Depression

[ChrisAshley]

not the only one mate, haven't left the house this weekend. Will be countless others too I bet.

Aye same here, well I left the house to get some food as I'm home alone at the moment but otherwise I haven't interacted with anyone. My minds wandered today like (bloody mirrors!) and got myself down again but then started thinking of future depressing events that hasn't even happened and got myself down about it, is that normal for being depressed? Or am I just mental?

 

[johnson]

Aye same here, well I left the house to get some food as I'm home alone at the moment but otherwise I haven't interacted with anyone. My minds wandered today like (bloody mirrors!) and got myself down again but then started thinking of future depressing events that hasn't even happened and got myself down about it, is that normal for being depressed? Or am I just mental?

Hard to say mate, sounds like a bit of anxiety?

I actually worry about events coming up that I know will be good, because the day after they are over is horrendous for me.

 

[Scimmy]

I've never had depression but I've had people worry about me and then openly question how I can just carry on like im some kind of emotionally retarted fuckwit.

At 15 I lost my mam to cancer, at 16 I had an accident and damaged my spinal cord at L1 which meant I have to walk with crutches for rest of life and more than likely end up in a wheelchair eventually. At 20 my fiance died. She was 21.

I think about these things everyday, sometimes I cry, sometimes I rage but most if the time I just crack on. This is just 'life'. It's what happens. Sometimes it pisses me off when I hear people say 'im depressed'. I think why, what the fuck do you have to be depressed about.

But then I think, well I suppose everybody deals with things differently and it's how you are brought up. My Dad was always 'just deal with it'.

Maybe this is just storing it all up for later and eventually I'll just come crashing down. Who knows?

I'm no expert Foolzy but you come across to me as a lad who's handling stuff really well and I reckon you'll continue to do so. OK there will be times when you will understandably get angry and frustrated but that is to be expected and you can use these times as a safety-valve and let off some steam.

For what it's worth, I have been dealing with a couple of issues recently that have been trying me and our lass quite sorely. Compared to what you have been dealing with they are childs-play. Your words have given me a lift. Respect to you mate.

 

[yorkyexile]

Aye same here, well I left the house to get some food as I'm home alone at the moment but otherwise I haven't interacted with anyone. My minds wandered today like (bloody mirrors!) and got myself down again but then started thinking of future depressing events that hasn't even happened and got myself down about it, is that normal for being depressed? Or am I just mental?

Very normal from my own experience Chris.Always the worst case senario that plays on your mind and 9/10 times its your brain blowing out of all proportion imagined scenarios that have absolutely no basis in reality anyway. My nutty nurse did tell me the correct term for it, mebbes @Skandhaless can fill you in but your not mental in the way your thinking. And im not sure if its part of the depression or more an anxiety sside of it, if that makes sense. Once again you know where we all are if you need to drop a pm

 

[Dibble]

Aye same here, well I left the house to get some food as I'm home alone at the moment but otherwise I haven't interacted with anyone. My minds wandered today like (bloody mirrors!) and got myself down again but then started thinking of future depressing events that hasn't even happened and got myself down about it, is that normal for being depressed? Or am I just mental?

What do you like doing Chris?

 

[jcrossan]

Whenever things have looked bad to or for me I've gone outside and just ran and ran..mile after mile. Do that day after day and soon life seems better )(maybe cos you are so f***ing knackered). Hardly scientific i know but I've had mates who've gone to the docs and got pills that seem to make them half asleep all the time. Knees are a bit shot these days so go to the gym instead.

 

[ChrisAshley]

What do you like doing Chris?

Apart from whinging on the smb, sitting around listening to music or watching football then nothing, remember watching a video that was saying lasses like lads who have interests, and it basically said learn a trade in something no matter how small or daft it is, and I couldn't think of one single thing i'd like to do.

 

[Skandhaless]

Very normal from my own experience Chris.Always the worst case senario that plays on your mind and 9/10 times its your brain blowing out of all proportion imagined scenarios that have absolutely no basis in reality anyway. My nutty nurse did tell me the correct term for it, mebbes @Skandhaless can fill you in but your not mental in the way your thinking. And im not sure if its part of the depression or more an anxiety sside of it, if that makes sense. Once again you know where we all are if you need to drop a pm

It's negative retrieval bias and rumination basically . Essentially to survive as humans during evolution it has paid us to pay more attention to negative cues than positive ones. It's carrot and stick , if we miss a cue telling us there is a carrot we go hungry but get another shot at it . If we miss the stick it bashes our brains in , game over . So we pay strong attention to negatives .
When we get depressed or socially anxious the signals are that we are In danger, socially at least ( which in more primitive times was actually physically dangerous ). The autonomic nervous system then starts to tell us to scan for negatives ( via the physical senses, anxiety etc) , the deepest form of this turns to rumination , cyclic thought patterns looking for full awareness of weakness or threat . Unfortunately this only finds greater threat and so it goes .
The answer is found in dropping the rumination and getting in the moment , many of the strategies on here ( excercise , conversing , music ) do just that , divert the mind from the self to neutral or pleasant external cues .

 

[Charlestonian]

I'm in the process of getting divorced after being married for just over 5 years, we've tried and failed to have kids and it's torn us apart.
It's unfortunate but it happens, that said I was battling on earlier on this year, keeping things as normal as possible, work, gym, seeing my mates.
I just hit a brick wall, no real reason for it, I couldn't do anything, couldn't face people, I was in a pretty grim place.
My mates came to see me in the place I was staying at the time, I've honestly never felt more ashamed of myself at that moment and they were amazing, better than I deserved in my mind.
Anyway I've moved in with my mate now and I'm back on the straight and narrow, I'm getting out and meeting new people and sticking in at graft.
I do genuinely understand how helpless you end up feeling though, it creeps up on you.
I still have days when I'm feeling awful to be honest, this sounds corny as owt but I've got this phrase on my monitor at work:

Make sure you're not missing out.
Seize the day.
What do you care about?
What matters?
Pursue that.
Forget the rest.

It helps me anyway, anyone who is struggling, and I appreciate there'll be people under it a lot worse than I was, stick in, it'll get better!

 

[smoker]

I have said this elsewhere, but GPs should not be diagnosing depression or prescribing medication for it. The NHS's mental health policies are completely arse about face. Between 2000 and 2010 I was offered anti-depressant medication around 20 times by various GPs when no actual diagnosis was made. It was not until 2010 that I was actually referred to a mental health doctor, who then made a diagnosis which helped, but the various GPs had missed that I had a simple physiological medical problem that was not diagnosed fully until last year, and which is resolved by taken prescribed vitamin D supplement.

In my opinion GP's should by thinking like this:

1) The GP is not going to be the person to solve this. They are just going to make the initial assessment and medical tests and then pass the individual to mental health experts.
2) Are there life events or situations that could be making the person miserable? If so, some mental health special theraphy might be part of the solutions.
3) Are there any potential medical factors? Routinely do bloods tests, including vitamin D, and parathyroid hormone, thyroid, and so on. Either way, do the tests check the levels, call the patient to discuss if there are findings, and also pass the patient to mental health specialists for a mental health checkup.
4) Is the patient looking after themselves in regards to drugs and alcohol and diet? Again, assess the medical impact of this, refer to the relevant drugs/alcohol/diet specialists.

GPs should be the first point of contact and only have a remit for the medical aspect. No GP should be allowed to give anti-depressant medication to patients. GPs do not have the skills or time available to them to be able to make an adequate assessment in this regard.

Have you ever been referred to mental health services for depression or anxiety? I have twice, for anxiety disorders, and both times they refused to see me and told my GP I should self-refer to Talking Changes for CBT. They are totally run off their feet and will only see people with serious complexes. So many people suffer from anxiety and depression, if GPs were unable to prescribe anti-depressants it would become a national crisis IMO.

Agree with you in theory though.

 

[iansun]

Fella down the road says he's got depression, he's persuaded the GP to sign him off because he's got depression, his marriage is bust (completely his fault, cant keep his cock in his pants) and he says this is depressing him. He's 50 and got a back problem (which doesn't stop him doing anything he wants to if he feels like it) and this depresses him. There is more but I'll spare you. He's all over Facebook yakking on about his depression and how people who haven't had it don't understand.

Scuse me pal but I think you have an advanced case of feeling sorry for yourself, not depression....there's a difference. I kind of fancy those with proper depression don't run up and down the street telling all and sundry about it.

Or am I a cynic?

I think anyone with depression would be to depressed to brag about it.

 

[The Shinning]

Hard to say mate, sounds like a bit of anxiety?

I actually worry about events coming up that I know will be good, because the day after they are over is horrendous for me.

I have this weird thing where I act up on big occasions. I've ruined a birthday, a Christmas, a New Year's Eve, and a Halloween by getting over pissed and acting a twat really badly for some reason. I don't hardly drink anymore now because of things like that, and the way I feel the day after (lower than a snake's belly)

 

[johnson]

Have you ever been referred to mental health services for depression or anxiety? I have twice, for anxiety disorders, and both times they refused to see me and told my GP I should self-refer to Talking Changes for CBT. They are totally run off their feet and will only see people with serious complexes. So many people suffer from anxiety and depression, if GPs were unable to prescribe anti-depressants it would become a national crisis IMO.

Agree with you in theory though.

agree.

 

[Charlestonian]

Having a massive wobble today, it's the first time I've taken any time off work since I finished with her, enforced by work really because I've got loads to take.
I ventured out for a run this morning and I've wrecked me calf, I'm now looking at the possibility of being stuck indoors till next Monday.
Normally I would take holidays to coincide with her being off so everything just feels all wrong today, I cannot sort myself out.

 

[The Shinning]

Having a massive wobble today, it's the first time I've taken any time off work since I finished with her, enforced by work really because I've got loads to take.
I ventured out for a run this morning and I've wrecked me calf, I'm now looking at the possibility of being stuck indoors till next Monday.
Normally I would take holidays to coincide with her being off so everything just feels all wrong today, I cannot sort myself out.

Sorry to hear that mate

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[Hair Flick]

I reckon this time of year has got to be the worst when the nights start closing in, and you get weather like today where it's just pissed down all day long and hardly seems to have got light. Then you know it's like this for the next 6 months till spring has sprung again.

But apart from that, it's not all bad like.

 

[The Shinning]

I reckon this time of year has got to be the worst when the nights start closing in, and you get weather like today where it's just pissed down all day long and hardly seems to have got light. Then you know it's like this for the next 6 months till spring has sprung again.

But apart from that, it's not all bad like.

I hear that mate. Pissed down all day, started work at half 5, got bollocked twice in the first five minutes and felt like jacking it in. Wouldn't have felt as strongly about it in mid-July

 

[JumpingAnaconda]

Have you ever been referred to mental health services for depression or anxiety? I have twice, for anxiety disorders, and both times they refused to see me and told my GP I should self-refer to Talking Changes for CBT. They are totally run off their feet and will only see people with serious complexes. So many people suffer from anxiety and depression, if GPs were unable to prescribe anti-depressants it would become a national crisis IMO.

Agree with you in theory though.

Yes, I was referred to a local mental health services, they did an assessment and recommended that I did a group CBT class. It was called something like an 'Anxiety Education Class'. It was six weekly sessions of two hours in a class of about thirty people and it was really good. It helped me finish off a lot of work I had started by myself with simple concepts like laddering (where you take little steps towards achieving your goal) and understanding how you maintain your own anxiety. The lady who assessed me and ran part of the course told me I was probably the worst anxiety sufferer in that group by quite some way. I would guess most of those participating were mild to lightly restricted sufferers. I was managing things much better after the class, but I still had a huge amount of anxiety to manage. I was just managing it better. It was not until it was discovered that I had a chronic vitamin D deficiency, and until I was actually seen by a specialist in that area, that it was explained to me that if you have this problem, you will get increased levels of parathyroid hormone, and one of the key symptoms of this is anxiety.

I have always suspected that the anxiety I suffered had a physiological cause. (Blimey, I think that is the first time I have referred to 'suffering anxiety' in the past tense!) During the phase when I was on and 0ff of the vitamin D supplements, when it was being treated as dietary problem rather than my body being incapable of retaining it, I could get a better perception of the physical aspects of the problem.

In my case I am unusual because I can say that a large part of my problem was physical and fixed with a simple vitamin D medication that only became available several months before I was prescribed it. I am convinced that there are others in this world who are currently being treated for depression and anxiety with all kinds of medication who have an underlying vitamin D deficiency causing them problems. The problem is the research is almost non-existent and the condition is almost impossible to diagnose within the existing NHS routines. There is not even a proper name for the condition I have. I am in the early stages of planning what I will begrudgingly refer to as a 'campaign' to try and get a few things happening. Hopefully I am quite well positioned to do this.

I reckon this time of year has got to be the worst when the nights start closing in, and you get weather like today where it's just pissed down all day long and hardly seems to have got light. Then you know it's like this for the next 6 months till spring has sprung again.

But apart from that, it's not all bad like.

This is my mantra, but go to your doctor and get your vitamin D levels tested. Those that are most affected by the shortening of the nights and sleep patterns are often vitamin D deficient. Get your levels checked, and if they are low, get the doctor to prescribe you a course of vitamin D. Complete the course, get your vitamin D levels checked again, and then get them checked again 8 to 12 weeks later to see if they are plummeting. Then you can insist on a maintenance dose.

 

[Live In Hope]

People like the OP mentioned give depression a bad name. I've suffered with it for last month and hid it so well that people don't have a clue. But it's got to stage when I can't face work tomorrow and need to change jobs etc. Still nobody at work or my friends will have a clue when I'm not at work tomorrow as I've kept it to myself. Some people who make a drama out of it secretly enjoy it a little imo

 

[JumpingAnaconda]

People like the OP mentioned give depression a bad name. I've suffered with it for last month and hid it so well that people don't have a clue. But it's got to stage when I can't face work tomorrow and need to change jobs etc. Still nobody at work or my friends will have a clue when I'm not at work tomorrow as I've kept it to myself. Some people who make a drama out of it secretly enjoy it a little imo

But when you get on top of it, and you find you can take any shit thrown your way, you realise what an opportunity depression can be. Sometimes I think depression is just a learning curve. You are learning how to deal with feelings and events, and maybe you will in the process throw off some of the shackles that have been holding you back from enjoying your life.