If I haven't slept well, before I've even got out of bed, I've usually convinced myself I'm going to have a shite day and everything is going to go wrong.
Just be honest with them mate. It's the best way. Take care xx
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Depression
- Thread starter Maravilla
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If I haven't slept well, before I've even got out of bed, I've usually convinced myself I'm going to have a shite day and everything is going to go wrong.
Just be honest with them mate. It's the best way. Take care xx
Roker Mackem
Striker
I dont do that but feeling crap all day usually leads to having a pretty miserable day anyway.
Im not worrying about anything in particular, its just butterflies in my belly constantly.
Turner the Cat
Midfield
I'm so sorry to hear that. I cant even imagine what that must be like for you
burb
Striker
Cheers mate, it's hard work like. I just try maximise my coping mechanisms and take every day as it comes. My heart goes out to everyone dealing with mental health issues however big or small.
GillytheGilf
Striker
If your head and relationship to your lass needs sorting then you need to knock the weekend away on the head. Your mates can live without you and can get fucked if they don’t understand.
Goat Eyes
Striker
Spoke to my dad tonight who is severely depressed, housebound, bed bound, smokes like a trooper and just generally has no life and getting more and more frail every week.
He was telling me how depressed he is. I told him I’d ring the docs for a med check knowing he’ll never improve and there’s probably nothing they can do for him. What do you do in this situation?
He was telling me how depressed he is. I told him I’d ring the docs for a med check knowing he’ll never improve and there’s probably nothing they can do for him. What do you do in this situation?
Spoke to my dad tonight who is severely depressed, housebound, bed bound, smokes like a trooper and just generally has no life and getting more and more frail every week.
He was telling me how depressed he is. I told him I’d ring the docs for a med check knowing he’ll never improve and there’s probably nothing they can do for him. What do you do in this situation?
Have social services done an assessment? They might have ideas.
You could also try Age Concern for advice.
If he or you are in the Sunderland area, try Sunderland Carers. They're brilliant and highly recommend.
Not sure what is wrong with his health but any charity associated with the condition. Eg Stroke Association if he's had a stroke.
Harry Gates
Winger
I'm not a one for giving advice kidda but it took me about 22 years of cohabitation to realise it's not for me.
Hope you can reach an amicable solution.
Goat Eyes
Striker
Yeah, done all of that. Social Services have put everything practical in place that he needs, as well as physio etc. to help him keep mobile post stroke.
I’ve been in regular contact with Age Concern, they used to provide him some home care services which they stopped when he got abusive with their staff. (He used to be so placid).
He’s got a care package, Telecare, even someone who goes in and cuts his toenails etc. in place too. All of which I’ve sorted.
The problem isn’t help. I do his shopping and spend time with him although I get nothing back in the way of conversation, so does my brother which makes it difficult for us to go round when we have families of our own. He has carers go in three times a day. He’s got all the help he needs (I think) but he’s depressed, he wants a magic pill but they don’t exist. Likewise he doesn’t really want to help himself.
I’ll ring his GP today but doubt they’ll have much they can do for him aside from a meds review.
Five-Quarter
Midfield
I was just browsing your posts again as it feel like something's peaking once more
Dread-low-irritability-relief-hyper-exhausted
Basically my daily cycle
The detached spaced out panicky horribleness has been a big struggle this last week or 2
Does he do anything to keep his mind active? My Dad got addicted to watching quiz shows when he was paralysed after his stroke.
He also started watching stuff like Bargain Hunt and Cash in the Attic and ended up becoming a sort of expert on antiques even though he'd never shown any interest in that before his stroke. He liked to try and guess what he thought things would sell for before the auction.
Anything like that or puzzle books, jigsaws, that kind of thing too. Maybe model kits or some kind of craft activity like that if he can still use his hands.
It's hard like. Feel for you xx
Goat Eyes
Striker
He’s not really mentally or physically capable of much beyond watching TV.
From a highly skilled carpenter to someone who is bed bound and housebound and doesn’t have the dexterity to complete a puzzle or jigsaw. A lot of it his own making as he has smoked pretty much his whole life and even after health warnings carried on.
Even the glimmer of happiness he’d get from seeing his grandkids doesn’t happen as I can’t (won’t) take my kids into his smoke filled house to see him.
I’ve accepted all this but it’s still sad to see.
So sorry @Goat Eyes that's a horrible place to be in for you and your dad. Can he get out at all like wheelchair assisted or totally housebound mate.
Goat Eyes
Striker
He could but zero interest. Other than forcing him out, he’s got zero interest in it.
MigsGoalKicks
Midfield
I know what you mean. I think once the black dog has become apart of you it will always be in the background. No amount of medication, therapy, counselling will take it away. Makes people with it the strongest people tbeir is. One day at a time mate.
Has he got any mates kicking about? How does he get his tabs? If it’s other people buying them could he go with them. Sounds like a horrible situation for you.
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Goat Eyes
Striker
He had friends but none now really. I wouldn’t want to burden someone else with his problems, that wouldn’t be fair.
I do his shopping, get his tabs etc. my older brother too. I don’t begrudge doing any of that, but when I asked how he was doing last night he said he’s feeling really depressed and I’ve honestly ran out of ideas to help him.
He was brought up in and out of care in the 50’s/60’s, mam was an alchy. Didn’t have a great education but never the less, got himself a good trade. Got made redundant in the mid/late 90’s and never went back to the trade, did some factory work and latterly as a porter. Never stopped smoking from about the age of 13 and is no 71.
Two failed marriages and four kids. The downward spiral was about four years ago when my sister died. He has left the house only to go to the hospital or dentist since.
He then met a Filipino lass online who essentially rinsed him a bit despite him wanting and expecting more.
I can see where everything has gone wrong for him.
I’ve tried to get him to Men in Sheds in the past, encouraged him to get a hobby, even get on the bus to come and see his grandkids but he never did. Now it’s impossible but he still wants and expects help.
Poor fella
Would he go to an old folks day club?
I know there's one in Bethany Church at Houghton on Tuesdays. They have a cuppa and a biscuit, then there's various activities they can flit between depending on what they fancy. They get another cuppa and a cake before they go home. My Mam goes to that one and enjoys it.
Goat Eyes
Striker
Again, a good idea but it would take at least two of us to get him there and back. I could try for some community transport but considering he won’t even leave the house to come for Christmas dinner, it’s unlikely.Poor fella
Would he go to an old folks day club?
I know there's one in Bethany Church at Houghton on Tuesdays. They have a cuppa and a biscuit, then there's various activities they can flit between depending on what they fancy. They get another cuppa and a cake before they go home. My Mam goes to that one and enjoys it.
He needed purpose years ago…
I’ll try with him again.
Turner the Cat
Midfield
Does feel like there are a few similarities between you and I what with the impulsiveness, drinking and therapy experiences. I think we're a similar age as well.
I struggle a bit to write this but if things arent right for you then please do think about reaching out and getting help.
The reason Im wary about writing that is that ive been terrible myself at getting help when i need it and I know if its not been a good experience before (e.g. crap therapists), reaching out again can be difficult.
No idea if this would help but I'm a trustee for a charity and one of the things we do is TWAP or Tea with a Pony. Its focused on people suffering with depression and those from old peoples homes and especially with dementia. Anyway, you cannot imagine the transformation it can have on their wellbeing. I dont know if something like that might help - even just a visit from a friendly dog or something with animals?
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