it will be an awful month with all the Christmas build up and me not being with the kids for it all for the first time.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Well the first week I got separated from my friend somehow and woke up to missed calls and messages asking if I was ok, last week the last thing I remember was my friend saying he had enough so was leaving and I said I was going to go get some takeaway food then go home. We live in opposite directions so wouldn't share a taxi so he will have thought nothing of it. I went to 3 different places after that which I only know because of online banking and bought atleast 10 drinks.

I think the only way to break the pattern is to stop drinking completely for the foreseeable future. I'd already planned to try and stop for the whole of December as I think it will be an awful month with all the Christmas build up and me not being with the kids for it all for the first time.
Click to expand...
It's hard mate having a target of like you said not drinking the whole of December because if your anything like me and I don't stick to it I feel like a failure :( .
 
lucky said:
How would you feel not drinking on a weekend mate ?
Click to expand...
Not going to lie it would be hard. Especially at the moment as I have far too much spare time at the moment and since I'm lonely the makes the pub appeal. Even though I am often sitting by myself it's nice to be around people. Even tonight I would be tempted to go out and watch the footy because I'm just sitting by myself in my room doing my own head in.
lucky said:
It's hard mate having a target of like you said not drinking the whole of December because if your anything like me and I don't stick to it I feel like a failure :( .
Click to expand...
I probably will fail but I need to try something. I'm dreading being off work over Christmas and I've already decided I'm not going to celebrate it at all this year because without being with the kids it's pointless.
 
Last edited:
Hendon Mad Frog said:
I know you already know this marra but you need to knock the drink on the heed sharpish before it spirals.

I’ve used it the way you have and I massively regret it as I did it longer term and caused some lasting damage.
Click to expand...
@Gennaro Savastano exactly as above 👆 I also spiralled massively and very quickly but the good thing is you know it's gonna be hard now but honestly the longer you leave doing it the harder it's gonna be.
It must be really hard for yourself with everything that's going on but imagine the kids seeing you pissed up over Christmas it just gives the ex ammunition and your a better person than that ❤️.
 
Hendon Mad Frog said:
I know you already know this marra but you need to knock the drink on the heed sharpish before it spirals.

I’ve used it the way you have and I massively regret it as I did it longer term and caused some lasting damage.
Click to expand...
lucky said:
@Gennaro Savastano exactly as above 👆 I also spiralled massively and very quickly but the good thing is you know it's gonna be hard now but honestly the longer you leave doing it the harder it's gonna be.
It must be really hard for yourself with everything that's going on but imagine the kids seeing you pissed up over Christmas it just gives the ex ammunition and your a better person than that ❤️.
Click to expand...

I have downloaded an app called NHS Drink Free days and been honest on there about my recent drinking habits. Hopefully it will help shame me into atleast drastically cutting down.
 
SPUFF said:
I dont know you mate but feel your pain n think doing that may not be a good thing.

Im lucky ive got drink mates/no drink mates.

Keep your chin up.
Click to expand...

I only have a small group of mates and our social life tends to involve the pub. I need to start normalising going to the local and having a pop or another alcohol free option. What I 100% need to stop doing is going to the pub on my own and my new habit of staying out when my mates go home.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
I only have a small group of mates and our social life tends to involve the pub. I need to start normalising going to the local and having a pop or another alcohol free option. What I 100% need to stop doing is going to the pub on my own and my new habit of staying out when my mates go home.
Click to expand...
Ive mates where we have winter bikerides, in pissing rain in dark etc. i like a drink but theres other stuff to do. Welcome to do something like that if you fancy!
 
MackemMagic said:
You thought about going along to an Andy’s Man Club meeting mate?
Click to expand...
Thought about it alot mate but I am painfully shy (probably my autism to be fair) so I've never managed to get myself through the door.
SPUFF said:
Ive mates where we have winter bikerides, in pissing rain in dark etc. i like a drink but theres other stuff to do. Welcome to do something like that if you fancy!
Click to expand...
I've been talking about getting a bike for about 5 years now and still don't have one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top