Partner's kids
- Thread starter Jakata
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HeroHurley
Midfield
Out of interest mate, how long have you and your partner been together?
Sometimes it takes quite a while to adjust. Our lass has 2, a boy and a girl. We've been together for 13 years. The lad is 18 and the lass just gone 21 so I've lived and been around them for some time now but it's taken until the last 2 or 3 years to really get on and appreciate each other. This year the two of them actually got me a fathers day card and a present. It was something small but the significance was massive for me. Not ashamed to say I had a little tear in my eye. They've both had on/mostly off relationships with their dad so over the last few years, it's dawned on them that it's been me that's looked after and provided for them and our lass.
Stick with them. Treat them with respect. Don't throw your relationship in their face and if they want a relationship with their other parent, respect it.
Sometimes it takes quite a while to adjust. Our lass has 2, a boy and a girl. We've been together for 13 years. The lad is 18 and the lass just gone 21 so I've lived and been around them for some time now but it's taken until the last 2 or 3 years to really get on and appreciate each other. This year the two of them actually got me a fathers day card and a present. It was something small but the significance was massive for me. Not ashamed to say I had a little tear in my eye. They've both had on/mostly off relationships with their dad so over the last few years, it's dawned on them that it's been me that's looked after and provided for them and our lass.
Stick with them. Treat them with respect. Don't throw your relationship in their face and if they want a relationship with their other parent, respect it.
heroesof73
Striker
njmackem
Striker
Been there. Went through some rough years but things are good now. Although that said I have been with her mom for 12 years now. Also she has grown up got married, joined the military and has a home of her own. Remain close though.
Dave Herbal
Striker
Mine doesn’t really take an interest as she’s been there done that with her own and has no desire to do it again.
Jakata
Central Defender
Been together about a year but the home environment thing is just a few months really. Slightly thrown into it a bit more by lockdown
Absolutely no intent of forcing anything. In fact they think am really just quiet and not sure if am overdoing being that way either
Just pondering I suppose while 15 yr old hasn't surfaced all day
Old Prestonian
Striker
That's what teenagers do. I sometimes forget that my daughter is in the house as she spends so much time in her bedroom.
Jakata
Central Defender
I genuinely text the other half earlier as had been out 20 mins and no sign all day. The phone stalking app she checked apparently says she's in the house
The little one is a bit "strange" . Awful temper. Woke up this morning to find him sat in the corner just staring at me. Apparently he'd sat like that for ages. And not the first time
And he has this heightened sense of smell. Says he can smell me /others where I've sat or slept. Ages after too. Either I stink or he's got a hounds nose
Gillythedilf
Winger
You’ve got to see it from their point of view,your just some chancer who’s shagging their mar and living in their house when it should be their dad who’s there.Thats how the daughter will look at you.
my advice would be to treat them as they are your own,a mate of mine used to complain about”our lasses bairn” and didn’t realise that that attitude was half the reason she was a little cow.
havnt said all that most people struggle to bring up their own bairns when it’s the most natural thing in the world.so good luck.
HeroHurley
Midfield
No offence here at all mate, is there any chance that he could be on the Autistic Spectrum or something similar? My cousins son has Primordial dwarfism and that sounds like exactly the type of thing he does.
Gillythedilf
Winger
Kids now would do this all day long if you let them,I didn’t allow it as it’s a slippery slope to The likes of depression ,anxiety etc etc.Ive seen it happen.
Old Prestonian
Striker
It's about allowing them to have their own space and develop independence. She's off to study Medicine in September (hopefully) so she's reasonably well adjusted. i was much the same at her age and I think in our case a fair bit is down to being the only child.
Shusssh
Midfield
Turn the WiFi off and you’ll soon find out if she’s in or not.
South Banker Wolf
Midfield
Mate my niece is 15 and does exactly what you describe. It's not the easiest taking someone else's kids on but after they suss you out the reward will be massive. Hang in there marra and talk it through with your missus. Don't bottle it up.
Jakata
Central Defender
I was loathe to suggest it in that post because a lot of things seem to get tagged as on the spectrum and I don't know him well enough to really hazard a guess. The other often says "something isn't right" like
Gillythedilf
Winger
Hopefully it’s just a phase as you say.Id be mindful of it at the same time though and nip it in the bud if it becomes day after day.
This isn’t aimed at you or anyone else reading this but my opinion of being a parent Of a teenage kid isn’t to choose the easy life as most do/to keep the peace or not wanting to upset anyone it’s about preparing them for adult life /filling them with confidence and drive to fly the nest for them to go on and have a happy meaningful life of their own.
slightly off topic all that I know but the cooked up in the room carry on has alarm bells ringing for me that somethings not right.Im guessing loads of parents know exactly what I’m getting at as we have all come across it in some capacity.
Old Prestonian
Striker
I agree with this but you have to recognise that you can't live their life for them and allow them some space to develop independence.
Henners61
Midfield
This . My son has ASD and smell and hearing are super fine tuned . A really fussy eater as a kid he's now "trying to try" new foods but smells them first and if they smell ok he will then taste them . He can smell the difference between different brands of baked deans !
MonkeyLove
Striker
Sounds like you’ve got a problem child there mate, I’d get out now
googleboogle
Midfield
he is going to cut you up in your sleep and eat your liver.
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