Depression

[lucky]

Ah sorry to hear. I know the old adage of even just getting out for a walk gets knocked about but it does help massively. And this thread has helped me out a lot

I spoke at length about this with someone and it seems mothers don’t seem to understand that men in todays society do struggle. I often look at my own kids and think if they ever felt the way I’ve felt in the past I’d never forgive myself.

So pleased your doing well mate you done amazing and should be proud and that last sentence just shows the person you are. We all have problems but why do I find the kindest people I've ever spoke to are people who have suffered so much but are always about to help at the same time , I know I don't know people personally on here but @de Ruyter he is going through massive problems but if I needed help and he could help I know he would.

Not even sure it was a 1950s thing so a hangover from the war, I wasn't born till the 70s

By the age of 21 my dad had gone. The absolute humiliation of it being on the news. Every twat knew. The entire community

Haven't dealt with it. Just buried it so deep I still don't know the anniversary. I can find out from the news reports but am not going to do that 25 years later

He was my hero. The man who would do anything for me. First pint, first Sunderland game, first shave, everything

Am weeping now just typing it

We've been through a lot you've missed you stupid stupid bastard

Anyway my mother is no use to anyone. Got it in my head I won't care for her when she's too old. Didn't care for me when I needed it so she can feck right off

There ends tonights tale of woe

Hello my mate I know your struggling but remember you have so many people on here that care about you and never mind your dad was your hero he still is. Make him proud mate and I bet your his hero too , keep going and keep fighting and never give up and we all behind you to pull through this.

 

[mackem1989]

Check in for me, hope everyone’s doing well.

I’m doing better at the moment and it’s been hard but had plenty of people supporting me.

Inbox is always open

I really think this thread deserves to be on the smb

 

[lucky]

Check in for me, hope everyone’s doing well.

I’m doing better at the moment and it’s been hard but had plenty of people supporting me.

Inbox is always open

I really think this thread deserves to be on the smb

Well done mate , keep going

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Me and my partner have been going through a tough few months recently and had discussed a way to work on things for the better. We have a 4 year old daughter and 14 month old son so we both agreed we needed to try and make things work for the kids.

Yesterday she admitted to me she no longer wants to fix things and doesn't feel the same way she used to about us and wants us to separate. We've got a mortgage together and everything we done was geared towards our future plans together as a family. I thought we had everything and were settled for life. I'm absolutely broken and struggling to see a life where I'm not with my kids everyday.

Has anyone else been through similar? How did you cope with this? Feels like my whole life is being taken away from me

Sorry I am a couple of weeks late relpying to this but me and our lass had a rough patch like this earlier in the year. It was the hardest time of my life trying to imagine not living with my kids. Seriously contemplated suicidefor weeks between May and July but things are so much better now after making some small adjustments and one large adjustment. I see since the post I have quoted things have improved which is great. Keep working at it.

I have had a few low times, but my lowest was when my wife called our daughter to come around as she couldn't cope with my mood swings and alcohol dependence. I feel worse now. The one person I thought saw me in a good light... doesn't anymore.

My relationshp with alcohol was a big part of my relationship problems earlier this year. It had kind of crept up on me over the ast 3 years ad I didn't even realise how much I was putting away compared to say 5 years ago.Was a bit of a wake up call when out of the blue it looked like I was going to find myself single. Hope you manage to get a grip of it an improve your relationship.

Ah sorry to hear. I know the old adage of even just getting out for a walk gets knocked about but it does help massively. And this thread has helped me out a lot

I spoke at length about this with someone and it seems mothers don’t seem to understand that men in todays society do struggle. I often look at my own kids and think if they ever felt the way I’ve felt in the past I’d never forgive myself.

Don't have much of a relationship with my mother either. Both of our faults in equal measure mind.

 

[lucky]

Sorry I am a couple of weeks late relpying to this but me and our lass had a rough patch like this earlier in the year. It was the hardest time of my life trying to imagine not living with my kids. Seriously contemplated suicidefor weeks between May and July but things are so much better now after making some small adjustments and one large adjustment. I see since the post I have quoted things have improved which is great. Keep working at it.


My relationshp with alcohol was a big part of my relationship problems earlier this year. It had kind of crept up on me over the ast 3 years ad I didn't even realise how much I was putting away compared to say 5 years ago.Was a bit of a wake up call when out of the blue it looked like I was going to find myself single. Hope you manage to get a grip of it an improve your relationship.

Don't have much of a relationship with my mother either. Both of our faults in equal measure mind.

Pleased everything has turned round for you mate just shows it can be done .

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Pleased everything has turned round for you mate just shows it can be done .

Yes talking and being honest with each other was key. Few hard truths from both sides and some minor changes to our behaviour has made a huge difference. We've been together 21 years and it's been mostly good but it's easy to get lazy and neglect each other if you don't keep your eye on the ball.

 

[lucky]

Yes talking and being honest with each other was key. Few hard truths from both sides and some minor changes to our behaviour has made a huge difference. We've been together 21 years and it's been mostly good but it's easy to get lazy and neglect each other if you don't keep your eye on the ball.

Over the moon mate honestly for you all as a family .

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Over the moon mate honestly for you all as a family .

Cheers mate.

 

[Nathan Gunn]

Sorry I am a couple of weeks late relpying to this but me and our lass had a rough patch like this earlier in the year. It was the hardest time of my life trying to imagine not living with my kids. Seriously contemplated suicidefor weeks between May and July but things are so much better now after making some small adjustments and one large adjustment. I see since the post I have quoted things have improved which is great. Keep working at it.

Thanks for the reply mate. Delighted to see the improvement on your side!

It's still quite recent for us so i'm not getting too carried away yet, but the last couple of weeks have been like night and day to where we were. We had a lovely date night the other week where we went out for a meal and then cinema which we've not done for years. We've got another one arranged for a couple of weeks time. We became too focussed on being mam and dad and forgotten we had a relationship there which needed our time as well.

Couple of smaller tweaks in day to day life which will be bespoke to us - but just having time together has changed things massively.

A year or so back my partner was close to a promotion at work so she done a few extra shifts as overtime to boost her chances (these became more frequent when she seen the extra money as well!). My old man said to us at the time and i'll never forget it, "just be careful both of you, we all want to advance our careers as much as possible for our kids and you will be no different. But don't ever allow it to become more important than your home life". We thought nothing of it at the time, but with hindsight he was spot on - and had we took it on board at the time, i'm sure we'd have never had our issues

 

[ouro]

I have to ask: Do any of you medicate? My brother does, and his hyper mood swings are terrible. My wife thinks I should, but I dunno. Having seen what the drugs do, I am not keen. I'd rather feel angry and low all the time.

 

[lucky]

I have to ask: Do any of you medicate? My brother does, and his hyper mood swings are terrible. My wife thinks I should, but I dunno. Having seen what the drugs do, I am not keen. I'd rather feel angry and low all the time.

I stopped taking sertraline just not seeing any difference but again that could have been with me drinking as well at the same time.

 

[Jorrd93]

I have to ask: Do any of you medicate? My brother does, and his hyper mood swings are terrible. My wife thinks I should, but I dunno. Having seen what the drugs do, I am not keen. I'd rather feel angry and low all the time.

I did for a little bit, completely lost my head was extremely reckless and gambled 6 months wages in a week. Stopped taking them and told the doctor I don't want to try any others.

I did for a little bit, completely lost my head was extremely reckless and gambled 6 months wages in a week. Stopped taking them and told the doctor I don't want to try any others.

I can't edit but thinking about this I don't want to make it seem like I don't think you should try. I know friends who have had great success with them and since came off them. Just offering my personal experience; i've not really improved since the doctor offered me them but I'm not the way I was on them.

 

[superhans1]

I have to ask: Do any of you medicate? My brother does, and his hyper mood swings are terrible. My wife thinks I should, but I dunno. Having seen what the drugs do, I am not keen. I'd rather feel angry and low all the time.

I was on citalopram (SSRI) for depression and anxiety and it was a massive help. It made me feel like my normal self again and after a few years I tapered off. That was 2014 and so far I haven't had to go back. My regret is that I waited for two years before taking it, scared of being a person who relies on anti-depressants. People react differently to different meds and I might have been lucky, and I think therapy also helped, but if your doctor recommends something I would at least give it a go personally. They definitely can work.

 

[S.S.R..]

Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me.

 

[mackem1989]

Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me.

If you have to cut people
Off mate do it. I cut my dad out of my life and it was one of the best things you have done.

You have a mental illness with depression, don’t feel guilty for being unwell if you broken a bone you would do what you can to fix it.

If cutting people off fixes it for you then cut them off!!



On my mental health I’ve been suffering from PTSD and having strange dreams that Hamas invade roker seaburn and I have to defend them but I fail and many people die and it’s my fault, I’m glad it’s dreams and it’s freaking me out like fuck.

I need to stay out of the political/news threads

I have to ask: Do any of you medicate? My brother does, and his hyper mood swings are terrible. My wife thinks I should, but I dunno. Having seen what the drugs do, I am not keen. I'd rather feel angry and low all the time.

I’m on mirtazapine and olanzapine an anti depressant and an anti pyscotic it’s keeping me away from a section 3 mental health act. Sorry about my spelling and random full stops it makes it easier for me to type.

 

[lucky]

Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me.

Probably more common than you would imagine mate . Hope your doing well and you do what's best for you.

If you have to cut people
Off mate do it. I cut my dad out of my life and it was one of the best things you have done.

You have a mental illness with depression, don’t feel guilty for being unwell if you broken a bone you would do what you can to fix it.

If cutting people off fixes it for you then cut them off!!



On my mental health I’ve been suffering from PTSD and having strange dreams that Hamas invade roker seaburn and I have to defend them but I fail and many people die and it’s my fault, I’m glad it’s dreams and it’s freaking me out like fuck.

I need to stay out of the political/news threads

I’m on mirtazapine and olanzapine an anti depressant and an anti pyscotic it’s keeping me away from a section 3 mental health act. Sorry about my spelling and random full stops it makes it easier for me to type.

Same goes to you mate stay strong and keep going. Spot on what you said above about not feeling guilty about mental illness .

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me.

I'm not really close to my family. Haven't seen my dad for close to 20 years, don't speak to my brother, not really close to my mam anymore. Really get on with my sister and my nana and granda but still only see them once every couple of months. It hasn't been a conscious effort to avoid them it's just the way it's turned out.

 

[Five-Quarter]

Anyone else dislike their family? I don't mean your wife and kids; like parents, siblings and all the assorted kids and hangers on that come?

Can't be arsed with any of them, but feel like I'm obligated to make an effort with them. To me they're all unlikeable characters in a film I didn't ask to be the protagonist of.

Fantasise about f***ing off somewhere and putting them in the rear view mirror. I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person; but they're really not good for my mental health.

Honestly, I'm a decent bloke. I'm the type who steps up and helps folk when others don't; I care about people who don't give a toss about me. There's a guy at work who made my life difficult when I started and now I see he's sick as fuck of the place, I should be inwardly gloating, but I feel sorry for him.

But my family... ...I feel nothing. Fuck all. They're a hangnail to me.

Yes. One in particular who is a destructive influence but I can't shake her or her general shitness off. It's like a lifelong game.

Having a bad (or good or indifferent it doesn't matter) day? I'll give my son a ring and lay into him for a laugh because I've done it for nearly half a century and I can't stop now. If he doesn't answer the phone I'll start hounding him until I get my fix

Went out today. She finally caught up with me after another round of missed calls tonight as I gave in. "Where the hell have you been?". Am 47

My brother had the right idea and buggered off away from it years ago. We don't really talk these days. No other family and am grateful for it

Useful to get it off my chest occasionally

 

[Fred]

Been a bit of a crazy few weeks for me.

Back to work after 2 months off, just in time for the students to come back and the place to turn into complete bedlam. I'm enjoying being out and about again on delivery but having difficulty adjusting to the indoor bit again. Since I had the mental breakdown of sorts a few months ago, I seem to have developed a bit of claustrophobia and having difficulty being in close proximity to people again.

This lead to today where we were going to go to Team Valley, but seeing the queue of cars waiting to get in, decided to go to the Metro centre instead and boy did I ever regret it. Absolutely heaving and little or no space to breathe for a lot of the time. At one point I was just trying to keep an eye on my youngest who was walking very slowly and then a crowd of people walked in between us and I had to barge my way through them to get to him, and it set off what I can only think was a panic attack. My chest tightened up and I found myself struggling to breathe for a good 20 seconds and then tried to get my breathing under control first and attempted to relax my mind a little. It took a good while to get it under control. I've had them in the past before but my chest has never tightened with it so something I'm possibly going to have to keep an eye out for.

I've also had 4 counselling sessions in the last few weeks. These are going really well and we are talking about a lot of issues and she keeps saying she is very impressed with how in tune I am with my feelings and how much I understand what I am feeling and how I am feeling it. It's now just learning how to combat them feelings when they hit, a bit like today. It feels a lot like slow progress at times and one step forwards and two steps back with it feeling like shit is consistently hitting the fan around me, but I know there will come a time when my life calms down and then it'll be two steps forwards and no steps back.

Until then I'm just going to try and accept that I'm going to go through a lot of shit times and I will be able to power through them like I have done. If I don't feel like I can, I know I have places to turn to with friends, family, this board and professional help now to get me through it.

 

[Five-Quarter]

Been a bit of a crazy few weeks for me.

Back to work after 2 months off, just in time for the students to come back and the place to turn into complete bedlam. I'm enjoying being out and about again on delivery but having difficulty adjusting to the indoor bit again. Since I had the mental breakdown of sorts a few months ago, I seem to have developed a bit of claustrophobia and having difficulty being in close proximity to people again.

This lead to today where we were going to go to Team Valley, but seeing the queue of cars waiting to get in, decided to go to the Metro centre instead and boy did I ever regret it. Absolutely heaving and little or no space to breathe for a lot of the time. At one point I was just trying to keep an eye on my youngest who was walking very slowly and then a crowd of people walked in between us and I had to barge my way through them to get to him, and it set off what I can only think was a panic attack. My chest tightened up and I found myself struggling to breathe for a good 20 seconds and then tried to get my breathing under control first and attempted to relax my mind a little. It took a good while to get it under control. I've had them in the past before but my chest has never tightened with it so something I'm possibly going to have to keep an eye out for.

I've also had 4 counselling sessions in the last few weeks. These are going really well and we are talking about a lot of issues and she keeps saying she is very impressed with how in tune I am with my feelings and how much I understand what I am feeling and how I am feeling it. It's now just learning how to combat them feelings when they hit, a bit like today. It feels a lot like slow progress at times and one step forwards and two steps back with it feeling like shit is consistently hitting the fan around me, but I know there will come a time when my life calms down and then it'll be two steps forwards and no steps back.

Until then I'm just going to try and accept that I'm going to go through a lot of shit times and I will be able to power through them like I have done. If I don't feel like I can, I know I have places to turn to with friends, family, this board and professional help now to get me through it.

I won't comment too much on everything you've said as am not very good at 'helping', but felt I could reply a little

Don't know where you live or work but you mention students and I suffered a bit this week in the crowds of them in Durham. Got pelters for mentioning them on here like and sometimes I wonder if parts of this forum are healthy - even though most of it is fab. I am prone to lash out a bit mind but I think it might be a little bit of a coping mechanism rather than solely bottle negativity up in my head. Stupid as it sounds

And you're not alone. Took me 3 attempts and over an hour to leave the house today. Went really weird in the head for a while and it can only have been a panic attack. They don't affect me in the standard sense. I don't get rapid breathing for example more a horrible out of it sensation. Anyway, I have no choice to get out when I have to go to work but today was hard again

And yes, it's really healthy to know there are people, things, resources you can turn to so keeping it at the forefront of your mind has to be good. I have this mantra lately of telling myself I've been through worse before, so it can't be that bad just now