Child Maintenance

Skiddaw

Skiddaw

Winger
I'm currently having my annual review done by the wonderful CMS. Unfortunately for me the ex is telling untruths about how often have mini Skids in order to try and extract as much of my hard earned cash as possible.

Apparently CMS won't accept my version (which happens to be the truth) and will only accept the testimony of the ex. Anyone else have experience of this or how to approach it to get a fair hearing?

To date on top of the maintenace I pay for school dinners, uniforms, clothes, school trips and not to mention the thousands of miles I travel to facilitate contact.

Really frustrating scenario as my boy is desperate to live with me but I can't see that happenng anytime soon as he makes too much money for a household full of idle bastards.
 


I thought they set the amount and you pay it? No need for extra as it is all included into the amount they say and then take ? Maybe the ex is just taking the piss and demanding extra when she wants it?

Know a lad who was far to easy to part with the cash as he thought it was going to his son when infact it was for the ex holidays and nights out.
 
prehab26 said:
I thought they set the amount and you pay it? No need for extra as it is all included into the amount they say and then take ? Maybe the ex is just taking the piss and demanding extra when she wants it?

Know a lad who was far to easy to part with the cash as he thought it was going to his son when infact it was for the ex holidays and nights out.
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You just have to accept that as a likelihood I'm afraid. I'm lucky that I managed to keep it all out of the courts/CMS but my son's mother is unemployed and out on the piss 3 or 4 days a week. Yet she couldn't afford to get him a present for his 12th birthday in June ( he's still waiting).

Absolutely every penny I give her goes through as a bank transfer/standing order though so I can provide evidence of needed. It's a sad state of affairs but you've got to keep evidence of what you've done for the bairn no matter how amicable things may seem at times.
 
Skiddaw said:
I'm currently having my annual review done by the wonderful CMS. Unfortunately for me the ex is telling untruths about how often have mini Skids in order to try and extract as much of my hard earned cash as possible.

Apparently CMS won't accept my version (which happens to be the truth) and will only accept the testimony of the ex. Anyone else have experience of this or how to approach it to get a fair hearing?

To date on top of the maintenace I pay for school dinners, uniforms, clothes, school trips and not to mention the thousands of miles I travel to facilitate contact.

Really frustrating scenario as my boy is desperate to live with me but I can't see that happenng anytime soon as he makes too much money for a household full of idle bastards.
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In the short term just pay what you are mandated to do. It will be hard on your boy but you need to hit her in the pocket.
 
Its a total piss take that they won't hear you side of things. I do get why you would want to pay for the extras for your kids, but if its just funding the ex's lifestyle it should be cut down to just what they take.
 
Skiddaw said:
I'm currently having my annual review done by the wonderful CMS. Unfortunately for me the ex is telling untruths about how often have mini Skids in order to try and extract as much of my hard earned cash as possible.

Apparently CMS won't accept my version (which happens to be the truth) and will only accept the testimony of the ex. Anyone else have experience of this or how to approach it to get a fair hearing?

To date on top of the maintenace I pay for school dinners, uniforms, clothes, school trips and not to mention the thousands of miles I travel to facilitate contact.

Really frustrating scenario as my boy is desperate to live with me but I can't see that happenng anytime soon as he makes too much money for a household full of idle bastards.
Click to expand...

That is tough to take I'm sure.

My advice.... make up an xl spreadsheet of your nights with your son for the year ahead. Have everything agreed in email or texts that you save.
Present that to the child mtx people. It will probably take time but worth it.
 
Skiddaw said:
I'm currently having my annual review done by the wonderful CMS. Unfortunately for me the ex is telling untruths about how often have mini Skids in order to try and extract as much of my hard earned cash as possible.

Apparently CMS won't accept my version (which happens to be the truth) and will only accept the testimony of the ex. Anyone else have experience of this or how to approach it to get a fair hearing?

To date on top of the maintenace I pay for school dinners, uniforms, clothes, school trips and not to mention the thousands of miles I travel to facilitate contact.

Really frustrating scenario as my boy is desperate to live with me but I can't see that happenng anytime soon as he makes too much money for a household full of idle bastards.
Click to expand...
you need reciepts for everything mate. never hand over cash, always via bank xfer that will leave a trace.
Keep a log of all miles/ fuel you do/spend in order to see your kids.
They cant dispute hard evidence.
Bit of a clart but if you have a lying ex, worth it.
 
Any way you could physically buy the uniforms and clothes, and pay the school directly for dinners and trips so the ex doesn't get her hands on the cash?

What I would say is, if you paying for trips, clothes, school dinners, and then maintenance, what does your maintenance actually cover?
 
What A Waster said:
Any way you could physically buy the uniforms and clothes, and pay the school directly for dinners and trips so the ex doesn't get her hands on the cash?
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Me and my parents (mainly my parents) buy extras on top of the maintenance such as school uniform, shoes etc but always physically buy them. We shouldn't have to but we know the kids would go to school looking like tramps if we didn't.
We also take labels off etc so she can't take them back for refunds!

And I know a fair proportion of the maintenance doesn't get spend on them. Unfortunately you just have to suck it up. Luckily we can organise it without the CSA.
 
Happened to me in the early days ,
they accepted what she said regarding how often I had the bairns overnight,
but when I disputed it they said they can’t take my word for it and I’d have to goto court .

my ex calmed down and it’s amicable now thank god ,
She called them off cos even she got sick of them putting the wrong information in letters
 
Sossidge Rerls said:
Me and my parents (mainly my parents) buy extras on top of the maintenance such as school uniform, shoes etc but always physically buy them. We shouldn't have to but we know the kids would go to school looking like tramps if we didn't.
We also take labels off etc so she can't take them back for refunds!

And I know a fair proportion of the maintenance doesn't get spend on them. Unfortunately you just have to suck it up. Luckily we can organise it without the CSA.
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that is awful:cry:
 
Keep a log of all his visits - dates & times.

Any payment to her should be by cheque or bank transfer - never cash - must have an audit trail.

Also, if you buy your kid stuff just from you, try to use a credit card and keep the statements.
 
Iballistic George said:
Then simply cut out the uniforms etc . It's all included within the total they set.
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The thing is none of the maintenance gets spent on him. It's easy to say don't buy him anything but I can't having walking round looking like a tramp, I just can't do that to him. Never buys him a thing and even gets hend me down underpants from friends....yes second hand skids

Sossidge Rerls said:
Me and my parents (mainly my parents) buy extras on top of the maintenance such as school uniform, shoes etc but always physically buy them. We shouldn't have to but we know the kids would go to school looking like tramps if we didn't.
We also take labels off etc so she can't take them back for refunds!

And I know a fair proportion of the maintenance doesn't get spend on them. Unfortunately you just have to suck it up. Luckily we can organise it without the CSA.
Click to expand...

I buy him decent walking gear which always seems to disappear. It's never crossed my mind that it could be getting sold on until you mentioned the labels

CatRyan said:
That is tough to take I'm sure.

My advice.... make up an xl spreadsheet of your nights with your son for the year ahead. Have everything agreed in email or texts that you save.
Present that to the child mtx people. It will probably take time but worth it.
Click to expand...

Yes might be a start but it won't help this year unfortunately. It's the downplaying of my contact with my son to eek out a few more quid that's really pissed me off
 
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Skiddaw said:
Yes might be a start but it won't help this year unfortunately. It's the downplaying of my contact with my son to eek out a few more quid that's really pissed me off
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you can make a spreadsheet now to map the next year out up to Dec 19, it can be amended in email / texts

how often do you have your son?

I can do it for you today, I'm off sick
only over nights count
 
Skiddaw said:
The thing is none of the maintenance gets spent on him. It's easy to say don't buy him anything but I can't having walking round looking like a tramp, I just can't do that to him. Never buys him a thing and even gets hend me down underpants from friends....yes second hand skids
I buy him decent walking gear which always seems to disappear. It's never crossed my mind that it could be getting sold on until you mentioned the labels
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It's shocking, you should see the state of the underwear and socks they sometimes come to mine in, so I just bin them. The worst was my eldest going to school in shoes where one shoe had a massive hole in the front, I only knew because I saw him at his Christmas play. On my next weekend I bought him some new ones.

Yeah always take the labels off and get him to wear shoes outside at yours for a bit so they can't be refunded or exchanged for a credit note.

If they need a new pair of football boots for example she'll now say to the boys ask your dad to get you some. For some reason she doesn't think they boys will tell me this!
 

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