Making new friends/getting a girlfriend at 42

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jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
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I would consider joining a dating site. At 42 it is the easiest way to meet someone and you'll find plenty of people a similar age to yourself.
 
Dave Herbal said:
Far too sensible. Don’t think she was too impressed with my tales of drug fuelled excess in the 90s. And wanted to meet in Starbucks instead of a pub FFS. We got there and I had literally no idea what to order, having never been there before.
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Mate, we sound like we’re looking for the exact opposite in people. I’d feel much more comfortable meeting for a coffee and a chat as a first date!
 
jedi_toaster said:
My Instagram is - kingofcosta (I’m Ben, my name is under the handle) I’ve tattooed a few people off here over the years, but won’t tout for business on the SMB as it’s against the rules. Also, tattoos are a very personal thing and it’s up to the individual if they want my services, I never like to try and push it on people.

Thanks for the thought though Cat. :)
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Sorry, a bit off topic from your original post, but can I ask if you have ever tattooed over a scar and how long should you wait until you get one done?

Also, I had open heart surgery back in December and have two long scars (on my chest and forearm). Have you ever tattooed over one of these and do you have any suggestions for tattoo ideas - basically two scars about 10 inches long...

Grateful for any suggestions..
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ll only play if I can be the keeper. My fitness is around the level of an asthmatic geriatric leper.
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I'm 52 man, you have 11 weeks to get some level of fitness, so theres an incentive for you to get you started.
Try the couch to 5k, then start participating in the Saturday morning park runs.
 
Kevj said:
As dirty as a dogs arsehole if Herbal has any good fortune.
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The dirty ones are on tinder.

WillD said:
Haway man soft lad, I haven't played for 2 years since turning 50, it's just a run out, bnot qualifying for the world cup.
So far we have 6.
@WillD
@jedi_toaster
@Venkman
@Kevsgreat
@Seaham Towny
@Goat Eyes

It would be great to have a game on Sunday from 14:00 till 15:00

@chopsfc007 fancy it?
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I’d say me but I’m on holiday. Bit of a daft date with holidays and that innit?
 
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Ginger John said:
Be good to meet you like. Put me and @look out piano down to cut up the oranges at half time :D
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You've met me, the Gateshead 10k, on the back you had to have a reason for running, I had BEER on mine.

Dave Herbal said:
The dirty ones are on tinder.


I’d say me but I’m on holiday. Bit of a daft date with holidays and that innit?
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I'm ony in Sunderland from the 2nd of August till the 12th.
 
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Ginger John said:
So sorry to hear all that. Have a hug. It's really tough when a relationship breaks down.

Respect your decision on the depression issue but just wanted to say that if you change your mind, please do join us on the depression thread as plenty on there will support you.

Are there any local independant gyms nearby? I've joined one at Birtley which is just run by one lad. It's pretty basic in an industrial unit but what makes it better than all your fancy chain gyms is that the bloke actually cares about people, not just in the gym but helping with diet, emotional issues and all sorts. I'm training there three times a week now and have made some good friends with people I've met there. I'm shy too but once I got over the first couple of sessions, I just felt like I fit in there. Ask around and see if there is a similar set up nearer to you.

Do you go to the match at all? There's a group of us meet up before the match for a natter. You're more than welcome to join us. All very nice people and I've made good friends there too. Shame it's the close season now mind!

I've got free time this weekend if you fancy a natter over a cuppa/pint/walk on the beach etc.
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You're a nice lass like.
 
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