What age do you stop buying for relatives (kids) at Christmas/Birthdays?

[I am a reindeer]

Nephews and nieces I'd say you get them presents until they have a full time job. When they're working full time and living at home they definitely don't need anything! Take them for a pint when you see them would be about the extent of it for me

I have wondered this actually. I can well imagine the older ones having more money than we do now they are working!

It's just the awkwardness of, say, one being 21 and we stop buying for them and younger siblings are like 15 and 17 and we do. Does the older one not feel left out?

 

[Guinness Guzzler]

I have wondered this actually. I can well imagine the older ones having more money than we do now they are working!

It's just the awkwardness of, say, one being 21 and we stop buying for them and younger siblings are like 15 and 17 and we do. Does the older one not feel left out?

Think it's just a case of how you word it tbh. By that age you'd like to think they're old enough to understand that kids get some stuff they don't. Can just tell them that you don't think they need a present since they're making decent money. Plus you can mention that they got 21 years of it which is all the others will get, so they're not getting favours. Most decent 21 year olds would be absolutely fine with that tbh

 

[JAZZMANB]

18 And only my nieces and nephews not their kids etc when they appear

I have wondered this actually. I can well imagine the older ones having more money than we do now they are working!

It's just the awkwardness of, say, one being 21 and we stop buying for them and younger siblings are like 15 and 17 and we do. Does the older one not feel left out?

My son got told by me and by his aunties and uncles once he turned 18 that was it ,just little comment the odd time before he reached it
"this will be your last year ... "
He was ok with that ,he's did ok up to that point

 

[TAD]

Gidkids - We give ours quite a bit of cash for their 18th but tell them that's it. Neices and nephews well keep giving if they still studying Discovered if you don't draw a line you go on forever. If any have younger siblings and will be there on Xmas day when the siblings have their presents then we'll get a token large bar of chocolate or socks.

 

[I am a reindeer]

Gidkids - We give ours quite a bit of cash for their 18th but tell them that's it. Neices and nephews well keep giving if they still studying Discovered if you don't draw a line you go on forever. If any have younger siblings and will be there on Xmas day when the siblings have their presents then we'll get a token large bar of chocolate or socks.

This is a nice idea.

Think it's just a case of how you word it tbh. By that age you'd like to think they're old enough to understand that kids get some stuff they don't. Can just tell them that you don't think they need a present since they're making decent money. Plus you can mention that they got 21 years of it which is all the others will get, so they're not getting favours. Most decent 21 year olds would be absolutely fine with that tbh

Good advice, thank you.

 

[MickeyV]

Teenagers get a banknote. My and her siblings get something nice to consume. Little kids get something they're interested in. We buy each other a secret treat for us both to enjoy (tickets for Lizz Wright at Cadogan Hall this year for her). Then we buy ourselves something indulgent for ourselves, so when we open them with the kids on the morning, everybody is surprised but us and we get something we want rather than something random. Santa is bringing me a cigar-box guitar thus year. He really is a good lad!

 

[ATS]

18 for us, not sure if it was ever discussed, it's just always happened.

 

[Leon Solent]

Growing up, my mam was 1 of 15 and my dad was 1 of 5 so there were a lot (too many) of relatives around. We never started buying presents for each other and we've kept that tradition going. Simple recognition of the occasion is the important thing. Now, it's only my adult children and grandchild that I get a gift for.
Much simpler to de-escalate Christmas and free people from the burden of tit-for-tat gift buying. Their thoughts and good wishes are enough.

 

[mysticmackem]

18 is when it ends.

 

[HorsePills]

Gidkids - We give ours quite a bit of cash for their 18th but tell them that's it. Neices and nephews well keep giving if they still studying Discovered if you don't draw a line you go on forever. If any have younger siblings and will be there on Xmas day when the siblings have their presents then we'll get a token large bar of chocolate or socks.

I'm 40 and my Nana will still put money in a card for me. I told her she didn't have to but she does it anyway. 9 grandkids (plus five partners) and 3 great-grandkids, she won't leave anyone out. These cards will be costing her a fortune.

 

[safc9450]

Just give them a selection box, an apple , bag of hazel nuts and a Beano annual .That's all i ever got, so 4ukem !

 

[ivanthereasonable]

Or do you buy forever more?

Got nieces and nephews of all ages in our family but some are now well into adulthood with full time jobs, all living at home, however they have younger siblings who are still just kids.

Is it right to stop buying for the eldest (adult) ones, but keep buying for the younger ones until they reach a certain age like 18 or 21? I'm sure my relatives stopped buying for me around those ages.

It's just hard to know what to do.

Do what suits you. You don't need to justify your actions or preferences to all but your very nearest and dearest.

 

[i am will]

I have wondered this actually. I can well imagine the older ones having more money than we do now they are working!

It's just the awkwardness of, say, one being 21 and we stop buying for them and younger siblings are like 15 and 17 and we do. Does the older one not feel left out?

We stopped when niece and nephew got to 18 but still did for their 21sts.
On the awkwardness point, the oldest has to remember they were getting presents when siblings weren't there, so will still get same amount overall

 

[smoker]

Or do you buy forever more?

Got nieces and nephews of all ages in our family but some are now well into adulthood with full time jobs, all living at home, however they have younger siblings who are still just kids.

Is it right to stop buying for the eldest (adult) ones, but keep buying for the younger ones until they reach a certain age like 18 or 21? I'm sure my relatives stopped buying for me around those ages.

It's just hard to know what to do.

Just give them a gift voucher for a few years until they say you don't need to bother.

 

[Tex]

I switched to just putting money into a card a long time ago, but I still give to all my nieces. The oldest is now 35. I'll stop when they have kids of their own.

This for me too KARB.

Our Jen (niece) said she appreciated the thought but in her thirties I really didn’t need to keep sending her money then she had a bairn which made it easy I just tell her it’s for the bairn now!

 

[Harry Gates]

I'm in this situation this year, my mate had twins and i said i'm buying till they leave school.

Spunky Get then has another three years later so twinnies have had "three for free".

 

[pinewaves1868]

When I started drinking seriously. Unless you mean them? When they started drinking. So about what, say...twelve or thirteen.

 

[TAD]

I'm in this situation this year, my mate had twins and i said i'm buying till they leave school.

Spunky Get then has another three years later so twinnies have had "three for free".

Made this mistake when my friends has the first lot of kids. It costs nowt when they babies and stuff you but is cute but bloody expensive when they get up a bit. Soon stopped buying for friends kids . Only by for nephews and godchildren (which also means godchildrens siblings).

 

[PJH]

Anyone expecting a present beyond 18 needs a slap. After that just whoever you also buy presents for either with an agreed limit or just unsaid understanding of presents being the best a person's financial situation can afford.