Bernard Manning

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Luca said:
Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

'Seriously folks, I didn't mean that. My grandfather died at Auschwitz' - crowd goes quite - 'very sad. He fell out of the machine gun tower'.

Man says to his wife: 'Pack your bags, I've won the Lottery.' She says: 'What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?' He says: 'We're going nowhere. Just pack your bags and fuck off.

There's two fellas running down the road "help! help! a lions escaped"
A passerby said "which way did it go?"
One of the fellas says "you stupid ****, you don't think we're fuckin chasing it do ya????"

"I see they've found Donald Campbell's body - it came out of a tap in Huddersfield!"

Racist? Bigoted? Unpleasant? No, just a keen and very funny observer of human life.
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There's not one funny joke in the examples you've quoted there like.
 


Luca said:
Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

'Seriously folks, I didn't mean that. My grandfather died at Auschwitz' - crowd goes quite - 'very sad. He fell out of the machine gun tower'.

Man says to his wife: 'Pack your bags, I've won the Lottery.' She says: 'What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?' He says: 'We're going nowhere. Just pack your bags and fuck off.

There's two fellas running down the road "help! help! a lions escaped"
A passerby said "which way did it go?"
One of the fellas says "you stupid ****, you don't think we're fuckin chasing it do ya????"

"I see they've found Donald Campbell's body - it came out of a tap in Huddersfield!"

Racist? Bigoted? Unpleasant? No, just a keen and very funny observer of human life.
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Yeah, I get that. I know loads of people with similar senses of humour that don't mean any harm.

He went close to the edge with what he said but I would imagine most people of his time had similar mindsets.
 
Keawyeds said:
I'm not like, I just don't think old racist fat knackers are funny. It's called having comedy standards
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Of course he was funny. Look I know it's not what you want to hear but you could get away with saying what he did back then. My Granda used to call Gary Bennett 'The black bomber' and people darkies. If he did now he would be frowned upon. Should I say he was a wanker for that?
 
Seen him at the Empire mid 80's (??) a few days after Leonard Rossiter had died. "My mate, Leonard Rossiter, died the other day. Fitness mad he was, never drank, never smoked, jogged five miles every day and dropped down dead in his fifties". BM took a big drag of his cigar, and downed 3/4 of a pint and said "You can't treat your body like that":lol:
 
Left Breathless said:
Of course he was funny. Look I know it's not what you want to hear but you could get away with saying what he did back then. My Granda used to call Gary Bennett 'The black bomber' and people darkies. If he did now he would be frowned upon. Should I say he was a wanker for that?
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Depends if you want him to give ya a clip.
 
ilovehorswill said:
I remember him being on Terry Wogan with Craig Charles.

They had a bowl of jelly babies and the tubby japester chortled "Mind he don't eat a black one, he'll chew his finger off"
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that is quite amusing but is it actually racist?
 
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