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Really minor annoyances


The Enzo Le Fee song should have a last line that rhymes with ‘understand’.

Too many people sing ‘he hates the Boro we know he’s gonna score’ instead of ‘he gets the ball, you know he’s gonna score’ for the Wilson song and that’s only gonna get more prevalent after Monday’
 
DBStar said:
People who buy massive fuck off cars they can barely control, but then swing in to oncoming traffic to avoid drains that have dipped 2mm in to the road.
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I don't get that at all. Or there is a country lane near me. They are worried that a sticking out branch in the hedgerow might scratch their car, so they would rather go head to head with me instead.

I'm not an accident investigator so I might be talking out my arse here. But I think a 40 mph head on collision with a big chunky Ford Galaxy might do a bit more damage to their precious Merc than the overnight growth of a bramble. I keep meaning to get a dashcam because one day someone will drive in to me and I want to show I was in the correct position but they were in the middle of the road. I have had some hammer their horns in annoyance that they have to drive on their side of the road and I didn't drive into a hedge to save their car the risk of a scratch. If they are that paranoid then they should not drive down narrow country lanes.
 
Amazon free shipping at orders over £35, but not all products are included. I've got an order of £75 and I'm still £7 short. Paying for postage would be £5, so it makes sense to find something worth £7 to buy.
 
DaveH said:
Amazon free shipping at orders over £35, but not all products are included. I've got an order of £75 and I'm still £7 short. Paying for postage would be £5, so it makes sense to find something worth £7 to buy.
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Dominos large pizza now being £12 as it should be springs to mind. Shame £12.99 is the minimum order value for delivery.
 
Celebs/actors doing the interview rounds on telly/radio.
Interviewer "Tell us about your latest fillum, there, what's it all about"
Celeb "Ooh, I can't say too much, spoilers 'n that"
Interviewer "Fine, f*ck off then, why did you bother turning up, wasting my time, the public's time, air time. Folk have lost minutes of their life to listen to you say nowt! F*ck off & don't darken my door again..."
 
I don't know if they do them anymore, but things like the 100 worst Brits. Then you have someone of the calibre of Gary Bushell or Boris Johnson giving quips.

Or 100 best comedy moments. They show them then someone obscure tells you what happened.
 
DBStar said:
I don't know if they do them anymore, but things like the 100 worst Brits. Then you have someone of the calibre of Gary Bushell or Boris Johnson giving quips.

Or 100 best comedy moments. They show them then someone obscure tells you what happened.
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I hate those shows or there used to be things like the 100 best shows of the 80s. But all the 'celebs' had obviously been prepped and all used the same cliches, and said the same thing.

I remember one where Doctor Who came up and everyone said the same thing "Hiding behind the sofa". Nobody hid behind their hands or a cushion or cuddled their mam. Every house I went in during the 80s, had the sofa against the wall. You could not hide behind it, yet apparently everyone did.
 
redandwhiterob said:
Paper cuts on finger tips. Tiniest of nicks and ends up being a ball ache for a week or two. It's either plaster up or everything you touch you get that little bit of pain running through you
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Aye. Or when you try and remove a tiny bit of skin from around the nail and it stings like hell for a week.
 
Drivers who are in cars that clearly have cruise control but instead decide they wish to travel between 55-75 on a motorway so even though you have your cruise control set at 70 have to pull out and overtake the same car 5 times because they speed up 30 seconds after you have overtaken then, or even worse they notice a van might be overtaking them so they speed up so you are side by side for a bit.

A lot of overhead signs on the motorway now saying don't hog the middle lane, drivers going by said signs hogging the middle lane, always seem to be drivers around 55 oblivious to the world around them.

Thankfully my motorway driving is done for the week.
 
FoldingStars said:
Drivers who are in cars that clearly have cruise control but instead decide they wish to travel between 55-75 on a motorway so even though you have your cruise control set at 70 have to pull out and overtake the same car 5 times because they speed up 30 seconds after you have overtaken then, or even worse they notice a van might be overtaking them so they speed up so you are side by side for a bit.

A lot of overhead signs on the motorway now saying don't hog the middle lane, drivers going by said signs hogging the middle lane, always seem to be drivers around 55 oblivious to the world around them.

Thankfully my motorway driving is done for the week.
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I hate that. The last long trip I had, I had one driver. First of all they boxed me in because I could see a lorry a mile off but they were just keeping pace next to my back wheel as I eased off and eased off. They only finally got past when I dropped to 55 as I came right up against the lorry. So I moved out behind them, they trundled past the lorry at 60, moved in, I started to speed up to overtake them and was not really gaining on them, realised I'd go to 85, give up and pulled in behind. With me safely behind they dropped to 60. Three more times I tried to overtake and each time was pushing 90 and still could not get past, and each time they dropped their speed as soon as I pulled back in.

I only got passed them when we hit a bit of more congested traffic and they had other cars to "race" against. But otherwise, it was "I don't want to drive fast, but I don't want anyone in front".

It was not unique either. Over the years I have been driving, I've encountered people like that a few hundred times.
 
In house lawyers who
  • Because they're so much cleverer than the rest of us, decide to give me a tutorial on how to do my job. And since I've only been doing my job for 30 years, I was very grateful to have it explained to me very patronisingly by someone who hasn't got a f***ing clue what they're talking about
  • Would have in fact been better off getting a tutorial in how go on SharePoint and access the latest copy of the document we've been working on instead of making changes to an out of date offline copy that they've been sitting on for three months
 
Cockney Mackem said:
In house lawyers who
  • Because they're so much cleverer than the rest of us, decide to give me a tutorial on how to do my job. And since I've only been doing my job for 30 years, I was very grateful to have it explained to me very patronisingly by someone who hasn't got a f***ing clue what they're talking about
  • Would have in fact been better off getting a tutorial in how go on SharePoint and access the latest copy of the document we've been working on instead of making changes to an out of date offline copy that they've been sitting on for three months
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Reminds me of the finance head at my old place. He signed off buying IT which made him an expert in IT.

I spent months working on a business case to start a project for offsite data tape storage (which was passed by senior management), talking to vendors, visiting sites, negotiating deals and then he rejected the purchase order and completely closed down the budget line, killing the project dead. It had the comment "Not necessary, surely a cupboard can be found at our small satellite site".

So then I spent half a day writing a detailed report to show how much staff time it would cost to drive once a week to that site, the impact of losing the work van for most of a day (plus being available for emergencies), then went through the whole spec and estimated how much it would cost to have fire suppression, environmental controls, security, audited card locks and everything else you would need to keep data safe and secure. I finally finished it off with "Although the start up cost for such a venture would be expensive, we would see a return in investment within 67 years. However we must consider a replacement and maintenance cycle, the figures overleaf push that ROI closer to 113 years"
 
Cockney Mackem said:
In house lawyers who
  • Because they're so much cleverer than the rest of us, decide to give me a tutorial on how to do my job. And since I've only been doing my job for 30 years, I was very grateful to have it explained to me very patronisingly by someone who hasn't got a f***ing clue what they're talking about
  • Would have in fact been better off getting a tutorial in how go on SharePoint and access the latest copy of the document we've been working on instead of making changes to an out of date offline copy that they've been sitting on for three months
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Just before I left work to retire I needed to approach my old department to deliver something for my new department.

I thought I’d explained my needs to the young whippersnapper who was sent to analyse them. But he seemed intent in proving that he was considerably clever than me so he kept asking daft question and being utterly patronising. I attempted, at first, to signal, via the use of his own departments jargon and some references that might lead him to believe I wasn’t wet behind the ears or owt, but he wasn’t taking any hints. He was about 24. I was about 64.

Then he got awkward. It was getting embarrassing. I was accompanied by my current departmental boss and another colleague. I was trying to be professional.

But when he referred me to the requirement to follow his department processes and systems in order to achieve what was required I snapped. And told him I knew how they operated because I’d personally introduced them in 2008 and if he looked at the controlling paperwork he’d see my name all over it.

It wasn’t pretty.
 
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