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Depression

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S.S.R.. said:
Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me. :cry:
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I'm done with disliking my family, with the exception of one of them for good reason. Done it for too long and held too many grudges so we've all decided to put them in the past and that is working for us right now.

I can understand the sentiment behind it, especially if you feel like they are toxic to your life and bring very little else other than hurt and anguish and bad emotions.

Do what is right for you and then see if they want to adapt to make a healthier relationship for everyone. If they don't then you already know what you want mate.
de Ruyter said:
I won't comment too much on everything you've said as am not very good at 'helping', but felt I could reply a little

Don't know where you live or work but you mention students and I suffered a bit this week in the crowds of them in Durham. Got pelters for mentioning them on here like and sometimes I wonder if parts of this forum are healthy - even though most of it is fab. I am prone to lash out a bit mind but I think it might be a little bit of a coping mechanism rather than solely bottle negativity up in my head. Stupid as it sounds

And you're not alone. Took me 3 attempts and over an hour to leave the house today. Went really weird in the head for a while and it can only have been a panic attack. They don't affect me in the standard sense. I don't get rapid breathing for example more a horrible out of it sensation. Anyway, I have no choice to get out when I have to go to work but today was hard again

And yes, it's really healthy to know there are people, things, resources you can turn to so keeping it at the forefront of your mind has to be good. I have this mantra lately of telling myself I've been through worse before, so it can't be that bad just now
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I'm a postie in Durham mate, so I completely understand.

And yeah I don't get rapid breathing either. I don't know how to describe it other than feeling like I have an air bubble stuck in my lungs, and the only way I can try and get rid of it is to breathe in extremely deeply over and over again. If I don't keep doing that, then I feel like I can't breathe. It's a fucked up feeling though.
 
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Fred said:
I'm done with disliking my family, with the exception of one of them for good reason. Done it for too long and held too many grudges so we've all decided to put them in the past and that is working for us right now.

I can understand the sentiment behind it, especially if you feel like they are toxic to your life and bring very little else other than hurt and anguish and bad emotions.

Do what is right for you and then see if they want to adapt to make a healthier relationship for everyone. If they don't then you already know what you want mate.

I'm a postie in Durham mate, so I completely understand.

And yeah I don't get rapid breathing either. I don't know how to describe it other than feeling like I have an air bubble stuck in my lungs, and the only way I can try and get rid of it is to breathe in extremely deeply over and over again. If I don't keep doing that, then I feel like I can't breathe. It's a fucked up feeling though.
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Nothing against students particularly but there was 2 days in particular this week when there were hoardes of them everywhere I went. Masses pushing onto buses and generally gathered in big groups. Being a bit hyper sensitive to crowds and having a tough week anyway, I found it overwhelming

Funny one. I don't even seem to need to breathe slowly. I just go completely out of it but know it'll pass. I can literally talk myself into one all too easily too once the slightest hint starts. Then am shattered after
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I'm not really close to my family. Haven't seen my dad for close to 20 years, don't speak to my brother, not really close to my mam anymore. Really get on with my sister and my nana and granda but still only see them once every couple of months. It hasn't been a conscious effort to avoid them it's just the way it's turned out.
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Long story, but the only member of my family I was close to... I let him down badly last Christmas (a misunderstanding) and we haven't seen each other since. I am going to ask him out for a drink over Christmas.
 
ouro said:
Long story, but the only member of my family I was close to... I let him down badly last Christmas (a misunderstanding) and we haven't seen each other since. I am going to ask him out for a drink over Christmas.
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I'd love to make up with my brother but I just can't be around him while he is like he is. Saw him for the first time in four years at a family meal a couple of months ago and we didn't even make eye contact.

Would also love to see my dad again and have a pint with him (last time I did was when I was 19) but for whatever reason he has no interest in communicating with anybody other than my sister who he occasionally texts.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I'd love to make up with my brother but I just can't be around him while he is like he is. Saw him for the first time in four years at a family meal a couple of months ago and we didn't even make eye contact.

Would also love to see my dad again and have a pint with him (last time I did was when I was 19) but for whatever reason he has no interest in communicating with anybody other than my sister who he occasionally texts.
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Make up while you can. Someone has to make the first move.
 
I guess sometimes we need to make decisions on who to invest time in and trust and for some that is not always family. Focus on those people who have positive influence and I would say just make sure your brother knows you love him but you can't be around his lifestyle.

Not sure lifestyle is the right word but I'm sure you get my drift.
 
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Ciro_DiMarzio said:
It's awful mate. He went to prison with a coke habit and came out with a heroin habit. Funnily enough his going off the rails coincided with my dad disappearing.
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Mate I am so sorry sounds it so bad and I agree with above , let your brother know you love him and always will. Saw people on heroin and its just an awful circle and that's why I have the utmost respect for anyone who can kick that habit as its probably the hardest thing to stop ever.
 
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Ciro_DiMarzio said:
It's awful mate. He went to prison with a coke habit and came out with a heroin habit. Funnily enough his going off the rails coincided with my dad disappearing.
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If he wasn't related to you, would he be the kind of person you'd give the time of day?

Finally decided I don't owe anything to someone ust because they're family. Done with toxic relationships.
 
Have managed to keep the black dog at bay for a good few years now but it has come back with a vengeance in the last week. Struggle to get any meaningful sleep, feel as if my chest is going to explode, losing appetite and concentration. Managing to just about keep it together but have been asked a couple of times today if I am alright and have teared up. I can't talk about it as I can't really understand why it's happening - just accepted a new job and have baby number 2 on the way so things should be all rosy, but this dark cloud is hovering above me. Really hoping some good sleep will kick it away from me.
 
The Breen Machine said:
Have managed to keep the black dog at bay for a good few years now but it has come back with a vengeance in the last week. Struggle to get any meaningful sleep, feel as if my chest is going to explode, losing appetite and concentration. Managing to just about keep it together but have been asked a couple of times today if I am alright and have teared up. I can't talk about it as I can't really understand why it's happening - just accepted a new job and have baby number 2 on the way so things should be all rosy, but this dark cloud is hovering above me. Really hoping some good sleep will kick it away from me.
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A new job and a new baby, whilst albeit wonderful and very exciting, also brings change and unknown. Its perhaps understandable you are feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Has medication worked for you in the past. If so is it worth an early trip to the gp? Take it each day at a time and get support where you can be it here or in real life. I'm no expert but good luck and don't beat yourself up.
 
TAD said:
A new job and a new baby, whilst albeit wonderful and very exciting, also brings change and unknown. Its perhaps understandable you are feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Has medication worked for you in the past. If so is it worth an early trip to the gp? Take it each day at a time and get support where you can be it here or in real life. I'm no expert but good luck and don't beat yourself up.dint beat yourself up.
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Thank you.
It's been a good while since I took medication, it did the trick at the time but I am reluctant to get back into a reliance again. Will take it day by day, lack of sleep will definitely be running be down, and the emotions of leaving a safe, secure job with lots of strong relationships to move into an unknown (To begin with anyway).
 
The Breen Machine said:
Have managed to keep the black dog at bay for a good few years now but it has come back with a vengeance in the last week. Struggle to get any meaningful sleep, feel as if my chest is going to explode, losing appetite and concentration. Managing to just about keep it together but have been asked a couple of times today if I am alright and have teared up. I can't talk about it as I can't really understand why it's happening - just accepted a new job and have baby number 2 on the way so things should be all rosy, but this dark cloud is hovering above me. Really hoping some good sleep will kick it away from me.
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Sounds a lot like anxiety and being overwhelmed with a lot of genuinely important stuff going on in your life.

New job, baby on the way... ...even the good upheavals can pile on the pressure.
 
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The Breen Machine said:
Thank you.
It's been a good while since I took medication, it did the trick at the time but I am reluctant to get back into a reliance again. Will take it day by day, lack of sleep will definitely be running be down, and the emotions of leaving a safe, secure job with lots of strong relationships to move into an unknown (To begin with anyway).
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From personal experience, I did end up back on medication after putting off going to the GPs for a while in a similar situation. It's hard when you don't want to catastrophise a dip as a return to depression, but also this can make you ignore warning signs and stop you from taking action early. Can't advise what is the right thing for you to do, but please don't see it as failure if you go back in medication. Sending positive thoughts.
 
I seem to get proper introspective on Saturdays

Dunno if it's a wee bit of healing time or just because I have the time to dwell

Every other day am a bit preoccupied with work and other daily routine thoughts, including Sundays

I think out loud on here a lot lately as well. Funny one.

Anyway hope anyone who had a bit of a shitty week, worries, dark thoughts etc has found some peace/positivity today
 
de Ruyter said:
I seem to get proper introspective on Saturdays

Dunno if it's a wee bit of healing time or just because I have the time to dwell

Every other day am a bit preoccupied with work and other daily routine thoughts, including Sundays

I think out loud on here a lot lately as well. Funny one.

Anyway hope anyone who had a bit of a shitty week, worries, dark thoughts etc has found some peace/positivity today
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Thinking out look is good. Better than keeping it in.
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