• The first stage of the forum upgrades has now been completed but they remain in a degraded state and are still being worked on. Normal posting/reading should now be possible.
    Please read this thread for more details.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.

SMB Film Thread 2025

Status
Not open for further replies.
Albay3037 said:
The Gardener (2025)

French made film starring the outstanding acting powerhouse that is Jean Claude Van Dame. An inept French Minister is targeted for assassination by French Prime Minister but is saved by his gardener, who just happens to be an ex-special forces operative. Now I didn't expect much with Van Dame but even he couldn't save this dire film. All the voices (including Van Dame's) were dubbed. Because my wife is hard of hearing we watched this with the sub titles on and I wasn't sure if it was intentional but most of the time the subtitles didn't match what was being "said - For example there was a scene where one of the evil henchmen is shot in the foot and he screams "Motherfucker! You shot me in the foot" but what the subtitles said was "Shit! That hurt!"

Definite contender for worst movie of the year.

0.5/10
Click to expand...

Steady now, it's 11 months before we give that award out
 

Elevation, on prime. Very Quiet Place vibes about it and definitely trying to set up a sequel. 5/10. Passed 90 minutes.
 
Albay3037 said:
The Gardener (2025)

French made film starring the outstanding acting powerhouse that is Jean Claude Van Dame. An inept French Minister is targeted for assassination by French Prime Minister but is saved by his gardener, who just happens to be an ex-special forces operative. Now I didn't expect much with Van Dame but even he couldn't save this dire film. All the voices (including Van Dame's) were dubbed. Because my wife is hard of hearing we watched this with the sub titles on and I wasn't sure if it was intentional but most of the time the subtitles didn't match what was being "said - For example there was a scene where one of the evil henchmen is shot in the foot and he screams "Motherfucker! You shot me in the foot" but what the subtitles said was "Shit! That hurt!"

Definite contender for worst movie of the year.

0.5/10
Click to expand...
You’ve not seen Gladiator 2 have you?
 
Gladiator 2 (2024) - 6.5/10 - Fully expected this to be absolute shite after reading some reviews but it was an easy watch. Nothing flash and a bit daft at times but reasonable albeit historically inaccurate in a lot of places. A good cast and decent acting.

Total coincidence that I posted this just now given the post above! :lol:
 
Last edited:
Captain America, the new one. Watched with my wife in China and should say the Chinese are not happy they used a Japanese anime company as a partner for some parts of this and that anime company used some awful references to atrocities against Chinese in WW2. It won't do well in China and doesn't deserve to because it is lifeless and badly cast. Probably the most boring villain I've ever seen in superhero movies. Marvel needs to call a halt and stop for a reboot. 3/10.
 
Godzilla Minus One (2023)

I saw this at the cinema and remember that the first reel was blurred, so it was nice to see it properly.

As a genre film, it’s excellent. It’s barely a kaiju film, but the monster bits are extremely well done and memorable. Take note, Godzilla x Kong. There’s a real sense of menace and scale to the scenes involving the Big G.

Fundamentally, it’s not a film about Godzilla. It’s about national identity, the ethics of service, courage, guilt and redemption. It’s about people thrown together after a nightmare and trying to rebuild their lives.

There’s some great character growth. The male lead fights a war in his head until he realised that bravery and service doesn’t have to translate to suicide. The female lead despairs but doesn’t give up hope that he’ll want the family they’ve assembled. There’s some lovely support from the neighbour and the boat team.

The sense of time and place is expertly achieved. It could be a film just about postwar Japan. Replace Godzilla with a natural disaster and the themes still work. He’s got no personality - he’s a faceless threat, like a tornado. It’s all very deliberate, in order to present a character piece.

It’s a very fine film even without the kaiju stuff. The kaiju scenes are sparse and impactful. As such, will find the film boring. It’s not a monster mash-up like the Hollywood ones. If the characters hook you, then it’s a winner. If they don’t, it'll bore the shit out of you.

9/10 from me.

Noticed afterwards that Netflix have the black and white version on. I’ll watch that properly at some point. I watched a few scenes and it looks brilliant. I know it wasn’t filmed with shadows and black and white cinematography in mind, so it’s literally a conversion of what’s on screen without much artistic consideration for the medium, but it added even more raw grittiness to the narrative.
 
The Gorge 2025. If Anya Taylor Joy in tight black outfits and sporting a ludicrous East European accent is your wank fantasy you might enjoy this truly awful Z movie. Monsters in a gorge, East and West soldiers keep monsters down below then start a romance. The drumming scene is the worst moment in modern cinema. Absolute shite of the highest order. 0/10.
 
craigypants said:
The Gorge 2025. If Anya Taylor Joy in tight black outfits and sporting a ludicrous East European accent is your wank fantasy you might enjoy this truly awful Z movie. Monsters in a gorge, East and West soldiers keep monsters down below then start a romance. The drumming scene is the worst moment in modern cinema. Absolute shite of the highest order. 0/10.
Click to expand...
Don't sit on the fence, mate. 😂
 
craigypants said:
The Gorge 2025. If Anya Taylor Joy in tight black outfits and sporting a ludicrous East European accent is your wank fantasy you might enjoy this truly awful Z movie. Monsters in a gorge, East and West soldiers keep monsters down below then start a romance. The drumming scene is the worst moment in modern cinema. Absolute shite of the highest order. 0/10.
Click to expand...
I think I need to see this.
 
The Order, 2024. Jude Law and Nicholas Hoult. The FBI investigate the rise of a far right white supremacist terror group in rural America. Started well then faded for me. Still good just thought it was going to be better. 7/10.
 
Shirley (2024) Biopic of Shirley Chisholm the first black woman to be elected to congress and also attempted to run for president. A Strong willed woman who refused to accept the status quo. Very strong performance by Regina King. One of Lance Reddick’s films before he died and the last film Terrance Howard made before he retired. 7/10
 
Last edited:
craigypants said:
The Gorge 2025. If Anya Taylor Joy in tight black outfits and sporting a ludicrous East European accent is your wank fantasy you might enjoy this truly awful Z movie. Monsters in a gorge, East and West soldiers keep monsters down below then start a romance. The drumming scene is the worst moment in modern cinema. Absolute shite of the highest order. 0/10.
Click to expand...

It’s a lot worse than that
 
Bridget Jones's Gaping Fanny

Ok, I’ll admit it, it was alright. There’s a joke in it about Botox that I felt was a bit too on the nose (lips) considering the state of Zelweggers face but I felt it was a “nice” film with no obvious reasons to hate it.

Hugh Grant as always steals the show.


And, it’s left me feeling incredibly aware of my age.
 
Emilia Perez on Netflix

Multi Oscar nominated musical extravaganza about a transgendered cartel leader in Mexico City. Boldly ambitious, completely original and really compelling throughout. Zoë Saldana was incredible. Seen a few other of Jacques Audiard's films, and he's certainly a one of a kind auteur, though his films can be a bit Marmite.

7.5/10


Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy

This way exceeded my expectations. I'm always sceptical of reboots of old well-loved franchises, assuming they're just the studios' way of churning out cash cows that they know they can sell tickets for, no matter how average the film (see the Aliens/Ghostbusters/Indiana Jones/Jurassic Park franchises). This was actually genuinely funny with some really touching moments. Yeah, it was clearly making references left, right and centre to the previous films, but they never got in the way of this film being its own thing.

8/10
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top