Georgewhitt
Winger
Internet providers that tell you to visit their website for advice..........when your fuckin internet isn't fuckin working.
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And then offer you a git card rather than a refundInternet providers that tell you to visit their website for advice..........when your fuckin internet isn't fuckin working.
Key boards with the letters too close together. Batard thingsAnd then offer you a git card rather than a refund
Sorry pal, was an open goalKey boards with the letters too close together. Batard things
Ah knar marra.Sorry pal, was an open goal
People who don’t get this philosophy. Really minor annoyanceAh knar marra.
You may have noticed my philosophy is, if I take the piss, only fair when it comes back marra.![]()
I used to have a passat that for some unkown reason would set an alarm off as you were driving along , used to have to give the dash a sharp slap in just the right spot and it would stop . Used to shit passagers right upIf my car didn't rattle I'd think summat was wrang.
265000 mile dog bus.
Sometimes the windows work, sometimes they dont. Depends what mood its in.
Open the door, and the radio gans off.![]()
Love cars with a bit of character.I used to have a passat that for some unkown reason would set an alarm off as you were driving along , used to have to give the dash a sharp slap in just the right spot and it would stop . Used to shit passagers right up![]()
Got some brilliant driving tales.People who keep talking about f***ing cars and driving and stuff
Ive had a few quirky cheap machines to get by when i was skint , 2 without heaters . That was fun one year in the big freeze the doors froze up and wouldnt latch so the got in and lashed them both together from the inside and drove it to work till it got hot and the locks sprung . One used to leak from somewhere and you literally got a puddle in the passanger footwell that deep it would slop about . Another used to intermittently " kangaroo" when you were pulling out into roundabouts .Love cars with a bit of character.
Used to hate this thing I use for the dog, but have built a kind of understanding with it now.
Just makes me smile when it does stuff.![]()
It's hard enough when they are coming towards you, but overtaking a threepack of chatties, while avoiding the oncoming fast lane means you have put the clappers on like Mark Spitz to complete the move. So much so that you're absolutely goosed by the end of the length. Meaning you catch your breath, let the chatties turn, and you have to repeat the manoeuvre.Ah. We’re doing swimming pool etiquette now. I could chunter meaninglessly about this for hours.
My wife and I frequent a golf club pool, which is all that’s available nearby but is great because it also has a gym and a great cafe and guest passes for family members are often available. If only I played golf it’d be perfect. There’s a sauna, a steam room and a jacuzzi anarl
The pool attendance is typically retiree apart from the pre-workday youngsters in their 40s
I’m not exactly a human torpedo in the water and I avoid the fast lane. But it’s a single depth pool which can accommodate the schedule for aquarobics and kiddies sessions too
But the chatty walking up and down brigade are a minor annoyance. I attended later that I normally do one day and discovered that the post-nine-o-clock (coz it’s cheaper) brigade congregate in larger groups than the two or three chatters who stroll up and down when I’m usually in.
They are just as oblivious to the space they’re filling but it’s like a wall of flesh and liver spots trundling towards you that you to weave your way around.
The bloke swimming in the fast lane next to me referred to them as ‘the white walkers’ in the locker room afterwards.
It's hard enough when they are coming towards you, but overtaking a threepack of chatties, while avoiding the oncoming fast lane means you have put the clappers on like Mark Spitz to complete the move. So much so that you're absolutely goosed by the end of the length. Meaning you catch your breath, let the chatties turn, and you have to repeat the manoeuvre.
I stopped going to one pool because of it and even stooped to shamefully complain about it to a shrugging attendant.
Arthur Fuckwitt is a tremendous name. I know it’s not real. But it would be great if it was.When you get a work email along the likes of
“Congratulations to Arthur Fuckwitt who has just been promoted to Senior Project Manager …”
… after which your ‘In’ box is flooded with competitive brown-nosers sending emails along the likes of “Well done Arthur”, “Way to go Arthur” etc because they replied ‘all users’.
I mean how friggin thick do you have to be? Or do they think they’re getting some kind of loyalty points for publically congratulating the lad rather than sending him an IM or personal email whatever?
My English Lit teacher swore blind that he once had a pupil called Ophelia BottArthur Fuckwitt is a tremendous name. I know it’s not real. But it would be great if it was.
Many years ago there was a lad who was called Dick Slot. That’s a great name too
I knew a Dick Twitchen...My English Lit teacher swore blind that he once had a pupil called Ophelia Bott
I had an English teacher like thatMy English Lit teacher swore blind that he once had a pupil called Ophelia Bott
When we were expecting our third bairn money was tight so I ended up with a very old ford escort. Some kind of assisted braking but the engine would cut out randomly. One Sunday evening we'd been to my parents for dinner, I was half cut and as wife pulled down onto to our hilly drive the engine cut and she drove straight through the garage doorIve had a few quirky cheap machines to get by when i was skint , 2 without heaters . That was fun one year in the big freeze the doors froze up and wouldnt latch so the got in and lashed them both together from the inside and drove it to work till it got hot and the locks sprung . One used to leak from somewhere and you literally got a puddle in the passanger footwell that deep it would slop about . Another used to intermittently " kangaroo" when you were pulling out into roundabouts .
Character used to be par fir the course for motors, I've drove some right dodgy crates over the years when i had to