Unintentionally Injuring Yourself

[Tomma]

I've posted this story before, but I like to bring it up every so often to publicly remind myself what a dick I was as a kid:

If you ever have to go to hospital to get a tetanus or whatever because you've got a hole in your foot 'cos you've stood on a rusty nail in a bit of wood on 'the Green', and you've also put a hole in the sole of your brand new Hi-tec Silver Shadow...

... don't come back from the hospital and then, in a gesture of public service, social conscience and six year old fecklessness, go back to 'the Green' to try to push down the nail with your other foot - resulting in a puncture to the other foot / Hi-tec Silver Shadow.

 

[Deleted member 23273]

Late 1990s was on a night out. Discovered that I’d lost my keys. Mrs K was in the USA at the time. Got back home, tried to kick the door in, but was too wankered so smashed a window instead and got in that way. At this point I realised I couldn’t feel my hand. At the same time, my neighbour comes out to see what was going on, see’s my hand and reckons I need an ambulance.
Turned out that by smashing the window I’d severed some tendons and some nerves in my right hand. Needed an operation to repair what they could and ended up in Northampton General Hospital for four days on an antibiotic drip. My hand was strapped up in such a way that it didn’t stretch the tendons that had been stitched together and I was like that for around six weeks.

 

[Kevsgreat]

Walking home from town pissed I ran up the side of the Wearmouth Bridge. I was about 12 foot up when my mate shouted for me to get down so I jumped off onto the path. Thought I'd pulled off the landing no bother but by the time we got to the Colliery Tavern I was in agony. Got a taxi home, slept on it, got up in the morning and fell over when I couldn't put any weight on my foot. Trip to A&E and hours of waiting about to find out I'd cracked a bone in my heel. 6 weeks on crutches for being daft

 

[The Raven]

Was replacing some skirting boards in the last house.

Decided to snap the old ones up to burn in the chiminea.

Put one against the step, stamped on it, one half pivoted up and I got two nails stuck in my thigh.

Tattie.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

One time I was cooking I accidentally knocked the knife off the counter and my instant reaction was to reach and grab it. Grabbed it right on the blade. It wasn't a super deep cut but the fucker wouldn't stop bleeding.

 

[muggboots]

Would be a more interesting thread if it was intentional injuries.

To be honest it mightn't be that funny.

 

[look out piano]

Most recently I pulled a chair out from under the table and the leg took a chunk out of my leg .

 

[safcrhys.]

Put a Stanley knife in my pocket and forgot about it, a few minutes later I just brushed my arm against my leg and ended up with a deep 5 inch long gash just above my wrist.

 

[raindog]

I had a mate who had a knot in his shoe lace and used a penknife to cut it free unfortunately he took out his right eye he was 13 at the time

 

[cornish mackem]

This is how Stallone got a game against the Germans. Intentional injury by Michael Caine on the real keeper

 

[adlenviro]

Opened car door and dropped the keys. Bent down to pick keys up and slipped, took two front teeth clean out on the top of the car door. It hurt.

 

[Jimmer13]

One time I was cooking I accidentally knocked the knife off the counter and my instant reaction was to reach and grab it. Grabbed it right on the blade. It wasn't a super deep cut but the fucker wouldn't stop bleeding.

Moral of the story blade in the hand Ouchie, Let it fall, no catchie....

Most recently I pulled a chair out from under the table and the leg took a chunk out of my leg .

Bloody hell you must have pulled it out with some force like, Ouchie

 

[Italian Outcast]

Late 1990s was on a night out. Discovered that I’d lost my keys. Mrs K was in the USA at the time. Got back home, tried to kick the door in, but was too wankered so smashed a window instead and got in that way. At this point I realised I couldn’t feel my hand. At the same time, my neighbour comes out to see what was going on, see’s my hand and reckons I need an ambulance.
Turned out that by smashing the window I’d severed some tendons and some nerves in my right hand. Needed an operation to repair what they could and ended up in Northampton General Hospital for four days on an antibiotic drip. My hand was strapped up in such a way that it didn’t stretch the tendons that had been stitched together and I was like that for around six weeks.

I assume you told Mrs K to have an extra 6 weeks holiday - as its a once in a life-time experience !

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Moral of the story blade in the hand Ouchie, Let it fall, no catchie....




Bloody hell you must have pulled it out with some force like, Ouchie

It happened again and I did reach for it but pulled my hand at the last minute remembering my previous error

 

[tunstall birdman]

Punched myself in the face however that was intentional as I wanted attention.

That was some thread.

 

[Fred Basset]

Crashed into someone in a cyclocross race after only about 3 minutes. Wiped us both out. My fault entirely. Tried to jump back onto my bike, only for my knee to give way. Couple of dozen nettle stings and a knackered knee and ankle were dulled pretty quick by the adrenalin. Raced for another 45 minutes, coming off another 2 times. 5 minutes after the race, the pain returned. Nettle stings hurt for a few hours, ankle knacked for a week, but my knee after three and a half weeks, is still very weak, though now usable.
Other stuff ? About 4 years ago i fell off my bike at Hartlepool Marina, and smashed my head off the deck. Smashed my helmet and after lying on the road for about 10 minutes, was still seeing stars. Vertigo at the time and a few episodes since. On the bright side, i've never broken a bone, so consider myself fortunate.

Never thought about a cycling proficiency test, mate?

 

[mux]

Chopped the end of my finger off with one of them daft potato peeler things

It grew back thankfully!

 

[Dennis]

I went to my works night out, 1st time I'd had a free bar, think Homer Simpson at the seafood buffet. Anyway, got a taxi home, stumbled and cracked my head on the corner of the house. Woke my lass up and she vomited. Then drove me to hospital. 13 stitches, all down the middle of my heed

 

[Bollotti]

Cut the end of my thumb off whilst chopping carrots pissed, on Christmas Day

 

[Jimmer13]

It happened again and I did reach for it but pulled my hand at the last minute remembering my previous error

Lol....see and there is where common sense and life experiences kick in........but second attempt?

Were you dropped on the head as a baby...... Catchie catchie with knifey

That is where we differ from lasses they:

1. Would not knock it or drop it.
2. Would not entertain trying to catch
a falling knife
3. Would have purchased a better
balanced knife from the off!