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Depression thread continued...
- Thread starter Pancho
- Start date
Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
There's space in my inbox now.
Have you asked her not to ask you? Sometimes you have to be firm and set your own boundaries, even if it seems like a really hard thing to do. Take care mate xx
Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
Haven't directly said not to ask me but have on multiple occasions told her she knows what the answer is so why ask. I realise that makes it sound like I'm being a dick but that isn't my intention.
No you're not being a dick. It's part of the "be kind" thing. We get that hung up on being nice to other people and not hurting their feelings, that we're not strong enough to assert ourselves when they're doing something that makes us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to speak up for yourself and ask someone not to do something.
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Yes, shite post in the ethos of this thread imho.
CPLforever
Winger
I always equate it to when you go to a wedding and you have to smile all day. At the service, in the photos, during the speeches etc etc. Then you get home and your face is aching. I don't mean to be flippant but if "putting your face on" is actually knackering for your actual face imagine what it is doing to your head.
Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
I know but what is the alternative? Can't really just sit in tears all the time in front of the kids and at work.
CPLforever
Winger
Don't know is the honest answer. Suppose I just wanted to say I know what you mean and it's shit. This one is fellowship rather than any attempt at coming up with a solution.
This can be fixed. Not overnight, but it can be fixed.
Did you speak to your GP about medication or look for any support or groups in your area?
I think you said you're covered by Sunderland? You can self refer here:
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The nearest Andy's Man Clubs to you run on Monday nights at Horden or Murton. I know one of the men who runs the Sunderland Beacon group and he's lovely.
Space NE is on at the Beacon on Wednesday nights. Met the man who runs that and I'm close friends with his assistant. They're both sound. I can put you in touch with him if you want to chat before you turn up to see if it's right for you.
Another nice man is Shane from Not a Statistic. He runs his group from the Beacon on Thursdays.
You can turn up at any of those groups and say as much or as little as you like. All three men above know that you might turn up and feel like it's not the right fit for you. They're happy to pass you around each other until you find something that suits you!
The man I'm friends with will also have information on other Sunderland based stuff. I can ask him for you if you want me to.
MigsGoalKicks
Midfield
Been there mate (and still am most of the time) clear some space and I’ll give you a DM
Hi all, hope everyone is doing okay. Better weather is here now. The light nights will hopefully help everyone!
I’m doing okay. Have potential to progress at work for the first time in bloody years. Need to learn how to drive in the next year or 2 to achieve this. If anyone knows any good driving instructors (and cheap!) preferably in Chester Le Street let me know. I’m still on my pregabalin and mirtazapine. Pregab has really levelled out. Psychiatrist has signed me off. But I’m still half the person I was 5 years ago. A shadow of myself. Has anyone been through this? I’d love to be able to talk to someone who’s beat panic disorder properly. I just can’t imagine beating this. I can’t imagine a life without panic attacks daily.
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CatRyan
Striker
Ask your GP of they provide Silverlink. Was boss for me. It is like an on line module you do... a course of little steps and you have a Therapist who oversees it and nudges you about a bit if needed or listens etc
Suited me really well and being online when I could squirrel away a bit of time to do it was perfect.
So when I hit a new low a while back I thought I'd give it another go but was too distrait to actually start it
Just made a note to myself to ask my GP to set it up again... I think I'm up for it now.
So what I'm saying is I get that sometimes that first small step can seem like trying to scale Everest. So don't worry if you're not up for it, if you want a chat about it I'm doing f all
CPLforever
Winger
Love a practical gal. Hopefully @Ciro_DiMarzio you can find the strength to investigate one of these suggestions
Sometimes a wee top up of tried and tested therapeutic intervention,is needed, just to remind us how we have managed our stuff in the past.Ask your GP of they provide Silverlink. Was boss for me. It is like an on line module you do... a course of little steps and you have a Therapist who oversees it and nudges you about a bit if needed or listens etc
Suited me really well and being online when I could squirrel away a bit of time to do it was perfect.
So when I hit a new low a while back I thought I'd give it another go but was too distrait to actually start it
Just made a note to myself to ask my GP to set it up again... I think I'm up for it now.
So what I'm saying is I get that sometimes that first small step can seem like trying to scale Everest. So don't worry if you're not up for it, if you want a chat about it I'm doing f all
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CatRyan
Striker
Well this Silverlink thing isn't introspective at all which was perfect for me as I can not take an inch of that... it was all small steps that gently reconnect you to positive routines and it is all so manageable. So for instance the first week it will just be something small like "call a friend and talk about general stuff" then it builds on that for a couple of weeks to meeting said friend.... that is just one aspect of it but I think what it did was gently open you up to joy again without making it painful.
Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
I've cleared some space mate. I probably won't reply until tomorrow now because I'm nackered but I'm not ignoring you.Been there mate (and still am most of the time) clear some space and I’ll give you a DM
Hi all, hope everyone is doing okay. Better weather is here now. The light nights will hopefully help everyone!
I’m doing okay. Have potential to progress at work for the first time in bloody years. Need to learn how to drive in the next year or 2 to achieve this. If anyone knows any good driving instructors (and cheap!) preferably in Chester Le Street let me know. I’m still on my pregabalin and mirtazapine. Pregab has really levelled out. Psychiatrist has signed me off. But I’m still half the person I was 5 years ago. A shadow of myself. Has anyone been through this? I’d love to be able to talk to someone who’s beat panic disorder properly. I just can’t imagine beating this. I can’t imagine a life without panic attacks daily.
I'll reply to this in the morning as well Becs. Thanks.
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Roker SOL
Winger
Former lady friend has briefly resurfaced I mentioned above after several weeks of silence on both sides.
After incorrectly accusing me of a breach of her privacy over the "Enjoy your break. Tell X (label of relative, not name) to do their share." remark I mentioned, she's spilled her guts to a mutual female acquaintance creating a potential proper breach of my privacy. Acquaintance and I have never been buddies so as long as she does no more, then no loss.
But outside chance of rumour spreading and incorrect accusations is not something I need right now. Counselling for my depression and ASD has been going well and may be drawing to a conclusion. I don't want to be set back.
After incorrectly accusing me of a breach of her privacy over the "Enjoy your break. Tell X (label of relative, not name) to do their share." remark I mentioned, she's spilled her guts to a mutual female acquaintance creating a potential proper breach of my privacy. Acquaintance and I have never been buddies so as long as she does no more, then no loss.
But outside chance of rumour spreading and incorrect accusations is not something I need right now. Counselling for my depression and ASD has been going well and may be drawing to a conclusion. I don't want to be set back.
I’m assuming you mean Silvercloud? If so, I think there’s still only a handful of NHS trusts signed up to it and they’re all down South.Ask your GP of they provide Silverlink. Was boss for me. It is like an on line module you do... a course of little steps and you have a Therapist who oversees it and nudges you about a bit if needed or listens etc
Suited me really well and being online when I could squirrel away a bit of time to do it was perfect.
So when I hit a new low a while back I thought I'd give it another go but was too distrait to actually start it
Just made a note to myself to ask my GP to set it up again... I think I'm up for it now.
So what I'm saying is I get that sometimes that first small step can seem like trying to scale Everest. So don't worry if you're not up for it, if you want a chat about it I'm doing f all
CPLforever
Winger
If I was you I would keep her at a distance. You know how you felt when she blanked you last time.
Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
Thank you Becs for this post you're a real diamond in this thread. I know I'm my own worst enemy for not seeing my G.P or trying to get involved in one of these groups. I've got a good mate also recommending me lots of options for help but I just can't find the courage to be proactive in helping myself. Having being shy since I was a kid is really biting me in the arse now.
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