I think a few things haver caught up with me, while Thursday was good for the soul it did make me wonder and then being on the train to Sheffield on Friday that hit someone at Doncaster its been a bit of a rollercoaster couple of weeks.
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Depression thread continued...
- Thread starter Pancho
- Start date
I think a few things haver caught up with me, while Thursday was good for the soul it did make me wonder and then being on the train to Sheffield on Friday that hit someone at Doncaster its been a bit of a rollercoaster couple of weeks.
Gennaro Savastano
Midfield
Can't really offer any positive words mate but keep going.
Mr Redknapp
Striker
keep at it mate
EiffelTower
Goalkeeper
Long time reader, barely post but in a bit of a bad place atm thanks to my stupidity with betting. Managed to lose over 4 figures sat in my house the last 4 nights. Worst part is that I kind of shrugged it off and barely gave it a second thought. Enough to take the wife and kids on a weekend abroad lost during the football last night and I'm making a cup of tea seconds later thinking about how to win it back, which has caused this. I said never again each morning but by the evening the itch is back and I want to get my money back from the bookies so the stakes increase to try and do that. I promise myself I'll get out for good if I get it back but know I won't. In truth I've always been a fair sized punter, but always done ok out of it. It has caught up on me the last few months though. It hasn't affected my day to day life yet, I move it from my savings that the wife doesn't know exists and reassure myself it won't happen again. I ban myself from the sites have a month or two off then it all starts again. I've never lost this much though in such a short space of time, I was out of control the last few nights chasing. I feel so ashamed that that is money I could have spent on the kids
Funny thing is a few years ago I remember hearing stories of people doing what I have done and would naively think I had that level of control. Safe to say it is gone though
Funny thing is a few years ago I remember hearing stories of people doing what I have done and would naively think I had that level of control. Safe to say it is gone though
So sorry to hear this @EiffelTower and it's so easy to do and hide, with online gambling. All I can suggest is getting in touch with GA- gamblers anonymous who will have loads of experience with this. If evenings are the issue, can you arrange something else to keep your mind busy. I realise this is a simplistic suggestion but worth a try. Could you change your thinking to not wanting to make a bad situation worse (by loosing more), although again I know it's not that simple.
Id say get in touch with GA asap as the first step.
Longer term (not for today)you might explore whether it's the right thing to have a hidden savings account -this might be ok depending on your relationship but in mine I wouldn't be happy..
At the minute your kids are happy. They've got a roof over their head, a warm house, food on the table and a dad who loves them. Take steps to get help.
Realised after saying I could only suggest GA I've suggested quite a bit
. Sorry for the ramble but I hope some of it helps.
Id say get in touch with GA asap as the first step.
Longer term (not for today)you might explore whether it's the right thing to have a hidden savings account -this might be ok depending on your relationship but in mine I wouldn't be happy..
At the minute your kids are happy. They've got a roof over their head, a warm house, food on the table and a dad who loves them. Take steps to get help.
Realised after saying I could only suggest GA I've suggested quite a bit
. Sorry for the ramble but I hope some of it helps.EiffelTower
Goalkeeper
Thanks for your response, it means a lot. Apologies if it sounded like I was dipping into an unlimited cash reserve, it is the opposite. It is minimal savings, I had been saving a little bit separately each month in my own account to treat them to a surprise holiday in 2025 but that is gone now. I feel such a scumbag admitting that. I have basically chosen to have a bet on the football over happiness with my wife and kids. Sorry, not looking for sympathy at all, I just have no one to vent to really as I'd be ashamed to tell anyone this. The guilt then eats away at me and I want to win it back to be able to do the initial surprise I had in store, it's a vicious circle that I can't shake.So sorry to hear this @EiffelTower and it's so easy to do and hide, with online gambling. All I can suggest is getting in touch with GA- gamblers anonymous who will have loads of experience with this. If evenings are the issue, can you arrange something else to keep your mind busy. I realise this is a simplistic suggestion but worth a try. Could you change your thinking to not wanting to make a bad situation worse (by loosing more), although again I know it's not that simple.
Id say get in touch with GA asap as the first step.
Longer term (not for today)you might explore whether it's the right thing to have a hidden savings account -this might be ok depending on your relationship but in mine I wouldn't be happy..
At the minute your kids are happy. They've got a roof over their head, a warm house, food on the table and a dad who loves them. Take steps to get help.
Realised after saying I could only suggest GA I've suggested quite a bit
I have frozen my bank card so I can't bet this evening as I just know what I'll be like come 7.30 but it feels like a short term solution. I do need to take that first step of GA, I went to a meeting a few months ago and I couldn't walk through the door, I sat in the car and left after 20 minutes. It all feels more real if I go there I think and I'm a bit weak with stuff like this
Keep trying. You recognise it's a problem and that's a massive start. Have you a friend you trust. The majority of people would want to support you and not judge. Could they go along to a first meeting with you. It's hard to walk in but you can do it you are not weak. Posting on here is a positive step.
EiffelTower
Goalkeeper
Thanks for your words and advice, means a lot
D.A
Striker
Could you speak to your wife about it?
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I'm hoping this link works or that people can copy it into the browser. It is a post shared by Durham police re a number of wellness walks in co. Durham over December and January.
I don't know if this is a regular thing or just over Xmas but sounds fab.
Can you not "self ban" at online bookies? Do that, delete all of the apps, delete any saved passwords/logins on the accounts/websites on your phone etc.
Freezing and unfreezing your card means you're still the one in control. If you cant yet face a meeting in person is there nothing online?
Take a positive in that the money was savings which, although they (wife and kids) didn't know was for the holiday...isn't something you've had to cancel.
Consider a new goal of the same holiday at a later date or a smaller treat still next year...DO NOT allow it to escalate into a debt problem. Have seen it happen and it's not pretty.
EiffelTower
Goalkeeper
I should really but just don't feel I'm quite at that point to talk to her yet, want to get myself sorted before I add to her own worries
I've self banned myself, just easy to walk into a bookies. Reported my card lost to get me through the weekend and aiming to go to a class next week one night as a first step. Feel a bit better today in that I haven't let it spiral to a point where my life is ruined but need to use that as motivation to sort it out once and for all
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InsomniacAttack
Winger
I'm sure I've got that SAD like. As soon as the clocks change my mood drops like a stone.
D.A
Striker
Me anarl, get some supplements! Healthspan elite are meant to be good for vitamin d
Obviously I don't know your wife but if she's married you, she'll support you through this situation. A problem shared is a problem solved. You've taken the first step by opening up.
If you want someone to talk too, call the samaritans.
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I am 46 and it has been a festival of materialism for every single one of my years. Once I stopped believing in God I found it much easier to ignore it and be at peace.
S.S.R..
Striker
Xmas is probably a bit shite for the majority of people.
If you're alone, it reminds you you're alone
If you're in a shite relationship, again
If your family members aren't really there for you
If you work retail and don't get decent hols over it and have to work about three times as hard as you usually do
If you're skint and you feel guilty you can't treat your loved ones like you want
a lot of us fall in one or more of those categories.
Mine is usually a bit crap, but I try not to feel sorry for myself cos I know many are in the same boat. If you're having a 'mare of a Xmas, raise a can or a glass for all the other folk that are probably in the same position.
If you're alone, it reminds you you're alone
If you're in a shite relationship, again
If your family members aren't really there for you
If you work retail and don't get decent hols over it and have to work about three times as hard as you usually do
If you're skint and you feel guilty you can't treat your loved ones like you want
a lot of us fall in one or more of those categories.
Mine is usually a bit crap, but I try not to feel sorry for myself cos I know many are in the same boat. If you're having a 'mare of a Xmas, raise a can or a glass for all the other folk that are probably in the same position.
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Mr Redknapp
Striker
We all have our vices and challenges mate. I blew thousands on cam sites in my early 20s you can get over it mate..
Or she might just be someone I thought she was but wasn't, she was at the engagement party last night but paid me little to no attention.. I don't know her very well tbf but should have been a bit concern when she didn't show me any concern when I lost my dad...From my interpretation of what you've posted it seems there's an oppportunity in there somwhere, don't blow it - play the gentleman, it's what she's looking for. Keep staring into her eyes, women like that.
Christmas party is on
. TBF I did like her humour but wasn't that bothered about her physically if that makes sense. Felt so shitty I left the party about 10 and had a few hours on my own 
,it wasn't her not fancying me just the usual demons in the head coming home to roost.
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70s traveller
Striker
Or she might just be someone I thought she was but wasn't, she was at the engagement party last night but paid me little to no attention.. I don't know her very well tbf but should have been a bit concern when she didn't show me any concern when I lost my dad... . TBF I did like her humour but wasn't that bothered about her physically if that makes sense. Felt so shitty I left the party about 10 and had a few hours on my own ,it wasn't her not fancying me just the usual demons in the head coming home to roost.
[/QUOTE]
Don't read too much into what did or didn't happen at a party with lots of people around. She may have been thinking you didn't particularly want to spend time with her.
. TBF I did like her humour but wasn't that bothered about her physically if that makes sense. Felt so shitty I left the party about 10 and had a few hours on my own ,it wasn't her not fancying me just the usual demons in the head coming home to roost.[/QUOTE]
Don't read too much into what did or didn't happen at a party with lots of people around. She may have been thinking you didn't particularly want to spend time with her.
D.A
Striker
Ask her for a coffee.We all have our vices and challenges mate. I blew thousands on cam sites in my early 20s you can get over it mate..
Or she might just be someone I thought she was but wasn't, she was at the engagement party last night but paid me little to no attention.. I don't know her very well tbf but should have been a bit concern when she didn't show me any concern when I lost my dad...
Mr Redknapp
Striker
She didn't talk to me at all (baring a couple of words), you know if someone's interested in you or not. it's the work night out next week so i think i'm better off trying to look away from people i work with..too much pressure. This is something that gets me down anyway and since last month it seems magnified
