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Becoming a dad


I found the birth one of the most surreal experiences especially the first time almost outer body.

You've been planning and expecting this for the past year and then in an instant it's there. Don't think anything prepares you for it. Mint though.

Mrs experience might have been different mind. We definitely get the easier deal on this one!
 
sketchy said:
I think paternity is important to do straight away otherwise leaving a tired and in pain mother to do it all
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I might have been lucky but with my 3 the first few weeks were relatively easy - was later on the disrupted sleep took its toll. Anyway the thing about parenting is we all worry but there isn’t really a right way or a one size fits all in my opinion - you find the way it works for you and your lass and the bairn(s).
 
Cockney Mackem said:
There's probably some cracking online videos on how to do all of that TBF

Practice changing a nappy on a doll
Sleep when you can
Learn how to cook at least half a dozen meals
Make sure you know how to clean the house and do housework
Do your fair share round the house as she'll be more knackered than you
Work out stuff for you to do for and with the baby that's your time and gives her a break
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Some good tips there, if he needs some videos on cleaning, try searching YouTube for 4kangelatips
 
I was pretty daft in that I thought I needed to change her clothes all the time and that I’d be done for neglect if she went 12 hours with a bit of a milk medal on her grow that was otherwise clean.

Thankfully was told that was daft and I was just making laundry for us to do :lol:
Casper said:
I found the birth one of the most surreal experiences especially the first time almost outer body.

You've been planning and expecting this for the past year and then in an instant it's there. Don't think anything prepares you for it. Mint though.

Mrs experience might have been different mind. We definitely get the easier deal on this one!
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Bit different for me. Challenging in its own way - ended up being an emergency C section under general anaesthetic so I couldn’t be in the room, but also it was just me and the baby for the first few hours whilst my wife came round and was considered well enough to have the baby on her.

And obviously the circumstances have presented their own challenges as well.
 
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Cockney Mackem said:
Wish it went without saying, but it doesn't. There's too many lads whose Mams did everything, got a lass who does everything, then two weeks after the baby's born they don't understand why their game of FIFA is being interrupted by a screaming angry wife
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Lost count of the number of mates I had who bought their first house with a lass after living with their parents then were single in a year so get what you’re trying to say mate.

Fortunately I moved out at 19, you learn these things.

She’d disagree but I’m better at cooking than her. Cleaned the whole place yesterday too because I didn’t want her to be on her feet too much while I’m out today.

I just made her a bacon sandwich as well…
 
Charmless Man said:
I was pretty daft in that I thought I needed to change her clothes all the time and that I’d be done for neglect if she went 12 hours with a bit of a milk medal on her grow that was otherwise clean.

Thankfully was told that was daft and I was just making laundry for us to do :lol:


Bit different for me. Challenging in its own way - ended up being an emergency C section under general anaesthetic so I couldn’t be in the room, but also it was just me and the baby for the first few hours whilst my wife came round and was considered well enough to have the baby on her.

And obviously the circumstances have presented their own challenges as well.
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The birth is something you just want to get through. I don't hold with all this stuff they do at NCT where they say "decide what music you want in the room and the colour of cushions you're going to bring with you on the day, so you can have YOUR birth YOUR way." Forget that, I just want everyone home safe and the medical staff have forgotten us a week later because it was so standard and uneventful
 
Casper said:
I found the birth one of the most surreal experiences especially the first time almost outer body.

You've been planning and expecting this for the past year and then in an instant it's there. Don't think anything prepares you for it. Mint though.
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Agree. The moment I was handed the baby the first time, will be something I’ll never forget. Everything suddenly became real.
 
Seaham Towny said:
First one due in early May.

Any advice?

Currently flitting between joy and crippling fear and have been the last few months.

Piss takes are welcome, feel free.
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Don't go over the top with buying gear/stuff.

No need for a massive car, a massive push chair with chunky studded tyre wheels, tons of cuddly toys etc. Unless you have an enormous house a baby sleep monitor isn't needed, just leave doors ajar & you will hear them cry (otherwise you'll just sit there listening to them breathing and panicking every time they pause).

No-one (except maybe grand-parents) is interested in every detail of the sprog's daily life, don't go mad on Facebook etc.

Keep them way from McDonalds/Coca-Cola etc. for as long as possible, it's like crack cocaine to kids. Edit: and of course mobile phones/social media.
 
You will be fine, I had my son at 28 and was filled with the “how the fuck can I even slightly do this” emotion

But honestly everything just comes natural and you learn on the job.

Best thing that’s ever happened to me- the worst part is definitely the sleep though, my Fitbit honestly thought I was Ill 😂

He’s 2.5 years old now, and the sleep is way better, but still gets into our bed every night or he won’t settle (bad routine, don’t do that)

Be supportive of each other, as your both going to be ratty when tired. Take naps if you can and allow naps for her. Maybe try grab an hour when the bairns down etc.

Illness can be really scary, so ask opinions of parents/friends etc (who will have been through it) - and tbh if all else fails… your first in the que for A&E if your really scared- happened to us once - straight down and straight in. With an angry waiting room looking at you 😂
 
SPUFF said:
As a dad of 3 some great advice here.

Maybe sign of the times but my close circle of 6 mates only half of us have had kids. Late 40s now so thats unlikely to change.

While im sometimes envious of the lucky bastards without, and i respect their choices, I always feel theyve missed out on something very special.
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Couldn’t agree more. You get jealous when they’re on the away days or can just go to the pub all day on a Saturday and you’ve got a million and one things to do. But seeing your kids grow and learn and do things for the first time is incredible. Feelings you never knew you could feel happen all the time
 
Billy2Sheds said:
I might have been lucky but with my 3 the first few weeks were relatively easy - was later on the disrupted sleep took its toll. Anyway the thing about parenting is we all worry but there isn’t really a right way or a one size fits all in my opinion - you find the way it works for you and your lass and the bairn(s).
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Agree with no right way. Was just from my own experience as wife couldn't have done it alone
Charmless Man said:
Good moments - just took the bairn out in the pram with the dog for an hour to let my wife have some sleep.

After she settled 15 minutes in it was bliss.
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Used to love this and would squeeze a pint in as well. I wouldn't advise more than 2 though as it is quite the logistical nightmare needing a piss whilst with a dog and baby 😂

Got another due in April so will be doing it all again.
 
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Hbk69 said:
Couldn’t disagree more with this shite. Absolutely loved the first weeks, referring to your child as a “demanding house plant” makes you a ****, grow up.
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It did nothing for me either ,the early stages
Lots of PND come from mothers not getting that rush either . It's just graft with no real feedback from your Child . Of course you love them etc but no sleep etc is a big downer
You loved it ,good for you
I think my role came a bit later . Dad ,son thing ,exploring ,playing footy , making stuff up with his soldiers, telling stories. Loved every minute of it and he did too
 
sketchy said:
Agree with no right way. Was just from my own experience as wife couldn't have done it alone

Used to love this and would squeeze a pint in as well. I wouldn't advise more than 2 though as it is quite the logistical nightmare needing a piss whilst with a dog and baby 😂

Got another due in April so will be doing it all again.
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If I fancied a pint I’d stick the bairn in a sling I reckon :lol:
 
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