Sung to "Where do you go to my lovely" I used to love hearing the pissed up old boys singing this 
You look like Lassie with acne
You dance like Biffo the bear
Your clothes are all made by Bernards
And you’ve lice and spunk in your hair
And up your back, you know you’re slack
You live in a fancy compartment
On one of Her Majesty’s ships
With four hundred and twenty young fisheads
Each one of them gives you the shits
Yes they do…
So where do you go to my lovely?
When you’re alone in your pit
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
When you’re having a spine shattering shit
Your name is heard in high places
You know the buffer quite well
He gave you a dildo for Christmas
You use it for ringing the bell
Yes you do, ding-a-ling
Do you remember the Embassy party?
I recall that you caused quite a stir
Sliding down the banister
With your piss flaps going brrr brrr
Brrr brrr, brrr brrr
I remember the back streets of Gosport
Your ******** all gaping and wide
I remember I popped my head in
And the rest of the mess was inside
Playing draughts for a laugh
Ha ha, ha ha
I remember the back streets of Naples
The children all begging in rags
I remember you stole all their money
For a pint and a packet of fags
Yes you did, half a quid
I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your pit
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘cos I know that you’re full of shit
You look like Lassie with acne
You dance like Biffo the bear
Your clothes are all made by Bernards
And you’ve lice and spunk in your hair
And up your back, you know you’re slack
You live in a fancy compartment
On one of Her Majesty’s ships
With four hundred and twenty young fisheads
Each one of them gives you the shits
Yes they do…
So where do you go to my lovely?
When you’re alone in your pit
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
When you’re having a spine shattering shit
Your name is heard in high places
You know the buffer quite well
He gave you a dildo for Christmas
You use it for ringing the bell
Yes you do, ding-a-ling
Do you remember the Embassy party?
I recall that you caused quite a stir
Sliding down the banister
With your piss flaps going brrr brrr
Brrr brrr, brrr brrr
I remember the back streets of Gosport
Your ******** all gaping and wide
I remember I popped my head in
And the rest of the mess was inside
Playing draughts for a laugh
Ha ha, ha ha
I remember the back streets of Naples
The children all begging in rags
I remember you stole all their money
For a pint and a packet of fags
Yes you did, half a quid
I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your pit
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘cos I know that you’re full of shit
