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Roy Keane

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For fuck sake you useless f***ing ball sacks. We’ve got another game on Saturday. We’re in massive danger of f***ing up the entire season in the space of a week. A manager needs to be in place BEFORE Saturday and at least have a couple of sessions with the players in advance. You’ve now had approaching 10 days to sort this shit out.

APPOINT A BASTARD MANAGER.
 

HoxtonMackem said:
My guess would be:

  1. Club never intended to get Keane (They had Mccann or someone else entirely in mind)
  2. Keane has expressed interest and has approached club
  3. Club thinking 'We don't want him but we'll have speak to him anyway'
  4. Us fans want Keane
  5. Club have been unable to contain the media speculation about Keane (due to total inexperience/incompetence of dealing with a story about a personality of that stature)
  6. Club have thought 'Oh shit, better open negotiations'
  7. They have also thought 'It's okay, we can save this, let's play him along'
  8. 'Oh shit, he's just more or less announced to the public on TV that he feels the job is almost his due to our piss poor tactics ballsing up'
  9. Us fans getting massively excited at the prospect of a legend coming back to sort us out
  10. 'It's okay KLD, I (Speakman) will downplay it at the game tomorrow against Doncaster on SAFC fans TV announcing we are still carrying out our process, that will surely buy us time, as should an easy win today, I have faith in Dodds and Proctor.'
  11. 'Shit, getting pasted by doncaster hasn't helped'
  12. 'Oh bugger, Keane has again dropped a huge hint to fans that he feels he is frontrunner today on TV'
  13. 'Don't say anything for a few days, we can ride this out, the fans will be able to cope with it a week more. We'll avoid getting beat at Cheltenham Tuesday night, a different team should be okay to do a job.'
  14. 'KLD, we've just been pasted by Cheltenham, I don't know what we should do, I'll ask Davison, Methven and Donald'
  15. 'KLD, it's now Wednesday, 10 days since we have sacked Johnson and I've asked around and no one has a clue - I say we leave it until next week until fan anger has cooled then we'll get our man in, Keane will walk away, job done'.
Click to expand...

I think you're probably right up to 12.
 
Sweeper said:
Because the club is run by unqualified, incompetent morons - who are no doubt too busy running around the place screaming "what do we do" to think about PR.
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If Keane hasn't already walked away, I'd imagine he would be telling them 'tell me by X day this week if the job is mine or not' and they are shitting themselves in a frenzy not knowing what to do or something like that, just hiding away.

It's embarrassing
 
HoxtonMackem said:
My guess would be:

  1. Club never intended to get Keane (They had Mccann or someone else entirely in mind)
  2. Keane has expressed interest and has approached club
  3. Club thinking 'We don't want him but we'll have speak to him anyway'
  4. Us fans want Keane
  5. Club have been unable to contain the media speculation about Keane (due to total inexperience/incompetence of dealing with a story about a personality of that stature)
  6. Club have thought 'Oh shit, better open negotiations'
  7. They have also thought 'It's okay, we can save this, let's play him along'
  8. 'Oh shit, he's just more or less announced to the public on TV that he feels the job is almost his due to our piss poor tactics ballsing up'
  9. Us fans getting massively excited at the prospect of a legend coming back to sort us out
  10. 'It's okay KLD, I (Speakman) will downplay it at the game tomorrow against Doncaster on SAFC fans TV announcing we are still carrying out our process, that will surely buy us time, as should an easy win today, I have faith in Dodds and Proctor.'
  11. 'Shit, getting pasted by doncaster hasn't helped'
  12. 'Oh bugger, Keane has again dropped a huge hint to fans that he feels he is frontrunner today on TV'
  13. 'Don't say anything for a few days, we can ride this out, the fans will be able to cope with it a week more. We'll avoid getting beat at Cheltenham Tuesday night, a different team should be okay to do a job.'
  14. 'KLD, we've just been pasted by Cheltenham, I don't know what we should do, I'll ask Davison, Methven and Donald'
  15. 'KLD, it's now Wednesday, 10 days since we have sacked Johnson and I've asked around and no one has a clue - I say we leave it until next week until fan anger has cooled then we'll get our man in, Keane will walk away, job done'.
Click to expand...

The problem with this theory is KLD liked an instagram post about Keane being the club's favourite early on. He literally fuelled the fire... and now the shit storm.
 
HoxtonMackem said:
My guess would be:

  1. Club never intended to get Keane (They had Mccann or someone else entirely in mind)
  2. Keane has expressed interest and has approached club
  3. Club thinking 'We don't want him but we'll have speak to him anyway'
  4. Us fans want Keane
  5. Club have been unable to contain the media speculation about Keane (due to total inexperience/incompetence of dealing with a story about a personality of that stature)
  6. Club have thought 'Oh shit, better open negotiations'
  7. They have also thought 'It's okay, we can save this, let's play him along'
  8. 'Oh shit, he's just more or less announced to the public on TV that he feels the job is almost his due to our piss poor tactics ballsing up'
  9. Us fans getting massively excited at the prospect of a legend coming back to sort us out
  10. 'It's okay KLD, I (Speakman) will downplay it at the game tomorrow against Doncaster on SAFC fans TV announcing we are still carrying out our process, that will surely buy us time, as should an easy win today, I have faith in Dodds and Proctor.'
  11. 'Shit, getting pasted by doncaster hasn't helped'
  12. 'Oh bugger, Keane has again dropped a huge hint to fans that he feels he is frontrunner today on TV'
  13. 'Don't say anything for a few days, we can ride this out, the fans will be able to cope with it a week more. We'll avoid getting beat at Cheltenham Tuesday night, a different team should be okay to do a job.'
  14. 'KLD, we've just been pasted by Cheltenham, I don't know what we should do, I'll ask Davison, Methven and Donald'
  15. 'KLD, it's now Wednesday, 10 days since we have sacked Johnson and I've asked around and no one has a clue - I say we leave it until next week until fan anger has cooled then we'll get our man in, Keane will walk away, job done'.
Click to expand...

I can imagine this, only bit I can’t fit in is KLD liking the post about Keane being the frontrunner on instagram.
 
Plank said:
Speakman will be dribbling on himself with his thumb up his arse man. Be sat with a massive hard on over Lennons 4 slide PowerPoint presentation the f***ing prick
Click to expand...
I mean, if it has the fades and transitions that were all the rage in the 90 I’d understand why.
 
johnnyat87 said:
The problem with this theory is KLD liked an instagram post about Keane being the club's favourite early on. He literally fuelled the fire... and now the shit storm.
Click to expand...
KLD could have been the only person wanting Keane and the other 3/4 are massively against it.

Either way foolish to like his post and not subsequently take back the 'like'.
 
At this point a "safe pair of hands" in someone like Alex Neil would not go amiss. Maybe thats the plan, drag it out just a bit longer to reset expectations.
 
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