• The first stage of the forum upgrades has now been completed but they remain in a degraded state and are still being worked on. Normal posting/reading should now be possible.
    Please read this thread for more details.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.

Depression thread continued...

my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
 

MigsGoalKicks said:
my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
Click to expand...
Sorry for your loss mate.
 
MigsGoalKicks said:
my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
Click to expand...
So sorry for your loss mate.

It doesn't get any easier but over time you learn to live with the grief.

No shame in seeing a doctor or talking to someone if you are struggling.
 
Jesus, hell of a bad day today, work was really a struggle

Will be related to over doing it at the weekend I think.

Just trying to think and know it will pass but it’s not half difficult
MigsGoalKicks said:
my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
Click to expand...

So sorry mate, stick in there.
 
I'm about to have some counselling, so I'm sort of hopefully heading in the right direction.

However, as part of the assessment process I was asked if I'd had suicidal thoughts. I explained I haven't because I'm fundamentally not brave enough. However, I explained that I have worked out how I would do it.

I'm intrigued as to whether that's a sign of complete madness or just a normalish thought process.
 
MigsGoalKicks said:
my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
Click to expand...
Oh that is so sad I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand your anger. I am angry for you.

Sunderland games will come back to you eventually. They are a thing.....a you and your Dad thing. May take time but you will be able to face them again, with a wry smile.

Meanwhile do whatever you need to do, rant, shout, cry, shake your fist at the clouds, and if need be demand some answers from the people who were supposed to be giving him proper care. But above everything, take care of yourself and your family.
FatCat2402 said:
I'm about to have some counselling, so I'm sort of hopefully heading in the right direction.

However, as part of the assessment process I was asked if I'd had suicidal thoughts. I explained I haven't because I'm fundamentally not brave enough. However, I explained that I have worked out how I would do it.

I'm intrigued as to whether that's a sign of complete madness or just a normalish thought process.
Click to expand...
That is a suicidal thought. Planning how to do it is exactly that. Make sure you discuss it with your counsellor, so you can talk about safeguarding.
 
Last edited:
MigsGoalKicks said:
my dad passed away 10th April. He had a big, but routine surgery on 20th march and was never well after that. He got discharged from hospital (he shouldn’t have) then a few days later got rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery. He was on life support in intensive care for 4 days then unfortunately took a bad turn again and there was nothing they could do.

I cried for the first 2 days and then nothing. I am so sad. I miss him so much. But I’m really struggling to process it. It really wasn’t his time. He was still working doing a very physical job on day before operation. He just turned 65 ffs. I’m so angry at his inadequate care he’s received post operation and it’s making the grieving process even harder. It’d be easier if he had an illness but this is just totally out of the blue. Even in intensive care I always thought he’d pull around.

I just needed a rant. Depression there’s a black cloud following you around. I feel I’ve got a grey one. Just sadness constantly. I hate Sunderland games now. He’d always ring me at full time to talk about the game. I still expected him to ring today.
Click to expand...

Just catching up with this thread but that's a dreadful story, Migs, really sorry to hear all that. You must feel so frustrated and angry.

When I lost my dad (40+ years ago) I wanted to take it all out on his GP for the woeful diagnosis which shortened his life, but my dad probably didn't help himself either.

Take care of yourself, mate.
 
Can anyone on here recommend a private counselling service local to Sunderland? Struggling with a few things at the minute but waiting lists via nhs are very long and I don’t seem to meet the threshold for a more urgent referral. I could pay though.
 
lostinorthumberland said:
Can anyone on here recommend a private counselling service local to Sunderland? Struggling with a few things at the minute but waiting lists via nhs are very long and I don’t seem to meet the threshold for a more urgent referral. I could pay though.
Click to expand...
Are you sure. Contact mental health services say your condition has worsened and explain exactly how and why...it is importantnto explain how it is affecting and impeding your day to day life and how long this has bee lasting

People's çonditions worsen and it is important to let them know.
 
lostinorthumberland said:
Can anyone on here recommend a private counselling service local to Sunderland? Struggling with a few things at the minute but waiting lists via nhs are very long and I don’t seem to meet the threshold for a more urgent referral. I could pay though.
Click to expand...
I used these, based in Washington:
You must be logged on to see external links


I specifically used a lady called Anne who was a friend of a friend coincidentally and she was great.

But I’m certain the rest are equally as good.
 
CPLforever said:
Are you sure. Contact mental health services say your condition has worsened and explain exactly how and why...it is importantnto explain how it is affecting and impeding your day to day life and how long this has bee lasting

People's çonditions worsen and it is important to let them know.
Click to expand...
I wish it was that straightforward to get prioritised for the NHS mental health services but it's not due to the amount of others needing help too. I knew a lad that would do the following:

1,Go to the Wear Bridge, prep himself to jump.

2, Emergency Services would come before he jumped.

3, Contact the Crisis team, given meds and put on an 18 month waiting list for mental health counselling.

4,Breakdown over lack of support.

5, Repeat step 1.

He was eventually charged for wasting police time.
 
Springwell Mackem said:
I wish it was that straightforward to get prioritised for the NHS mental health services but it's not due to the amount of others needing help too. I knew a lad that would do the following:

1,Go to the Wear Bridge, prep himself to jump.

2, Emergency Services would come before he jumped.

3, Contact the Crisis team, given meds and put on an 18 month waiting list for mental health counselling.

4,Breakdown over lack of support.

5, Repeat step 1.

He was eventually charged for wasting police time.
Click to expand...
I'm wondering if the police charge was an attempt to prioritise the lad for treatment i.e. tick an extra box to move him up the queue?
 
Springwell Mackem said:
I wish it was that straightforward to get prioritised for the NHS mental health services but it's not due to the amount of others needing help too. I knew a lad that would do the following:

1,Go to the Wear Bridge, prep himself to jump.

2, Emergency Services would come before he jumped.

3, Contact the Crisis team, given meds and put on an 18 month waiting list for mental health counselling.

4,Breakdown over lack of support.

5, Repeat step 1.

He was eventually charged for wasting police time.
Click to expand...
Oooh poor lad. I live in Scotland and I swear to God mental health services....tho not perfect, sound like a hundred times better than that.
 
Springwell Mackem said:
I wish it was that straightforward to get prioritised for the NHS mental health services but it's not due to the amount of others needing help too. I knew a lad that would do the following:

1,Go to the Wear Bridge, prep himself to jump.

2, Emergency Services would come before he jumped.

3, Contact the Crisis team, given meds and put on an 18 month waiting list for mental health counselling.

4,Breakdown over lack of support.

5, Repeat step 1.

He was eventually charged for wasting police time.
Click to expand...
The waiting list is currently 10 weeks in Sunderland for someone in the same situation as me i.e., someone who is struggling but not at immediate risk of suicide or self harm.

Whilst I'm not doubting your friends story at all, I think it is important to make it clear that the waiting list isn't currently 18 months. Especially on a thread where someone might read that and feel more desperate as a result.

And that's for face to face counselling
 
Last edited:
FatCat2402 said:
The waiting list is currently 10 weeks in Sunderland for someone in the same situation as me i.e., someone who is struggling but not at immediate risk of suicide or self harm.

Whilst I'm not doubting your friends story at all, I think it is important to make it clear that the waiting list isn't currently 18 months. Especially on a thread where someone might read that and feel more desperate as a result.

And that's for face to face counselling
Click to expand...
I've been waiting since December and know other lads waiting since August. We get several people coming to AMC because they're advised on how long the waiting list is and to use support groups while waiting on the services.
 
Springwell Mackem said:
I've been waiting since December and know other lads waiting since August. We get several people coming to AMC because they're advised on how long the waiting list is and to use support groups while waiting on the services.
Click to expand...
In Sunderland?

That doesn't match with my experience at all.

I've been advised that it's a 10 week wait to have face to face counselling, with a female counsellor.

I have no doubt if I'd be less prescriptive it would be less.

That's through Sunderland Talking Therapies
 
FatCat2402 said:
In Sunderland?

That doesn't match with my experience at all.

I've been advised that it's a 10 week wait to have face to face counselling, with a female counsellor.

I have no doubt if I'd be less prescriptive it would be less.

That's through Sunderland Talking Therapies
Click to expand...
I think you’ve done well there. My wife’s a clinical lead for a psychology service, she’s on maternity, just had one of her psychologists leave and they’re an assistant short.

The waiting list for her service was 6 months before she left, it’ll be 12+ months when she goes back.
 
FatCat2402 said:
In Sunderland?

That doesn't match with my experience at all.

I've been advised that it's a 10 week wait to have face to face counselling, with a female counsellor.

I have no doubt if I'd be less prescriptive it would be less.

That's through Sunderland Talking Therapies
Click to expand...
Unless you're referring to the short term intervention sessions?

Me and another lad did a radio segment recently on
You must be logged on to see external links
and he covers in detail going through some early sessions, etc.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top