SMB Chat Buddies

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becs

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This thread is inspired by several things.

At the Game of II Halves conference, a man spoke about loneliness and his chat buddy. Several traumatic things happened to him and unfortunately, he ended up on his own. His chat buddy rings regularly, and they talk about all sorts of random things which helps his loneliness.

On the depression thread, some people have mentioned that they have hesitated to post as they feel their problem is too small or too trivial and are unsure if that thread is the right place for it. No problem is too small and if it’s bothering you, it’s worth talking about rather than stewing on it. Just talking can feel like a weight lifted and can help you find a solution.

Lastly, I’m a great believer in a five-minute rant! If something or everything is getting you down, it’s amazing how much better you feel after a good rant.

With all of that in mind, I thought I’d start this thread for anyone who wants a chat or a rant. If you’re feeling lonely, have a problem you want to share or just want to rant because you’ve had a really shit day, then here’s a safe place to do it.
 


becs said:
This thread is inspired by several things.

At the Game of II Halves conference, a man spoke about loneliness and his chat buddy. Several traumatic things happened to him and unfortunately, he ended up on his own. His chat buddy rings regularly, and they talk about all sorts of random things which helps his loneliness.

On the depression thread, some people have mentioned that they have hesitated to post as they feel their problem is too small or too trivial and are unsure if that thread is the right place for it. No problem is too small and if it’s bothering you, it’s worth talking about rather than stewing on it. Just talking can feel like a weight lifted and can help you find a solution.

Lastly, I’m a great believer in a five-minute rant! If something or everything is getting you down, it’s amazing how much better you feel after a good rant.

With all of that in mind, I thought I’d start this thread for anyone who wants a chat or a rant. If you’re feeling lonely, have a problem you want to share or just want to rant because you’ve had a really shit day, then here’s a safe place to do it.
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Excellent post loneliness is an awful thing.
 
becs said:
Where do you want to start with that? Home? Job? Work? Hobbies? Something else?

This afternoon was shite like but at least we get a break from that after Friday.
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Depends on what day, somedays work somedays family someday neither or both. Just feel like all I do is graft if its not work it looking after me bairns then sleep and repeat.

I'm just having a bad day really tomorrow I'll be ok, I hope.
 
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Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Depends on what day, somedays work somedays family someday neither or both. Just feel like all I do is graft if its not work it looking after me bairns then sleep and repeat.

I'm just having a bad day really tomorrow I'll be ok, I hope.
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I have days and weeks like that. The one thing I found that helps is to talk to your other half about it (if you have one) and to try different things to break the routine
 
chunksafc said:
I have days and weeks like that. The one thing I found that helps is to talk to your other half about it (if you have one) and to try different things to break the routine
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No point mate however bad I have it I get little to no sympathy. Not her fault like she just doesn't know how to deal with it when I'm down.
 
Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Depends on what day, somedays work somedays family someday neither or both. Just feel like all I do is graft if its not work it looking after me bairns then sleep and repeat.

I'm just having a bad day really tomorrow I'll be ok, I hope.
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Can you find some spare time everyday and do something just for you? Even if it's just 10 mins when you spend time just focussing on yourself can help. Doesn't have to be anything extravagant. I like to do a jigsaw online to relax Jigsaw Planet
 
Pseudonym Number 1 said:
No point mate however bad I have it I get little to no sympathy. Not her fault like she just doesn't know how to deal with it when I'm down.
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Have you tried talking to her about your 'down' feelings and tried helping her deal with them?

I struggled for a while dealing with my down days, but talking and getting my other half to understand how things affected me really helped us.
 
Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Good sleep has really helped, feeling much better today. Challenged my self to do a job I've been putting off for weeks due to fear and seem like I've managed it ok.

Weird how one day you're in the gutter feeling like shit the next your back on an even keel.
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Sleep is important to repair and restore your body and mind overnight. People think of good health as eating a healthy diet, bit of exercise etc., but the importance of sleep is often overlooked.

Well done for doing the job 😎
 
Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Good sleep has really helped, feeling much better today. Challenged my self to do a job I've been putting off for weeks due to fear and seem like I've managed it ok.

Weird how one day you're in the gutter feeling like shit the next your back on an even keel.
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If you ever need anybody to "talk" to or sound off to, I'm only ever a message away, marra. I'm a great "listener" and non-judgemental and it's sometimes good to have a rant to a complete stranger. I have loads of time on my hands, if you need a sounding board.

I'm a proper happy clapper though, apparently so expect "upbeat" from me, at all times. 😁
 
I volunteered for Samaritans for a few years. I’m not going to say anything about the calls I dealt with, but I will say that there is a particular skill-set that applies - whether that’s via written communication, telephone or face-to-face.

Perhaps equally important is the training, guidance and (crucially) support (post shift support, confidential debrief, information for signposting etc) that’s afforded to volunteers of such organisations. Sometimes what appears to be simply providing a ‘listening ear’ can, in reality, be quite a difficult experience for the person providing it.

Although I’m pretty confident that a thread on this message board is highly unlikely to turn into anything too challenging, please be careful when offering to be a support to a relative stranger. The fact that it’s a stranger is a very often a powerful way of enabling connection that wouldn’t otherwise be available. And that can prove difficult. So listeners and rant-responders; take care please.
 
George Kaplan said:
I volunteered for Samaritans for a few years. I’m not going to say anything about the calls I dealt with, but I will say that there is a particular skill-set that applies - whether that’s via written communication, telephone or face-to-face.

Perhaps equally important is the training, guidance and (crucially) support (post shift support, confidential debrief, information for signposting etc) that’s afforded to volunteers of such organisations. Sometimes what appears to be simply providing a ‘listening ear’ can, in reality, be quite a difficult experience for the person providing it.

Although I’m pretty confident that a thread on this message board is highly unlikely to turn into anything too challenging, please be careful when offering to be a support to a relative stranger. The fact that it’s a stranger is a very often a powerful way of enabling connection that wouldn’t otherwise be available. And that can prove difficult. So listeners and rant-responders; take care please.
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That is a very good post and some very good advice.

to deflect from my problems, I used too and still do that to a degree, take on other people's problems. It was easier to help others than to deal with my own issues, but it then ended up making me worse as it became another way for me to avoid my ills.

I have so much respect for the people who offer to lend an ear and help and this idea for this thread by Becs is fantastic, but you do bring up an important point too.

A safe place to rant and let of steam is going to be very handy mind!
 
George Kaplan said:
I volunteered for Samaritans for a few years. I’m not going to say anything about the calls I dealt with, but I will say that there is a particular skill-set that applies - whether that’s via written communication, telephone or face-to-face.

Perhaps equally important is the training, guidance and (crucially) support (post shift support, confidential debrief, information for signposting etc) that’s afforded to volunteers of such organisations. Sometimes what appears to be simply providing a ‘listening ear’ can, in reality, be quite a difficult experience for the person providing it.

Although I’m pretty confident that a thread on this message board is highly unlikely to turn into anything too challenging, please be careful when offering to be a support to a relative stranger. The fact that it’s a stranger is a very often a powerful way of enabling connection that wouldn’t otherwise be available. And that can prove difficult. So listeners and rant-responders; take care please.
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I hear what you're saying and fully agree but, having worked as a mentor and support to disaffected students in mainstream education and to a lesser extent, to adults in an adult learning centre, I don't offer my "ear" completely blindly.
 
George Kaplan said:
I volunteered for Samaritans for a few years. I’m not going to say anything about the calls I dealt with, but I will say that there is a particular skill-set that applies - whether that’s via written communication, telephone or face-to-face.

Perhaps equally important is the training, guidance and (crucially) support (post shift support, confidential debrief, information for signposting etc) that’s afforded to volunteers of such organisations. Sometimes what appears to be simply providing a ‘listening ear’ can, in reality, be quite a difficult experience for the person providing it.

Although I’m pretty confident that a thread on this message board is highly unlikely to turn into anything too challenging, please be careful when offering to be a support to a relative stranger. The fact that it’s a stranger is a very often a powerful way of enabling connection that wouldn’t otherwise be available. And that can prove difficult. So listeners and rant-responders; take care please.
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Aye, I have recently learned that I am not cut out for offering advice to people. Good intentions ending badly.
 

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