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Depression

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Rhubarb said:
How are all doing? Sending love to everyone on this thread even if just reading.
Well I tried to go to work today and was up all night having panic attacks and sweating me tits off.
Sat and shed a tear like a loser this morning and couldn’t make it.
Spoke to my manager and trying again in morning.
Even if it’s just for a meeting.
See what happens.
Mad how this can turn a 41 year old man into f***ing tears and like a child. Hate the bastard thing with a passion.
Anyway I’m off to try and sleep and see what happens in morning but I’m adamant I’m going in.
I’ve grafted since the day I left school.
Keep on keeping on people.
Love Rhubarb. X
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Thinking of you today.
 

Well folks. I was up at six and got ready for work made me coffee and off I went. Only had a meeting with my manager and spoke about what shifts I’m going to do but I went.
Feel a bit better knowing what I’m going to do next and that I’ve been in.

Thankyou everyone fir your kind words.

Back again the morra start at ten.
 
Rhubarb said:
Well folks. I was up at six and got ready for work made me coffee and off I went. Only had a meeting with my manager and spoke about what shifts I’m going to do but I went.
Feel a bit better knowing what I’m going to do next and that I’ve been in.

Thankyou everyone fir your kind words.

Back again the morra start at ten.
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You should be so proud of yourself. Well done. Honestly.
 
Trying not to drink for a month and running every day.

Feel slightly better than last week.

I am feeling a bit lost like, I think am going to lose my job, which isn't ideal but am not that bothered like about the actual job.

But dont have any direction, never known in my life what I wanna do with it.

Wish I had something I was passionate about, everything would be so much easier
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Trying not to drink for a month and running every day.

Feel slightly better than last week.

I am feeling a bit lost like, I think am going to lose my job, which isn't ideal but am not that bothered like about the actual job.

But dont have any direction, never known in my life what I wanna do with it.

Wish I had something I was passionate about, everything would be so much easier
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Try and think of it as a new start mate so have a think about all them little things you wanted to do as a kid and definitely keep up the running as will do you the world of good.
Would you ever just drastically think about changing career like Uni or something as think you would be class in the mental health field ?
 
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Rhubarb said:
Well folks. I was up at six and got ready for work made me coffee and off I went. Only had a meeting with my manager and spoke about what shifts I’m going to do but I went.
Feel a bit better knowing what I’m going to do next and that I’ve been in.

Thankyou everyone fir your kind words.

Back again the morra start at ten.
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Suffered stress badly many years ago and i remember many telling me to jack in my stressful job.

Folk often say on here to others get a sick note for a few month.

Personally I felt doing nowt would be worse for me mentally than grafting. Say thinking 24/7. But think biggest fear was if i did it, eventually going back in.

Well done mate.
MustardAndOnions said:
Trying not to drink for a month and running every day.

Feel slightly better than last week.

I am feeling a bit lost like, I think am going to lose my job, which isn't ideal but am not that bothered like about the actual job.

But dont have any direction, never known in my life what I wanna do with it.

Wish I had something I was passionate about, everything would be so much easier
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Was telling a mate that i visited a long lodt mate over Southport recently. Completely changed man, hardly drinks n loves his job so much he does saturdays for nowt!

We were both quite envious of that, both doing financially rewarding jobs but neither of us keen on them.
 
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MustardAndOnions said:
Trying not to drink for a month and running every day.

Feel slightly better than last week.

I am feeling a bit lost like, I think am going to lose my job, which isn't ideal but am not that bothered like about the actual job.

But dont have any direction, never known in my life what I wanna do with it.

Wish I had something I was passionate about, everything would be so much easier
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Glad you're feeling a bit better this week tho. My heart went out to you last week. Good for you tackling it head on. Keep it up and good luck.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Trying not to drink for a month and running every day.

Feel slightly better than last week.

I am feeling a bit lost like, I think am going to lose my job, which isn't ideal but am not that bothered like about the actual job.

But dont have any direction, never known in my life what I wanna do with it.

Wish I had something I was passionate about, everything would be so much easier
Click to expand...
Possibly doesn't seem like it when losing a job, but that change could be the trigger you're looking for. A couple of former workmates went on to better things that they didn't believe possible. They'd been quite happy plodding along in the dead end one until a new job was needed. One found himself as a new person and altered his life totally. I don't think he's looked back which is great compared to how he was looking at it. You'll find there is life out there. [ - You may actually work out that you drank because of the job you're in].

And By the fact you're not bothered about losing the job it says to me you're ready for that change

With a change of environment you'll find something (new) to be passionate about.
 
Rhubarb said:
Well folks. I was up at six and got ready for work made me coffee and off I went. Only had a meeting with my manager and spoke about what shifts I’m going to do but I went.
Feel a bit better knowing what I’m going to do next and that I’ve been in.

Thankyou everyone fir your kind words.

Back again the morra start at ten.
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Over the moon to read that. Really proud of you mate. Have a hug xx
 
So my own mild autism journey continues. One female friend lost due to massive misunderstanding and her possibly not believing I have the condition. In counselling at the moment and having some interesting days developing strategies to deal with some of the effects. Some have reached out, one has even apologised for the way they treat me at school. Most people are just getting on with life, which is fair enough.

It's never going to be perfect but there's some ideas coming out of it.

99% of the time, I seem to tick by fine, 1% dumb and 1% of 1% is when the weird shit happens (shutdowns, misunderstandings, hyperfocus events, etc.). I'm trying to deal with 1% of 1%.

But I've just read this and there might be a treatment possibility forthcoming.

You must be logged on to see external links
 
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Suspender Sue said:
So my own mild autism journey continues. One female friend lost due to massive misunderstanding and her possibly not believing I have the condition. In counselling at the moment and having some interesting days developing strategies to deal with some of the effects. Some have reached out, one has even apologised for the way they treat me at school. Most people are just getting on with life, which is fair enough.

It's never going to be perfect but there's some ideas coming out of it.

99% of the time, I seem to tick by fine, 1% dumb and 1% of 1% is when the weird shit happens (shutdowns, misunderstandings, hyperfocus events, etc.). I'm trying to deal with 1% of 1%.

But I've just read this and there might be a treatment possibility forthcoming.

You must be logged on to see external links
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Good luck with everything mate and keep on posting as it helps so many others who are sometimes frightened to speak up.
 
lucky said:
Good luck with everything mate and keep on posting as it helps so many others who are sometimes frightened to speak up.
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Difficult just right now as I've just been sacked off by a lass for a minor error on Facebook (the Technical Facebook Question thread).

I was fond of her too and had thought she understood my low level Autism.

But as people have said on that, I need to move on.
 
Definitely has Autism vibes over feeling guilty about telling the truth because someone doesn't like it, then bending over backwards and worrying when they're being a complete pain in the arse about it.

Stop people-pleasing and bin them when they start playing petty little games with you. Real pals don't haul you over the coals for being honest.

Ask yourself: Are you apologising because you regret saying it or are you apologising because their reaction makes you feel uncomfortable?

See Also - Doing things you'd prefer not to do because saying no makes you feel uneasy, then resenting the person, but still doing what they want.
 
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S.S.R.. said:
Definitely has Autism vibes over feeling guilty about telling the truth because someone doesn't like it, then bending over backwards and worrying when they're being a complete pain in the arse about it.

Stop people-pleasing and bin them when they start playing petty little games with you. Real pals don't haul you over the coals for being honest.

Ask yourself: Are you apologising because you regret saying it or are you apologising because their reaction makes you feel uncomfortable?

See Also - Doing things you'd prefer not to do because saying no makes you feel uneasy, then resenting the person, but still doing what they want.
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Oh god. Your ask yourself and see also. Could describe me exactly. No Autism here however I still relate.
 
CPLforever said:
Oh god. Your ask yourself and see also. Could describe me exactly. No Autism here however I still relate.
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Aye, being a doormat and not putting yourself first isn't exclusive to the neurodivergent. The trap you can fall in is that you can keep telling yourself what a nice person you are, whatever the fuck that means. By all means be fair, be kind when you can, but fuck being nice.

You've got to have a backbone and have the courage to be unliked and be positively unpleasant when the need arises.

Watch out for those that instantly attack you when you try to stick up for yourself. Same exact people that'd step over you if you were lying on the floor bleeding. Fuck 'em.
 
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S.S.R.. said:
Aye, being a doormat and not putting yourself first isn't exclusive to the neurodivergent. The trap you can fall in is that you can keep telling yourself what a nice person you are, whatever the fuck that means. By all means be fair, be kind when you can, but fuck being nice.

You've got to have a backbone and have the courage to be unliked and be positively unpleasant when the need arises.

Watch out for those that instantly attack you when you try to stick up for yourself. Same exact people that'd step over you if you were lying on the floor bleeding. Fuck 'em.
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This is my problem. I’m such a doormat and I bend over backwards for other people. I hate confrontation and find it impossible to say no to people. Booked my first person-centred therapy session yesterday so see how that goes.
 
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