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Depression

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Becs said:
Definitely need to get my arse into gear with weight loss. My son is potentially getting married in December next year. It's complicated as they want to get married in Norway, so he's going over there in Feb to start the ball rolling with legal stuff.
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Good luck mate , I much prefer putting weight on :) and congratulations
 

87 Others said:
Being told over and over how quiet you are and just made to fell an outsider
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That's horrible isn't it. I spent my 20s and early 30s wracked with a very slow to go social anxiety. I heard that exact same comment so many times. Women telling me I should smile - sometimes I even was smiling it's just not a wide mouth FFS. My favourite was getting told I had a Gallagher attitude when I was just in a bad place one night and quietly enjoying other people speaking.
Jacksnuts said:
I’m not in depression but I’m struggling with my ex kids etc and I’m at the edge
Enough to be posting this message
I talk to my mates about it and whinge but it’s always in drink
I dunno just feel down
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Depression is a weird thing mate. I have all the symptoms currently other than the sadness. Anhedonia is always the worst one for me. All the best.
Jacksnuts said:
I’m ok when I keep busy
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I think that's one of the things DBT teaches you that I'm struggling to listen to. Even if you don't feel the same enjoyment or sense of purpose as you usually do in something, try hard to do it anyway.
Becs said:
Definitely need to get my arse into gear with weight loss. My son is potentially getting married in December next year. It's complicated as they want to get married in Norway, so he's going over there in Feb to start the ball rolling with legal stuff.
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Norway is a fabulous place to visit. Something great to aim for.
 
I'm not sure if this has been spoken about before in the thread, but I wonder does anybody have any books they've read/listened to the audio version that they found helpful? Here are a few I've listened to that have been very helpful for at least understanding what's going on in my head for four decades. All of them gave me several of those kind of moments where one freezes and realises that they are being described in part abd somebody gets it.

Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker. I think this also might help with non complex PTSD because the symptoms as experienced, rather than the cause of the symptoms, are nearly all the same. He also has a lot of documentation on his website that is free as a starting point and to help. Teaches you about trauma and responses to trauma (fawning, fight or flight and freezing).

Healing the Shame That Binds you - John Bradshaw. Seeks to help you understand shame, the root causes and try to address them. Might be best swerved if religion is a trigger for you as it has 12 step parts in it. Though as with all 12 step, you make your own deity, so god isn't necessarily a Christian god.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality - Hal Straus and Jerold J Kreisman. Probably self explanatory, but BPD has a heavy cross over with Complex Trauma. I found it useful for understanding attachment and relationship patterns and anger.

Has anybody read any others?
 
DBStar said:
I'm not sure if this has been spoken about before in the thread, but I wonder does anybody have any books they've read/listened to the audio version that they found helpful? Here are a few I've listened to that have been very helpful for at least understanding what's going on in my head for four decades. All of them gave me several of those kind of moments where one freezes and realises that they are being described in part abd somebody gets it.

Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker. I think this also might help with non complex PTSD because the symptoms as experienced, rather than the cause of the symptoms, are nearly all the same. He also has a lot of documentation on his website that is free as a starting point and to help. Teaches you about trauma and responses to trauma (fawning, fight or flight and freezing).

Healing the Shame That Binds you - John Bradshaw. Seeks to help you understand shame, the root causes and try to address them. Might be best swerved if religion is a trigger for you as it has 12 step parts in it. Though as with all 12 step, you make your own deity, so god isn't necessarily a Christian god.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality - Hal Straus and Jerold J Kreisman. Probably self explanatory, but BPD has a heavy cross over with Complex Trauma. I found it useful for understanding attachment and relationship patterns and anger.

Has anybody read any others?
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Unfortunately I haven't read any books which I should do really or get around to it at least but some good pointers for me there mate 👍
de Ruyter said:
Hi, thanks for asking. Been in a bad way like. Just trying to get sorted a bit
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We all here for you and I wish I could do more to help you mate but if I can please let me know 👍.
 
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CPLforever said:
Nice to hear from you though. Glad to know you are hanging in there.

You can manage this, I know you can.
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lucky said:
Unfortunately I haven't read any books which I should do really or get around to it at least but some good pointers for me there mate 👍

We all here for you and I wish I could do more to help you mate but if I can please let me know 👍.
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Thanks both. Proof that depression, anxiety, alcohol and Christmas are one hell of a toxic mix
 
I have just read through the last 8 pages or so of this thread and have to say what a wonderful person you are @lucky. You are so supportive of everyone who has posted on here. Hope you are doing well marra. Thoughts are with everyone else on here also who are struggling, hope 2024 is a better year for you all.

@Becs I read you were thinking of claiming pip. It's not easy to get, you get points awarded for all the things you can't do (make meals, go out on your own, plan journeys, wash yourself, make a meal etc). I claim it for Meg and the forms are awful, 33 pages to fill in. If you do attempt to get it they will almost certainly turn you down the first time, make sure you appeal and even go to a tribunal if necessary. Meg got pip first time but when I claimed DLA for her (when she was younger) they refused her. I ended up taking her to the tribunal with me and they changed the decision to high rate care and mobility. Make sure you fight for it if you think you should be getting it.
 
ATS said:
I have just read through the last 8 pages or so of this thread and have to say what a wonderful person you are @lucky. You are so supportive of everyone who has posted on here. Hope you are doing well marra. Thoughts are with everyone else on here also who are struggling, hope 2024 is a better year for you all.

@Becs I read you were thinking of claiming pip. It's not easy to get, you get points awarded for all the things you can't do (make meals, go out on your own, plan journeys, wash yourself, make a meal etc). I claim it for Meg and the forms are awful, 33 pages to fill in. If you do attempt to get it they will almost certainly turn you down the first time, make sure you appeal and even go to a tribunal if necessary. Meg got pip first time but when I claimed DLA for her (when she was younger) they refused her. I ended up taking her to the tribunal with me and they changed the decision to high rate care and mobility. Make sure you fight for it if you think you should be getting it.
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Thank you so much mate and wish you and your family the best 2024 ever ❤️.
 
Harry Gates said:
This 100%, do your thing.
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This.
Xmas, NY, just another day, one day at at a time.
Had lovely night building a fort in front room with my 12 yr old son, whos still younger than his age, precious times.
Little things, means a lot, hope everyones ok - big shout out to all the usuals on this page looking after people when they need it.
What a great thread, thanks all x
 
There is this song I listen to sometimes when I am feeling lost, battered, defeated and helpless. I play it on repeat. I sing along with defiance. It is called I'm not down by The Clash.

The particular lyric I sing out loud again and again is

I've been beat up. I've been thrown out but I'm not down, I'm not down.

I've been shown up but I've grown up (this bit sometimes doubtfull) but I'm not down, I'm not down

............

I know, there'll be some way, when I can swing everything back my way. Like skyscrapers rising up. Floor by floor I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up.

It helps me....just thought I would share 🙂

We try, try our best to keep on top of things, but sometimes. Well. So I will put this song on and sing along at the top of my voice, and I will sing it for all those on here who feel battered and bruised too

Keep yourselves safe and well.

Happy new year xxxx
 
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