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Depression

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Harry Gates said:
The duration is the only blessing, love them both but that diminishes the closer they get 😁

We used to go away for a week at a time together, so it was two days before and two days after as well, that was a struggle.
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Some parents/older people apparently just don't seem to be able to accept that their offspring grow up so can't get beyond that "dealing with a child" stage.
 
Turner the Cat said:
Best wishes. It sounds familiar!

I could be at the dinner table watching my dad opposite drunk, slurring his words, stuffing his mouth with food, saying bitter things and insulting my wife. My mother is as diplomatic as a puch in the face tell me something like "you do know your father never wanted you".

I've just got used to it all now though so its a lot easier.

Less eloquent but I think makes the point quite well

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I’ve never been in that situation. With my dad I’m more like the parent which is hard work but nothing compared to emotional abuse you and a few others suffer from your parents.

It’s a tough one as surely the absolute minimum anyone ever wants is to be loved and accepted by their parents.
 
Harry Gates said:
I agree with that conclusion, the only narrative is my narrative schtick is very tiring.
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Maybe it's time for you to carefully consider mentioning it to them if it's getting to you. so much. Hopefully they'll appreciate the fact that you've spoken to them like the adult you obviously are now.

That could make them think about altering how they behave when they're with you. and give you respect.
 
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70s traveller said:
Maybe it's time for you to carefully consider mentioning it to them if it's getting to you. so much. Hopefully they'll appreciate the fact that you've spoken to them like the adult you obviously are now.

That could make them think about altering how they behave when they're with you. and give you respect.
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I do very little else but mention it, they know it enrages me but all we ever get is intransigence and " i don't remember it that way".

I'm sure similar conversations take place in other families with "strong women" at the pointy bit.
😁
 
Harry Gates said:
I do very little else but mention it, they know it enrages me but all we ever get is intransigence and " i don't remember it that way".

I'm sure similar conversations take place in other families with "strong women" at the pointy bit.
😁
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I thought that may have already happened. If they know it winds you up doing it, but still do, it may be time for you to avoid/minimise seeing them if it has such a negative effect.

That decision obviously has to be purely yours after full personal consideration, but from your posts it may not be too far ahead for your life. I accept that other factors are involved but for yourself you need to consider.
 
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70s traveller said:
I thought that may have already happened. If they know it winds you up doing it, but still do, it may be time for you to avoid/minimise seeing them if it has such a negative effect.

That decision obviously has to be purely yours after full personal consideration, but from your posts it may not be too far ahead for your life. I accept that other factors are involved but for yourself you need to consider.
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I see them 3/4 times a year for 4/5 days at a time, they're 200 miles away, which is close enough, ironically if you totalled the hours up, i see more of them now then when i lived 8 miles away.

It's going to surprise no-one that the dread beforehand is usually worse than the event itself and i can pass a few days pleasantly so long as nowt contentious is raised.

They'll be here in 16 hours, not that i'm counting.
😁

Thanks all for your support and the space to vent, it was either this or buy a dog and kick the fuck out of it.
😇
 
Harry Gates said:
I see them 3/4 times a year for 4/5 days at a time, they're 200 miles away, which is close enough, ironically if you totalled the hours up, i see more of them now then when i lived 8 miles away.

It's going to surprise no-one that the dread beforehand is usually worse than the event itself and i can pass a few days pleasantly so long as nowt contentious is raised.

They'll be here in 16 hours, not that i'm counting.
😁

Thanks all for your support and the space to vent, it was either this or buy a dog and kick the fuck out of it.
😇
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Get yourself prepared, if you want something to batter I'll send the wife round.

Main point: Try to work out something to think away from the concerns (dread) you're building up within yourself, there are positives.

Footnote: They may have equal concerns about coming to you if they think they need to impress so their passive comments may reflect that. It will be fine.
 
Harry Gates said:
I see them 3/4 times a year for 4/5 days at a time, they're 200 miles away, which is close enough, ironically if you totalled the hours up, i see more of them now then when i lived 8 miles away.

It's going to surprise no-one that the dread beforehand is usually worse than the event itself and i can pass a few days pleasantly so long as nowt contentious is raised.

They'll be here in 16 hours, not that i'm counting.
😁

Thanks all for your support and the space to vent, it was either this or buy a dog and kick the fuck out of it.
😇
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You can do it mate
 
Harry Gates said:
I overthink everything, i mentioned earlier that i don't have a quiet head.
💥
Thanks again , i'm writing down my log in details, so whoever survives will report back.
😁
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You'll be fine, honestly.
Harry Gates said:
I overthink everything, i mentioned earlier that i don't have a quiet head.
💥
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I'd prefer you to call it an active brain, which is a very good sign. But you need to work out how to control it, e.g. give it something to do other than dwelling on negatives.
 
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lucky said:
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@Becs My daughter just messaged said they back taking on again at EDF


Hope it's better than what you got at the minute mate 👍
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Thank you. I've filled the application in just now and we'll see what happens.

I applied for two other customer service jobs for banks but didn't get either of those.

I've started taking 5HTP tablets again to see if they can help.

I still feel really low at the moment and I still feel unwell with the crohns flare and lingering cold symptoms.
 
Becs said:
Thank you. I've filled the application in just now and we'll see what happens.

I applied for two other customer service jobs for banks but didn't get either of those.

I've started taking 5HTP tablets again to see if they can help.

I still feel really low at the moment and I still feel unwell with the crohns flare and lingering cold symptoms.
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Ahhhh mate so sorry you still feeling unwell but let's hope them tablets can help, if there is anyway my daughter can help in anyway regarding the job please let me know and I'll see what she can do 👍. In the meantime you keep plodding along mate and keep posting if you need anything , as I would say nearly everyone would help anyone in this thread.
 
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