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Depression

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Maravilla said:
Know this is a pretty frequently discussed topic on here and a lot of good advice is given so here goes.

Been suffering from depression for years and I'm currently going through one of those stages where I'm just constantly feeling shit no matter what I do and am really struggling to get up in the morning to go to work and can barely go an hour without having a suicidal thought, took an overdose of pills last year but that didn't work and in all honesty I feel like I did around that time, but don't really have the bottle to try owt like that again. Know fine well that I don't help myself in some aspects but just want to get to the point where I can live a relatively normal life.

I'm not especially close to my family and whilst I do love them I can't really bring myself to confide in them, been fucked about and fobbed off at every opportunity by the doctors whenever I go to see them about it, I do know that I can always tell my best friend but I don't want to bother them again with this shit, especially after a little drunken heart-to-heart we had last night, so just thought I'd give this a go.
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Get professional help for starters and also start exercising regularly.
That can be walking ‘ cycling ‘ jogging ‘ swimming ‘racket sports ‘ weight training ‘ Cardio at the Gym’ Boxing ‘ Judo ect ect
My mate swears by cold water therapy after a close family member bereavement .
Any or all of the above will help keep things on a even keel.
Cut out any drinking or drugs if that is part of your life.
Keep away from any negative influences re people .
Try get a routine re sleep and drag yourself out of bed 6-7am and exercise and eat a healthy breakfast .
Keep at it and push thru the dark episodes .
Remember your not along and by joining a gym ect you meet people.
If your close to Peterlee they have just had a new gym open and the pool and sauna re open in September which ain’t long.

You can get a gym sauna swim membership for £25 per month.

Best of Luck going forward 👍
 

Billericay Dichio said:
Even reading a book on CBT can be helpful. Every little bit of understanding what is happening is useful. There are techniques that can be self-taught. Good luck.
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Definitely. I read a few books on CBT and they helped me a lot. The most important aspect (at least in my experience) of CBT was keeping a diary of the negative thoughts (the situation/trigger, the thought, category of negative thought and outcome). This helped me to recognise when I was having an automatic negative thought and to nip it in the bud, safe in the knowledge that the outcome of the situation was likely to be fine like most of the other examples in the diary. It's quite liberating feeling to jump off a negative thought train that you know could have otherwise gone on for a long time in the wrong direction.
 
SunshineonarainyDay said:
Get professional help for starters and also start exercising regularly.
That can be walking ‘ cycling ‘ jogging ‘ swimming ‘racket sports ‘ weight training ‘ Cardio at the Gym’ Boxing ‘ Judo ect ect
My mate swears by cold water therapy after a close family member bereavement .
Any or all of the above will help keep things on a even keel.
Cut out any drinking or drugs if that is part of your life.
Keep away from any negative influences re people .
Try get a routine re sleep and drag yourself out of bed 6-7am and exercise and eat a healthy breakfast .
Keep at it and push thru the dark episodes .
Remember your not along and by joining a gym ect you meet people.
If your close to Peterlee they have just had a new gym open and the pool and sauna re open in September which ain’t long.

You can get a gym sauna swim membership for £25 per month.

Best of Luck going forward 👍
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No idea if you are aware or not mate but that post is from 2013, still solid advice either way mind.
 
Here we bloody go again.

Been strong all week and of course I'm fine... until I'm not

I've been impressing people so much all week that I am indeed actual amazing I have two new job offers

Then I start to slowly collapse starting yesterday

Been shaking since. You don't deserve either of them

So I accepted both. Maybe I can screw them both up or satisfy them both?

Got them both. Didn't deserve either. So screw them both up. And then you can really wallow in misery

It's not normal
 
de Ruyter said:
Here we bloody go again.

Been strong all week and of course I'm fine... until I'm not

I've been impressing people so much all week that I am indeed actual amazing I have two new job offers

Then I start to slowly collapse starting yesterday

Been shaking since. You don't deserve either of them

So I accepted both. Maybe I can screw them both up or satisfy them both?

Got them both. Didn't deserve either. So screw them both up. And then you can really wallow in misery

It's not normal
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Imposter syndrome. You got offered the jobs because you demonstrated that you are indeed worthy of them. It’s that simple.
 
GTG said:
I don't know if anyone else watches Eastenders but in the last few weeks they have dealt with ADHD in adults and PTSD, and this week worked in CBT and EMDR, all in among the usual violence, blackmail and misery.

People slag off soaps but I think they do a fantastic job of raising awareness of all sorts of 'issues'.
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Soaps get a lot of stick for over the top stroylines but they do have major positives like you mention.

If a big soap has storylines about mental health related issues, whether that be depression, eating disorders, dementia or something else, we always see an increase in referrals for that condition.
 
Massively, massively struggling with my mental health atm. My job has me on my knees atm, we’ve made loads of staff redundant and shared the work out between 3 of us and it’s horrendous. Plus my boss takes the piss. I’ve had enough, it’s got me ill.

We’ve had friends staying all weekend and I haven’t been able to concentrate/have a good time as my brain feels fucked. Impending doom feeling all the time and just super down.

Even the gym’s not helping. I need to sort it out.
 
de Ruyter said:
I've been impressing people so much all week that I am indeed actual amazing I have two new job offers

Then I start to slowly collapse starting yesterday
Click to expand...
Do you feel a mental collapse after stressful situations? It happens to me in that I can power through them then when there is nothing left to concentrate on, my mind, mood and body can collapse. I had this specific issue myself when I was made redundant as my father died and I got bombarded with job interviews until I had to say no more.

billybobmackem2312 said:
Even the gym’s not helping. I need to sort it out.
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Keep at it if you can. It could be helping in that is stopping you from going even lower. Hope you have a quick bounce back.
 
DBStar said:
Do you feel a mental collapse after stressful situations? It happens to me in that I can power through them then when there is nothing left to concentrate on, my mind, mood and body can collapse. I had this specific issue myself when I was made redundant as my father died and I got bombarded with job interviews until I had to say no more.


Keep at it if you can. It could be helping in that is stopping you from going even lower. Hope you have a quick bounce back.
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Becomes a bit out of an out of body experience!

Hope everyone has a good week anyway
 
SunshineonarainyDay said:
Get professional help for starters and also start exercising regularly.
That can be walking ‘ cycling ‘ jogging ‘ swimming ‘racket sports ‘ weight training ‘ Cardio at the Gym’ Boxing ‘ Judo ect ect
My mate swears by cold water therapy after a close family member bereavement .
Any or all of the above will help keep things on a even keel.
Cut out any drinking or drugs if that is part of your life.
Keep away from any negative influences re people .
Try get a routine re sleep and drag yourself out of bed 6-7am and exercise and eat a healthy breakfast .
Keep at it and push thru the dark episodes .
Remember your not along and by joining a gym ect you meet people.
If your close to Peterlee they have just had a new gym open and the pool and sauna re open in September which ain’t long.

You can get a gym sauna swim membership for £25 per month.

Best of Luck going forward 👍
Click to expand...

Exercise is a massive deal when it comes to mental health issues. If you can force yourself out of bed for a run, cycle or walk before the day starts it makes a huge difference.

I'd used to love getting out at 5am and doing a 20km run or cycle to work... Which was 25km.

I'm happy to just get out for a 5km walk these days since I've got an arthritic knee.
 
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Walking just tends to make me ruminate more now. There's been a few times when I've gone out for a walk and I've just come back feeling worse.
 
shadowplay said:
Walking just tends to make me ruminate more now. There's been a few times when I've gone out for a walk and I've just come back feeling worse.
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Have you tried grounding before? I find the same grounding techniques I use to prevent dissociation can help. E.g. find 5 green things, 5 things to feel, 5 sounds etc.
 
de Ruyter said:
Here we bloody go again.

Been strong all week and of course I'm fine... until I'm not

I've been impressing people so much all week that I am indeed actual amazing I have two new job offers

Then I start to slowly collapse starting yesterday

Been shaking since. You don't deserve either of them

So I accepted both. Maybe I can screw them both up or satisfy them both?

Got them both. Didn't deserve either. So screw them both up. And then you can really wallow in misery

It's not normal
Click to expand...
This is classic imposter syndrome that a huge number of people suffer from and I have done in the past.

I would recommend you give whichever job you take the best shot that you can possible give it (which I have no doubt you’d do anyway). Be objective in your own performance as those around you at work do not necessarily all want you to succeed.

Give yourself some realistic targets and goals that you would define as success in that role over a week/month/year and do what is necessary to achieve them. Your thoughts will not go away overnight but being consistent and knowing you are on the right path, with a stack of evidence of good results of your own making and your confidence will sky rocket.
 
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Lonz said:
This is classic imposter syndrome that a huge number of people suffer from and I have done in the past.

I would recommend you give whichever job you take the best shot that you can possible give it (which I have no doubt you’d do anyway). Be objective in your own performance as those around you at work do not necessarily all want you to succeed.

Give yourself some realistic targets and goals that you would define as success in that role over a week/month/year and do what is necessary to achieve them. Your thoughts will not go away overnight but being consistent and knowing you are on the right path, with a stack of evidence of good results of your own making and your confidence will sky rocket.
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Thanks. Good post and makes sense.

Funny situation this. Have accepted both. Started the higher paid one knowing the last time I did this type of role I crashed out and it took me ages to get sorted.

I was shit at it too if am honest because I lack the personality, strength and drive to do such a job. At 47 that is unlikely to change as am a proper plodder

So am trying to work out if I can do it (as the imposter fearing the worst) while thinking I can flee to the lower level job (sabotaging the current one by running away).

Probably better for my wellbeing to step down but a lot less money. Then there's pressure and expectation from others. Not least the kids mother. Get no sense from them

Got about 2 more weeks till I have to decide. Don't think there's a right answer. Maybe you're right about breaking it down into steps and goals

More like a careers advice ramble this!
 
de Ruyter said:
Thanks. Good post and makes sense.

Funny situation this. Have accepted both. Started the higher paid one knowing the last time I did this type of role I crashed out and it took me ages to get sorted.

I was shit at it too if am honest because I lack the personality, strength and drive to do such a job. At 47 that is unlikely to change as am a proper plodder

So am trying to work out if I can do it (as the imposter fearing the worst) while thinking I can flee to the lower level job (sabotaging the current one by running away).

Probably better for my wellbeing to step down but a lot less money. Then there's pressure and expectation from others. Not least the kids mother. Get no sense from them

Got about 2 more weeks till I have to decide. Don't think there's a right answer. Maybe you're right about breaking it down into steps and goals

More like a careers advice ramble this!
Click to expand...
As others have said already, you have been accepted for the role because you are deemed the best candidate who applied. That includes everything you’ve achieved already on your CV and how you can across in the interview. This is the first bit of evidence you can build on.

Just to clarify my earlier post, I meant to stress ‘what success would look like to you?” not your colleagues, or friends or family. I’m not sure whether that was what came across. This is your job and you are allowed your own things in life and no one on the outside has anything to do with it, really. It’s difficult to advise without knowing you or what the jobs are but be wary of putting too much unnecessary stress on yourself. Maybe take one job on now and if it goes well, there will always be others available should you need the extra cash.

Pressures from loved ones are tough, we do not want to let anyone down but we all have different strengths and weaknesses in our personalities and skills. We can build on them though.

Without knowing what the job is or entails, it sounds like there are already things you already know you can improve on. This is a good thing. It’s likely you’re not as bad as you think you are but this would be a good place to start with setting those goals I mentioned. Where would you like to be in a month’s time with these, realistically? Work your way back from there one day at a time. Even one hour at a time. Start building that stack of evidence one bit at a time.

This sounds like this could be a really good opportunity for some personal growth mate. None of us are the finished article and we’re all learning. Take this chance to prove those annoying, lying voices in your head wrong. I’m rooting for you.
 
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You shouldn't listen to anything your child's mother says about your career or income.

As long as you're providing adequately, I'm sure your child would rather have a less stressed and happier dad around than one who's stressed out and seen as a money funnel. This will be something they come to understand even more when they get older themselves.

It's hard enough to listen to or ignore that voice in your head telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing to improve yourself, without taking on a lot of other people's opinions.
 
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