Just seen a lad i knew who came up with the greatest lies ever

[dangermows]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

 

[toenails]

Greedminds?

 

[Dibble]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

Has to be Belly Bullshitter?

Went on holiday to Spain was out swimming and was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. Only one caught him as he is such a strong swimmer and it bit his big toe off. He was rushed to hospital and they sent out a squad of divers who caught the shoal of piranhas and cut them up. They found his toe and stitched it back on and due to modern plastic surgery methods, no scars were showing on his foot.

 

[MarcoGoalo]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

Love these sort of stories

 

[Dan The Man]

Anyone over the age of 10 that tells these kind of porkies need stringing up.

 

[Duracel Funny]

Has to be Belly Bullshitter?

Went on holiday to Spain was out swimming and was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. Only one caught him as he is such a strong swimmer and it bit his big toe off. He was rushed to hospital and they sent out a squad of divers who caught the shoal of piranhas and cut them up. They found his toe and stitched it back on and due to modern plastic surgery methods, no scars were showing on his foot.

Brilliant

 

[Banana Boy]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

 

[j.w]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

True story

 

[vote quimby]

Havent seen him for ages. Apparently he just got back from Boston (he was right where the bomb went off but all that happened was the force blew a sarnie out his hand )

Can add this to his other belters:

1. He had to get rid of his car cos it was so fast that every time he put his foot down he got blown through the back window.

2. He karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past.

3. He didnt get a job in the fire service not because he is a fatty but because he has fire proof skin (which wasnt fair on the other applicants).

:roll:

funny as fuck

 

[kirtsafc]

Kenny senior?

 

[muggboots]

Class these.

 

[Andy_Roker1983]

I think we all know someone similar (maybe not quite to that extreme in terms of stories) to this lad and I've never understood why? They honestly must be mental if they think people believe this shit

Thing is its embarrassing when they tell you and you know everything they say is bollocks.

 

[Beaker]

Know a lad that claimed he'd had his neck blown open out in Afghanistan by a snipers bullet, yet thanx to those miraculous plastic surgeons he has no scars nor did he miss a day of service.

He still hadn't fully joined the marines at the time of this story.

 

[MackemPunk]

Know a lad that claimed he'd had his neck blown open out in Afghanistan by a snipers bullet, yet thanx to those miraculous plastic surgeons he has no scars nor did he miss a day of service.

He still hadn't fully joined the marines at the time of this story.

What is it about the forces that attract bullshitters?

 

[deltabluesman]

The world needs these people in it.

 

[Duke of Hendonshire]

What is it about the forces that attract bullshitters?

They get erect wearing uniforms?

 

[Beaker]

What is it about the forces that attract bullshitters?

Fuck knows.

Ironically he now is a Marine, and also a sniper. A pretty good one too by all accounts. Lucky bugger was almost blown apart by an IED last time he was out there, fortunately his backpack took the brunt of the blast and saved his life.

When he told us the story we ripped him to pieces for telling porkies, until we found out that this story was actually true and he'd lost 2 friends in the blast. :-(

We felt like shit at the time but just goes to show how much bother lies can get you into.

 

[Tex]

Love these sort of stories

I hate them. The Aldridge Priors have clearly grown up without some one telling them to shut the fuck up with their bullshit. Laughing at them is like laughing at retards.

Has to be Belly Bullshitter?

Went on holiday to Spain was out swimming and was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. Only one caught him as he is such a strong swimmer and it bit his big toe off. He was rushed to hospital and they sent out a squad of divers who caught the shoal of piranhas and cut them up. They found his toe and stitched it back on and due to modern plastic surgery methods, no scars were showing on his foot.

Piranhas are freshwater fish in the Amazon, not sea fish in the Mediterranean.

 

[Farralad]

Class these. Don't see my billy mate that much so the stories have dried up, His Latest one though is him being approached to get an all expenses degree in games testing, "free Microsoft points the lot"

This is cos he's in the top 10k in the world on call of duty…

Asked him recently what the crack is and if he'd started studying, he hadnt so I humoured him by saying the uni's are probably breaking up for the summer hols.

 

[Maravilla]

Lad who I went to college with came up with one of the best Billy Bullshit stories I've heard or read anywhere:

Apparently when he was 16 he was out with his lass (she didn't exist either) in Chinatown when he suddenly starts to racially abuse some Chinese fella in the restaurant, who then goes on to challenge him into a fight. Naturally, the lad from college beats him to a pulp, only to find out later on that the fella he beat up is a major Triad boss.