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Depression thread continued...

chrismisterx said:
It gets easier mate, it really does.

My ex used my kids as weapons, was a dark time, then I met my current wife ( 27 years ago this month ) and she decided I wasn't allowed to see my kids anymore, she didn't want me but it seems no one else could have me.

I remember the nights of sleeping at my mams when we first split up, lonely, filled with anger and just thinking how everyone else seemed happy and I was the odd one out, I was a young lad and didn't know any better, so hit the drink big time.

I still dont see my kids even as adults, my daughter I dont see has just had her own kid and is getting married, her step dad who has been a father to her all these years ( off and on as my ex is a nutter ) will be giving her away and such and thats fine, I have my new family now and it would just open up old wounds if I tried to roll back the clock.

what I am trying to say is dont give up, yes its bloody hard, but your not alone in going through this, its more normal than you think, but you never know what's round the corner.

I lost everything, even tried to end it, I was sleeping on my mams floor, a pisshead, then in the space of 6 months I went from that to a little bedsit, a new job, then a new girl friend, and after 27 years we are still together, as quickly as things can go bad things can get better.

If I could tell my old self some advice it would be to use the "lonely time" to better myself back then, I should have found something just for me to do, because we are important too, we arent defined by our kids, I love them to bits but there is more to life, I wish I had learnt that lesion sooner, would have saved a lot pain, I still miss them somewhat and I do have some regrets, but sometimes we have to to do the hard things if its the right thing to do and in my case it was the right thing to walk away from the nasty fighting that me and my ex did and to stop them being used as a weapon.


Look to the positives mate, its plain to see you love your kids so much, making sure your alright is important not just for you but for your kids too mate, a happy dad is very important for them, I promise you things will fall into place, just takes a little time, so dont give up on it.
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Brilliant post ❤️
 

Gennaro Savastano said:
So after the amazing high of yesterday, few beers, the match which was outstanding and then a curry with my best mates it was back to reality today. Had the kids for the afternoon had a lovely time with them but then they left and I have been spiralling ever since. The realisation that any good moments are going to be short lived and 90% of the time I am going to feel like I do now is awful. I am truly broken.
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Sounds like you need to have a plan for when the kids go, exercise, see friends?
 
D.A said:
Sounds like you need to have a plan for when the kids go, exercise, see friends?
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Yeah I need to do something.
chrismisterx said:
It gets easier mate, it really does.

My ex used my kids as weapons, was a dark time, then I met my current wife ( 27 years ago this month ) and she decided I wasn't allowed to see my kids anymore, she didn't want me but it seems no one else could have me.

I remember the nights of sleeping at my mams when we first split up, lonely, filled with anger and just thinking how everyone else seemed happy and I was the odd one out, I was a young lad and didn't know any better, so hit the drink big time.

I still dont see my kids even as adults, my daughter I dont see has just had her own kid and is getting married, her step dad who has been a father to her all these years ( off and on as my ex is a nutter ) will be giving her away and such and thats fine, I have my new family now and it would just open up old wounds if I tried to roll back the clock.

what I am trying to say is dont give up, yes its bloody hard, but your not alone in going through this, its more normal than you think, but you never know what's round the corner.

I lost everything, even tried to end it, I was sleeping on my mams floor, a pisshead, then in the space of 6 months I went from that to a little bedsit, a new job, then a new girl friend, and after 27 years we are still together, as quickly as things can go bad things can get better.

If I could tell my old self some advice it would be to use the "lonely time" to better myself back then, I should have found something just for me to do, because we are important too, we arent defined by our kids, I love them to bits but there is more to life, I wish I had learnt that lesion sooner, would have saved a lot pain, I still miss them somewhat and I do have some regrets, but sometimes we have to to do the hard things if its the right thing to do and in my case it was the right thing to walk away from the nasty fighting that me and my ex did and to stop them being used as a weapon.


Look to the positives mate, its plain to see you love your kids so much, making sure your alright is important not just for you but for your kids too mate, a happy dad is very important for them, I promise you things will fall into place, just takes a little time, so dont give up on it.
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Cheers mate. I'm trying.
 
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Evening folks. How are we all doing today?

Bit dodgy me like. Had a load of family shit lately and I just can’t cope with it.

Does my head in cos I just can’t cope like a normal person does with things. Wish I could just blow me fat head off sometimes. Keep on keeping people. Love Rhubarb. Xx
 
lucky said:
You have got to be one of the nicest posters on here mate ❤️.
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That’s such a nice thing to say mate. Thankyou for that. Hope you are well.
Rhubarb said:
That’s such a nice thing to say mate. Thankyou for that. Hope you are well.
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lucky said:
Am so sorry mate , is there anything I can help with ?
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And what you have just said about me. I’ve noticed how much you always ask about people and how they are. So you’re a belter too man.

It’s hard for people to talk but as long as people have this chat I’m sure it helps people. It certainly only has helped me in the past. Hope your well.
 
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Northumberland said:
Hope everyone who's down is OK tonight
There are more good people than bad . Thank fook
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Hi mate. Hope you are well! Going through a funny stage mesel with it all. But keep on keeping on. 17 year I’ve struggled with this fucker. It will beat me one day I reckon but not just yet.
 
Rhubarb said:
Hi mate. Hope you are well! Going through a funny stage mesel with it all. But keep on keeping on. 17 year I’ve struggled with this fucker. It will beat me one day I reckon but not just yet.
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I'm very well mate. Just stumbled across this thread
I had shit for years either my wife . Good riddance. Kids not being there etc.
But now . Na.
No.problems . Lifes to short to let OTHERS spoil it.

Been away from depression long time. Not gonna happen again . Had it ...goodbye to it.

Don't let it beat you . I know... tomorrow is another day blah de blah.
But it is.. Look after yourself before others. That's key. Then rest follows

Best wishes
 
Northumberland said:
I'm very well mate. Just stumbled across this thread
I had shit for years either my wife . Good riddance. Kids not being there etc.
But now . Na.
No.problems . Lifes to short to let OTHERS spoil it.

Been away from depression long time. Not gonna happen again . Had it ...goodbye to it.

Don't let it beat you . I know... tomorrow is another day blah de blah.
But it is.. Look after yourself before others. That's key. Then rest follows

Best wishes
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Good for you mate. Sounds like you have been through the mill and more importantly your doing well in yourself now.

Wish I could get rid of it. I know I’m going to suffer this for the rest of my life. I’ll just deal with it the best I can.

Few year ago at counselling I think I found out one of the first times I felt like this. It was Xmas Eve I had my son who was about two at time done the park. All of us excited for Xmas. All presents in house cars jobs. Nothing to worry about should have been happiest time of my life but I just sat at the park with bairn and felt empty.

I mean I had all I wanted in life so how the fuck should I feel like that man. Should have been happiest moments of my life. It had spoilt every major event in my life. Hated my wedding day I stress about going on holiday. It’s f***ing shit man. I have learnt do deal with it on a certain level like anxiety wise and that. Brave face on cos my boy has autism as well so I try and be brave for him. Fu k sake man I’m six foot odd and 20 stone 42 year old and still worry about shit.

Sorry for the long post but nobody can undrdtand u less they have went through it themselves. The wife had post natal depression and honestly it sounds shit but I didn’t understand how poorly she was.

We need to keep on making a thing of this mental health and keep on being there for people even if we don’t know them. Cos it does make a difference. I’m here for anyone to talk to.

Sorry for long post but let’s keep on keeping on. X
 
Rhubarb said:
Good for you mate. Sounds like you have been through the mill and more importantly your doing well in yourself now.

Wish I could get rid of it. I know I’m going to suffer this for the rest of my life. I’ll just deal with it the best I can.

Few year ago at counselling I think I found out one of the first times I felt like this. It was Xmas Eve I had my son who was about two at time done the park. All of us excited for Xmas. All presents in house cars jobs. Nothing to worry about should have been happiest time of my life but I just sat at the park with bairn and felt empty.

I mean I had all I wanted in life so how the fuck should I feel like that man. Should have been happiest moments of my life. It had spoilt every major event in my life. Hated my wedding day I stress about going on holiday. It’s f***ing shit man. I have learnt do deal with it on a certain level like anxiety wise and that. Brave face on cos my boy has autism as well so I try and be brave for him. Fu k sake man I’m six foot odd and 20 stone 42 year old and still worry about shit.

Sorry for the long post but nobody can undrdtand u less they have went through it themselves. The wife had post natal depression and honestly it sounds shit but I didn’t understand how poorly she was.

We need to keep on making a thing of this mental health and keep on being there for people even if we don’t know them. Cos it does make a difference. I’m here for anyone to talk to.

Sorry for long post but let’s keep on keeping on. X
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Shit mate.
The fact you said ya age and weight. That brings a bearing ,ir not.
I'm 59 times running out ?.?. Na .
Mot sure if ya still with ya lass. If you are .then talk . Grow off each other. Have a laugh. Enjoy.
But is this all you wanted in life . Or just a belief/cover.
You get one chance at this shit . Ask yourself what you want .

Sorry if I'm way off mark with this
 
Northumberland said:
Shit mate.
The fact you said ya age and weight. That brings a bearing ,ir not.
I'm 59 times running out ?.?. Na .
Mot sure if ya still with ya lass. If you are .then talk . Grow off each other. Have a laugh. Enjoy.
But is this all you wanted in life . Or just a belief/cover.
You get one chance at this shit . Ask yourself what you want .

Sorry if I'm way off mark with this
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Hi mate. I was 28 stone four year ago and down to 20.5 now so that was doing my head in.
Married five year now and been with her long time.

That’s what I mean. I’ve got everything I want and wanted In life. I’m very privileged and proud of what I have got.

That’s what I mean. I don’t want or need anything so why am I sometimes so down
 
Rhubarb said:
Hi mate. I was 28 stone four year ago and down to 20.5 now so that was doing my head in.
Married five year now and been with her long time.

That’s what I mean. I’ve got everything I want and wanted In life. I’m very privileged and proud of what I have got.

That’s what I mean. I don’t want or need anything so why am I sometimes so down
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In 2007 I was a wreck. Wife etc . Kids away at her new boyfriend etc.
Roughly same age .
Drank to much ,all the usual( and it is all the usual).
But aimed for bits and bobs. Small targets . Get there . Go to next . Slightly bigger.
Off to Everest next year . Big target. Saved. Got time off work through begging lol.
What am saying is make goals. You can't be happy if you don't know what will make you happy.
You need to decide what you want out of life. And fo it . However hard.
Run after your dreams.
Gid it's took me years to realise that 😆
 
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