Depression

[kyle's left foot]

The more I hear about failing relationships, the more I think being on me Todd is the way to go. Don't think it's good to have stuff like where I live and how much money I get to spend on myself hanging by a gossamer thread on the whims of another - potentially flakey - person.

Every day looking for clues in someone's behaviour to establish whether you might have to look on Zoopla in three months and walking on eggshells in case you upset them. Seriously, fuck that.

My story prob quite long but been separated about 3 years now from wife, kids 14 and 11, we amicable which helps - but I have no interest in being with someone else like, I enjoy my own time (and money!).
Loads of people when you say that to them say the same like

 

[Sunlun79]

My story prob quite long but been separated about 3 years now from wife, kids 14 and 11, we amicable which helps - but I have no interest in being with someone else like, I enjoy my own time (and money!).
Loads of people when you say that to them say the same like

It must be so much better when your amicable, I’ve tried with my ex but it doesn’t work as see’s it as a weakness and takes the mick.

I think not jumping into a relationship straight away certainly has its benefits, my kids are very settled I told my oldest there wasn’t anyone going to move in or replace his Dad.

I love my own company, Been 2 years for me but still not desperate to meet anyone.

 

[kyle's left foot]

It must be so much better when your amicable, I’ve tried with my ex but it doesn’t work as see’s it as a weakness and takes the mick.

I think not jumping into a relationship straight away certainly has its benefits, my kids are very settled I told my oldest there wasn’t anyone going to move in or replace his Dad.

I love my own company, Been 2 years for me but still not desperate to meet anyone.

Its hard to remain amicable tbh, and it will really hit when we have to sort divorce paperwork (I will be asking for full clean financial break - but happy to support her/kids still).
Its hard also when I do know she has met someone else, not that im particular bothered about her - but she not even told me, and hes around my kids.
Pretty shitty, but its life, to me my kids are my world I somehow rise above it

 

[Sunlun79]

Its hard to remain amicable tbh, and it will really hit when we have to sort divorce paperwork (I will be asking for full clean financial break - but happy to support her/kids still).
Its hard also when I do know she has met someone else, not that im particular bothered about her - but she not even told me, and hes around my kids.
Pretty shitty, but its life, to me my kids are my world I somehow rise above it

I imagine that’s when things will be tough, I’m lucky wasn’t married.

I had told my ex to keep things separate with his new partner but he ploughed ahead with sleep overs then moved in with her and her kids.

Didn’t tell me at all intact he lied for months saying he was still at his old house had to hear it from my son.

The bairns happy now, I struggled at first but I will always be there Mam nobody can take that away.

I’m sure the kids will always be thankful to you for making sure they were your main priority.

 

[Deleted member 54076]

The more I hear about failing relationships, the more I think being on me Todd is the way to go. Don't think it's good to have stuff like where I live and how much money I get to spend on myself hanging by a gossamer thread on the whims of another - potentially flakey - person.

Every day looking for clues in someone's behaviour to establish whether you might have to look on Zoopla in three months and walking on eggshells in case you upset them. Seriously, fuck that.

Nearly 10 years for me. Left a relationship due to domestic violence. Had a couple of very brief relationships nine years ago but both were men who expected me jump when they said jump, so I decided not to pursue things further.

Quite content in my own little world now.

 

[TAD]

It's really amazing that folks are happy on their own-i actually think it's healthy that every adult lives alone for some period of possible (without parents or partner I mean) to show that they don't have to rely on someone else.
Having said that, if you do find the right person then that person will be a support on your journey rather than a weight. Just want to say that there are some amazing people/partners out there for those that do want them in the future. Just ensure you are in a good place with yourself would be my advice.

 

[Sunlun79]

Nearly 10 years for me. Left a relationship due to domestic violence. Had a couple of very brief relationships nine years ago but both were men who expected me jump when they said jump, so I decided not to pursue things further.

Quite content in my own little world now.

I think when you’ve experienced that in a relationship your always cautious and can spot potential red flags.

My previous relationship was controlling, hence why I’ve not rushed to meet anyone.

Had a few dates last year and straight away I could tell what kind of bloke he was and I ended up blocking him as he was pestering me.

It’s a lovely feeling being totally happy with just yourself

It's really amazing that folks are happy on their own-i actually think it's healthy that every adult lives alone for some period of possible (without parents or partner I mean) to show that they don't have to rely on someone else.
Having said that, if you do find the right person then that person will be a support on your journey rather than a weight. Just want to say that there are some amazing people/partners out there for those that do want them in the future. Just ensure you are in a good place with yourself would be my advice.

So true, I really don’t think meeting someone 2 years ago would have been the right thing to do.

I had so much shite going on in my life that it wouldn’t have been fair on them. Plus mentally I was in a terrible place.

Be nice to meet someone but if it doesn’t happen I wouldn’t dwell on it.

 

[Scootsie]

I took the first step in talking to someone last week after years of denial. Been prescribed sertraline.

I haven’t read the whole thread but has anyone had experience of it? I know things take a while to get into your system etc but I feel like shite.

 

[lucky]

I took the first step in talking to someone last week after years of denial. Been prescribed sertraline.

I haven’t read the whole thread but has anyone had experience of it? I know things take a while to get into your system etc but I feel like shite.

I came off it mate as just didn't make me feel right but that my own personal choice ( plus have other illnesses ) if it works for you thats great but if not mate just say and ask to try different medication.

 

[Scootsie]

I came off it mate as just didn't make me feel right but that my own personal choice ( plus have other illnesses ) if it works for you thats great but if not mate just say and ask to try different medication.

It’s early days like but I constantly feel like my head’s about twice the size and my stomach is going mad.

 

[Five-Quarter]

It’s early days like but I constantly feel like my head’s about twice the size and my stomach is going mad.

I went from fluoxetine to sertraline quite a long time ago. Remember the doctor saying you might feel a bit ill for a little while. Didn't take much notice but I did.

Even had 2 days off work. That was a funny one to explain. I don't feel well cos of medication . Didn't stay on it long tbh

I took the first step in talking to someone last week after years of denial. Been prescribed sertraline.

I haven’t read the whole thread but has anyone had experience of it? I know things take a while to get into your system etc but I feel like shite.

I should have added really, it may well work for you. Once the initial period is over

One of my mates reckoned it helped her enormously

 

[shadowplay]

I was a long term sertraline user, they definitely worked for a while (and yeah, the initial side effects were brutal). They waned after a few years on them.

I've been prescribed escitalopram now and don't really feel any different for it. Unfortunately all GPs can do is keep putting you on something else.

 

[Sunlun79]

I’ve taken Citalopram quite a few times, takes a while to work. It did lift my mood and helped me function but I often felt like a Zombie.

With me ditching the alcohol, clean eating and walking has more effect.

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

I was a long term sertraline user, they definitely worked for a while (and yeah, the initial side effects were brutal). They waned after a few years on them.

I've been prescribed escitalopram now and don't really feel any different for it. Unfortunately all GPs can do is keep putting you on something else.

Is it just a case of trial and error to see if one works? I've avoided anti-depressents because I'm worried about the side effects but I might have to bite the bullet and see my GP if I feel like this much longer.

 

[Five-Quarter]

I’ve taken Citalopram quite a few times, takes a while to work. It did lift my mood and helped me function but I often felt like a Zombie.

With me ditching the alcohol, clean eating and walking has more effect.

Can vouch for alcohol. I've been feeling canny for a little while away from it again. I take it to extremes at times though

Been carrying a bit of a worry weight in the head like which might have just been lifted.

It'll be replaced by something else as my brain just isn't wired up for good things to happen

Then just thought that final sentence even proves the final sentence

 

[lucky]

Can vouch for alcohol. I've been feeling canny for a little while away from it again. I take it to extremes at times though

Been carrying a bit of a worry weight in the head like which might have just been lifted.

It'll be replaced by something else as my brain just isn't wired up for good things to happen

Then just thought that final sentence even proves the final sentence

Mate you doing class and should be proud of yourself.

 

[Five-Quarter]

Mate you doing class and should be proud of yourself.

Thanks mate. And you know why!

And hope everyone battling all the shit things does ok this weekend

 

[Sunlun79]

Can vouch for alcohol. I've been feeling canny for a little while away from it again. I take it to extremes at times though

Been carrying a bit of a worry weight in the head like which might have just been lifted.

It'll be replaced by something else as my brain just isn't wired up for good things to happen

Then just thought that final sentence even proves the final sentence

It does, but if you’ve had a crappy time and get good news then you worry something bad is going to happen.

I’ve definitely taken it to extremes in the past thinking it will help me. But it just makes things so much worse and the anxiety is bloody awful.

 

[Five-Quarter]

I should probably say, sometimes am using this forum as a means to lash out

It's healthier than the real world

Mr Nice Quiet sometimes goes tits up

So fuck.

Coming up 6ish years for me getting out from domestic violence
Well done for surviving strong!
Didn't think I'd get into another relationship properly but then I did and it is great but @Cow is a great lad if a bit marriage minded
How did you find the police and court handling of your case? I thought the police were amazing, really amazing but the Court system not so much.

Yup. 3 years ago.now. how time flies since the arse hole emptied my bank account and savings.

The police have been amazing. People have phoned them since.

I've said this before, but was sat here 6 months ago and I recall the officer saying "you've got us"

Ya what? Me? I've got the police?

 

[CatRyan]

I should probably say, sometimes am using this forum as a means to lash out

It's healthier than the real world

Mr Nice Quiet sometimes goes tits up

So fuck.

Yup. 3 years ago.now. how time flies since the arse hole emptied my bank account and savings.

The police have been amazing. People have phoned them since.

I've said this before, but was sat here 6 months ago and I recall the officer saying "you've got us"

Ya what? Me? I've got the police?

It's great that financial abuse is recognised now. It was just coming in when I got out and I didn't go down that path. He took tens and tens of thousands from me to try and leave me unable to get a place of my own and leave.
The police like I said were absolutely amazing and I think were pleased to have someone who was able to go to court and not back down etc

Well done for getting free of her? Him?

I'd pay all that money and more again to not have him underfoot