I know it sounds horrible but sometimes I wish I didn't have kids. Love them to bits but if I didn't have them everything would be easier. I could just disappear and live (or die) anywhere and I wouldn't be missed. I feel like I'm a great dad when my head's ok but I'm absolutely useless at the minute.
I don’t think for one moment that most of us have not had the same thoughts.
Equally they don’t make it easy and when you have your own challenges, they are your kids and most of us take their worries on as well.
You’re a good bloke as is everyone else who posts on this thread.
Just have to keep reminding yourself it’s those little bastard demons hiding in your head that take control. So easy to overthink, often thinking the big quantum leap decisions solve everything because they don’t. Equally never get frustrated at that because the solution to all of this is most often closer than what you think.
Talking and meeting people in my opinion is the best help of the lot. I know from my own experiences when I get stressed or frustrated I go into my “hedgehog” mode and curl up and push everyone away, doing everything on your own is not always the best solution as you are leaving more time to think and over-thinking if not controlled is a right bastard.
Finally I do believe Covid had a real negative impact on all of us and the remnants are still haunting us even now. It significantly impacted and changed our lives so quickly and most of us unaware of the damages it has caused.
When was the last time you had a great laugh? That is something that should be targeted by us all.
Sadly and unfortunately we should never have chosen our mutual football teams but hey hoo we can still have a laugh at the non footballing side of that.
Stay strong all you wonderful people. X
or a 
if our paths ever cross.