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Depression

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bagpiperay said:
In my view, it would be a joint decision with the company doctor who would definitely be supportive of anyone who Is on the autistic spectrum. The medic who, by agreement, might have access to medical notes, could formulate a letter to management confirming reported areas of difficulty for which allowances in working practice might be called for.
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This is what is happening with me in conjunction with occupational health.

It was the occupational health report we were discussing when we had the conversation.
 
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Suspender Sue said:
This is what is happening with me in conjunction with occupational health.
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Good and it’s the appropriate action for your protection and rights and those of your employers too. Something as simple as e.g. understanding sarcasm and jokes, facial expressions, being unintentionally literal in your responses to comments, being a perfectionist might cause others to accuse you of not being a team player, being moody or rigid, or just being difficult unlike others who do the same work. That would be totally wrong of course as those at the Asperger’s end of the spectrum often have great analytical and technical skills and knowledge to offer.
 
Suspender Sue said:
But when I say I had been diagnosed as a child and (as I did) was happy to go for a new diagnosis, plus involved the union, then literally I did do everything I could.

Until ASD (on my side) was thrown in the ring by the union guy, she had made her mind up about me and wouldn't budge.

Yes, it was as much my responsibility to raise any problems and that's exactly what I did to manager and union. What else was I supposed to do?
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You seem to be talking about this from the employer's perspective, as someone who's had to deal with similar.
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I’m trying to take a pragmatic view of the situation.
 
bagpiperay said:
Good and it’s the appropriate action for your protection and rights and those of your employers too. Something as simple as e.g. understanding sarcasm and jokes, facial expressions, being unintentionally literal in your responses to comments, being a perfectionist might cause others to accuse you of not being a team player, being moody or rigid, or just being difficult unlike others who do the same work. That would be totally wrong of course as those at the Asperger’s end of the spectrum often have great analytical and technical skills and knowledge to offer.
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Asperger's is a spikey profile and one reason I probably wasn't so easily picked up is I do, usually, get sarcasm. Also, I'm reasonable at reading people. That said, these are developed skills as I was crap at both until my early-to-mid 20s.

The rest does fit with me and I see myself loud and clear in the above. Perfectionism and not being seen as a team player by some has popped up at times.

That said, the perfectionism and meticulous nature with information, alongside hyperfocus on complex problems has in part meant me doing extremely well academically. I'm one of the Ph.D.ers on here. A mate at the time many moons ago told me to get the bloody thesis submitted and not be so obsessed with it being scientifically correct. I see this behaviour now being a symptom of my Asperger's as I had become "obsessive" over it. The hyperfocus, when directed where it needs to be, is a sort of superpower. But focused off target on something unimportant, it can be damaging.

Another problem are meltdowns, which are normally no more than short-term mental shutdowns or freezes. A proper meltdown is quite rare as I know the usual triggers. It's usually multiple triggers together that set these off.
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It's a journey for me, as I'm going through my life and realising where the Asperger's has been an issue. I'm discovering myself to a degree.

A laid-back personality over many things does help counteract the worst effects. Possibly unusually for someone on the ASD scale, I don't usually l display anxiety over issues. Shit happens sometimes.

It's pressure from others who don't get or read me (I.e. my previous manager - she was poor at reading people full stop - as said, I believe she was ASD herself) or otherwise pressure from without that causes anxiety, increase the risk of unwanted shut downs and thus, potentially, mistakes.
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I meant rediscoving myself to a degree. 😊
 
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Suspender Sue said:
Asperger's is a spikey profile and one reason I probably wasn't so easily picked up is I do, usually, get sarcasm. Also, I'm reasonable at reading people. That said, these are developed skills as I was crap at both until my early-to-mid 20s.

The rest does fit with me and I see myself loud and clear in the above. Perfectionism and not being seen as a team player by some has popped up at times.

That said, the perfectionism and meticulous nature with information, alongside hyperfocus on complex problems has in part meant me doing extremely well academically. I'm one of the Ph.D.ers on here. A mate at the time many moons ago told me to get the bloody thesis submitted and not be so obsessed with it being scientifically correct. I see this behaviour now being a symptom of my Asperger's as I had become "obsessive" over it. The hyperfocus, when directed where it needs to be, is a sort of superpower. But focused off target on something unimportant, it can be damaging.

Another problem are meltdowns, which are normally no more than short-term mental shutdowns or freezes. A proper meltdown is quite rare as I know the usual triggers. It's usually multiple triggers together that set these off.
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It's a journey for me, as I'm going through my life and realising where the Asperger's has been an issue. I'm discovering myself to a degree.

A laid-back personality over many things does help counteract the worst effects. Possibly unusually for someone on the ASD scale, I don't usually l display anxiety over issues. Shit happens sometimes.

It's pressure from others who don't get or read me (I.e. my previous manager - she was poor at reading people full stop - as said, I believe she was ASD herself) or otherwise pressure from without that causes anxiety, increase the risk of unwanted shut downs and thus, potentially, mistakes.
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I meant rediscoving myself to a degree. 😊
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I like much of what you have said. Developing insight is the province of us all from doctors to teachers, to manual labourers, librarians, parents and those with and without any of the difficulties often discussed here. it is said that most professionals in the caring / counselling arenas are working through those areas in their own lives which, through training and experience, they are becoming to understand. I often used to wonder why older people in my various professions had much less energy than myself when I was young, but coped much better yet seemed much more laid back. It is, of course, through the distillation of experience over the years without wasting unnecessary energy in fruitless tasks. Similarly, a good counsellor or psychologist can share their experience of the needy by helping others on the road to recovery using a range of therapeutic techniques often tailored to suit the patient or client.

it is always an inspiration and joy to me when I see young people like my own children growing and developing life skills (as opposed to work or technical skills). We must all remember most of what we do, as we become older, is often for the first time eg marriage, job, change of job, buying a house, getting married so it’s inevitable that we are not perfect as repetition and correcting our errors, little by little, is the way we most often learn.

in your case, there are specific and understood difficulties with change, social areas and so on not obvious to many others who don’t ‘read’ you awfully well. It’s such a pity mental health input to firms often doesn’t go past the minimum training requirements for organisations so crisis management is still alive and well.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Going out with a mate today. Been looking forward to it all week. Now that it's here I'm on the verge of a panic attack about going out for beers with somebody I've been close mates with for 35 years ffs. Always been socially awkward (even with close friends) but it's really gone into overdrive over the last year or so.
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I hope you made it out and enjoyed yourself mate.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I did go out and as always after the first hour or so I calmed myself down and had a good day out. The anticipation is always more stressful than actually being out but I never learn.

I did in the end. Cheers.
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The two parts to your response is so interesting. I wonder have you ever been offered CBT which has a good success rate? Look at this.
You must be logged on to see external links
 

Walking to get blokes talking #2

Hi lads and lasses, I’m posting this on here as I know a lot of you on here came to our last one. We’re doing a “pier-to-pier” (see what we did there), walk from South Shields to Roker on Saturday July 15th. For our walk this time we’ve partnered up with Walk nd Talk, Iceguys and Washington...
www.readytogo.net www.readytogo.net

In case anybody hasn't seen it, this sounds really good next weekend. I might have a look over
 
bagpiperay said:
The two parts to your response is so interesting. I wonder have you ever been offered CBT which has a good success rate? Look at this.
You must be logged on to see external links
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I haven't considered CBT before. I will read up on this. Thanks for the link.
Gazoliver said:

Walking to get blokes talking #2

Hi lads and lasses, I’m posting this on here as I know a lot of you on here came to our last one. We’re doing a “pier-to-pier” (see what we did there), walk from South Shields to Roker on Saturday July 15th. For our walk this time we’ve partnered up with Walk nd Talk, Iceguys and Washington...
www.readytogo.net www.readytogo.net

In case anybody hasn't seen it, this sounds really good next weekend. I might have a look over
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Gutted I'm at work or I definitely would have went. Really admire what this group are doing.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I did go out and as always after the first hour or so I calmed myself down and had a good day out. The anticipation is always more stressful than actually being out but I never learn.

I did in the end. Cheers.
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I'm so pleased you went out and enjoyed yourself.

Have you heard of catastrophising? It's something I struggle with and would be like you, with struggling in the run up to an event in case something goes wrong.

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Left the car in a Sainsburys car park last night. It was pre-paid and the store was in a nice enough area with a well lit car park. Still had a mega panic for absolutely no reason that the car was going to be vandalised overnight and I'd be left stuck in Scarborough today and unable to go work tomorrow. Nothing at all happened to the car.
 
Becs said:
I'm so pleased you went out and enjoyed yourself.

Have you heard of catastrophising? It's something I struggle with and would be like you, with struggling in the run up to an event in case something goes wrong.

You must be logged on to see external links

Left the car in a Sainsburys car park last night. It was pre-paid and the store was in a nice enough area with a well lit car park. Still had a mega panic for absolutely no reason that the car was going to be vandalised overnight and I'd be left stuck in Scarborough today and unable to go work tomorrow. Nothing at all happened to the car.
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Try anything that helps I say 👍. Is this the new old Becs if you get what I mean.
 
Becs said:
I'm so pleased you went out and enjoyed yourself.

Have you heard of catastrophising? It's something I struggle with and would be like you, with struggling in the run up to an event in case something goes wrong.

You must be logged on to see external links

Left the car in a Sainsburys car park last night. It was pre-paid and the store was in a nice enough area with a well lit car park. Still had a mega panic for absolutely no reason that the car was going to be vandalised overnight and I'd be left stuck in Scarborough today and unable to go work tomorrow. Nothing at all happened to the car.
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I do a bit of this. However if I plan what to do if the worst happens then I'm OK and then if the worst doesn't happen it's a bonus
 
Becs said:
I'm so pleased you went out and enjoyed yourself.

Have you heard of catastrophising? It's something I struggle with and would be like you, with struggling in the run up to an event in case something goes wrong.

You must be logged on to see external links

Left the car in a Sainsburys car park last night. It was pre-paid and the store was in a nice enough area with a well lit car park. Still had a mega panic for absolutely no reason that the car was going to be vandalised overnight and I'd be left stuck in Scarborough today and unable to go work tomorrow. Nothing at all happened to the car.
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Yep I definitely do this and to make it worse so does our lass which means it can have twice the impact. Its led to huge arguments about a wedding we are meant to be going to together.

I also get really down after something I've been looking forward to is over. Like holiday blues but it can apply to absolutely anything from going for a meal to watching the bairn perform in a show. Its a strange feeling as I know I am being daft but can't shake the feeling.
 
Interesting discussion

I had this talked about at one time. Castrophising but with self-sabotage

Sounds a bit dramatic - but it was along the lines of you fear the worst so set about nobbling it in advance to make sure it can't happen

Then you relax a bit - but then beat yourself up that you missed out altogether and only you caused it

Trouble is, I can't recall if any techniques were offered to prevent it
 
de Ruyter said:
Interesting discussion

I had this talked about at one time. Castrophising but with self-sabotage

Sounds a bit dramatic - but it was along the lines of you fear the worst so set about nobbling it in advance to make sure it can't happen

Then you relax a bit - but then beat yourself up that you missed out altogether and only you caused it

Trouble is, I can't recall if any techniques were offered to prevent it
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Yeah it is a strange thing because I know when I am doing it and know that it is irrational but can't do anything to stop myself from doing it.
 
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