Ashley he just divunt understand...open letter

[Deleted member 31305]

"WE are the reason Rafa decided to stay at the club."



What an absolute spenk this bloke is

 

[Arcas Left Peg]

This is the best Gravy Bingo I've ever seen. It has to be a windup, surely?

"John Hall transformed us into a side that everyone up and down the country – if not throughout the footballing world – wanted to watch."

Aye. Mes que un pasty.

"In the end, we won nothing."

When the fuck have you won anything? And I'm not counting a certificate that your manager didn't even know you'd won, you fuckwits.

You must be logged on to see external links

I have told Sam, my 10-year-old son, all of the stories about our 5-0 win over Manchester United, and Asprilla’s hat-trick in our 3-2 win over Barcelona.

How about that time you drew 1-1 with Forest? I'm sure he'd love it, LOVE IT, if you told him that one.

He got his first season ticket midway through last season’s successful Championship campaign

Did he? On his own? Fuck me, that's a well paying paper round.

In Rafa, we have one of the master tacticians in world football.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

He is a manager that most clubs would beg for.

Yeah, absolutely. Apart from, you know, every other club in football who'd seen how he'd failed at his last three jobs, passed on him, and he ended up with you jokers because he had nowhere else to go.

So it mystifies and bemuses me why when he – ”the right man” to lead Newcastle United as you called him during your recent interview – advises you that we need particular players to make us a team able to compete in the Premier League (on the back of promises and assurances that were made to him), he was ignored.

Those particular players being a left back (Colback is above average there - he's shit in midfield but decent as a fullback), a keeper (Tim Krul got bizzarely relegated to fourth choice then sent on loan) or striker (I love seeing Mitrovich's face sat on the bench wondering exactly what he's done wrong)

Whether you are wanting to own a club that has a possibility of a good cup run or a European spot

Just can't help yourself. WUR A MASSIVE CLURB AND DESURVE UUROPE LIKE

and continue to use the club and particularly the stadium, as a platform to continually promote your Sports Direct brand as an unofficial sponsor, with little to no money being paid to the club for doing so.

Didn't notice too many complaints when it was Wonga, despite being vastly more reprehensible. Bet you've got at least one shirt advertising semi-legal loan sharks, if you can see the sponsor under all the gravystains.

You claimed that you will not put a penny more into the club from your own fortune

He said that your Lord and Saviour St Rafa the Infallible might have to get rid of some of the shit he'd signed on five year contracts and stupid wages he'd wanked all the cash on before he could have any shiny new toys.

the sponsorship deal would likely be worth a lot more than the amounts of money you have put into the club already.

The money that stopped you going bust. For fuck's sake, he's the best thing that ever happened to you twats.

We have a love for our club which many would say is unrivalled.

Fuck off.

If we go into one of your sports stores and we don’t like the items you are selling we can just shop elsewhere.

Yeah, but you don't. Every single one of you, on every continent on the planet, is draped head to toe in that shit. Which, again, frequently also advertises horrible loan sharks.

I have gone full circle in my time as a fan.

Plump to fat to obese to spherical?

playing to a national media that, on the whole, enjoys nothing more than reporting on and ridiculing the soap opera that is Newcastle United

That's because you're laughable.

particularly when things are inevitably going wrong

Always.

the local journalists at the Chronicle, who will ask the questions that need answering.

Dear God. "Hi, I'm Lee. Could you tell me how hard you would like your hoop licked, Mr Benitez?"

the 52,000 fans

NO AWAY FANS ALLOWED AT THE LANDFILL

Failure to do something, could result in the anarchy that arose a few years ago

Phone boxes, fake funerals, horse punching...you should be OK though because we're not about this season to fuck you AGAIN and let you smash your own city centre up.

WE are the reason Rafa decided to stay at the club.

Nothing to do with the money. No sir.

WE are the reason that the club makes so much money from shirt and other merchandise sales.

I'm confused. I thought you hated Sports Direct?

But be aware: WE are also the reason that the whole club could fall apart.

BOYCOUTT!!!!!

Even I'm bored after all that. What a pair of fuckwits we both are, Paul Nicholson. You mag twat.

 

[Mallard]

But you should remember:

WE are the reason Rafa decided to stay at the club.

Absolute top class

I do think that is my favourite line. I am sure the reported 4mil per year salary has nout to do with it.

 

[Vauxie]

Thick mag fucker

 

[citybythesea]

At least he's got a common sounding name, Paul Nicholson. He's got plausible deniability when his mates laugh their tits off at this cheese fest!

 

[Deleted member 361]

In the end we won nothing

tickled me too

 

[Dodgy]

less mate, what with the waiting list

And yet... And yet... His son managed to get a season ticket halfway through last season.

Somebody must have choked on a sossij roll and died.

 

[ontap]

And yet... And yet... His son managed to get a season ticket halfway through last season.

Somebody must have choked on a sossij roll and died.

 

[richest]

COME ON CHEESES OF ... I think we need a special art work from you on this story please

 

[hefty em]

86% of Newcastle fans are fat and thick.

A staggering statistic, whichever way you look at it.

 

[Hamwise]

Mags on twitter raving because it's gone 'viral' whatever viral is.
Daft thing is I've said consistently in a power battle with Ashley there is only ever one winner. He's already instructed Rafa to stop whinging in the press. If Rafa had any pride he'd walk. Oh hold on it would cost him £5m

This creates me up - how do you manage to end up with a contract like that when he was the one holding all the cards? No wonder Fat Mike doesn't trust him with his money.

He's certainly no master tactician when it comes to contract negotiations.

 

[richest]

86% of Newcastle fans are fat and thick.

A staggering statistic, whichever way you look at it.

It is.

 

[nelford_safc]

(He) starts a sentence like this and claims to be a journalist?

52,000 trotted out, no away fans, ever. Deluded f***ing rubbish.

Benitez's problem is that he spunked all his cash on Championship rubbish, adding to a large wage bill already containing tripe like Colback on £50K a week. He has only managed to move on about 2 players. He's made a rod for his own fat, sweaty back.

Tough shite fatty.

He's a master tactician though and with Villa, Norwich and Sunderland out of the way the tactical master classes can start.

 

[Clueless]

He's 47 and he wrote that? If I was "Sam" I'd be very embarrassed and wouldn't dare face my friends at School today

Supposedly, in addition to being Sam's Dad, he is a part-time journalist. I hope that he has a lucrative sideline, because the 'open letter' is so badly written that a team of sub-editors couldn't hope to save it.

Whilst it is acceptable (albeit almost always with a high degree of embarrassing naivety) for a fan to set out his concerns about the club he supports, it is unacceptable for the Chronicle to publish it as if it is the distilled wisdom of 'Everyman' and a articulate and forensic analysis of the current situation at Newcastle.

I think Mr Nicholson might be better advised to limit his writing to a fanzine message board.

 

[CARLOS CLASS]

This is the best Gravy Bingo I've ever seen. It has to be a windup, surely?

Aye. Mes que un pasty.
When the fuck have you won anything? And I'm not counting a certificate that your manager didn't even know you'd won, you fuckwits.

You must be logged on to see external links

How about that time you drew 1-1 with Forest? I'm sure he'd love it, LOVE IT, if you told him that one.
Did he? On his own? Fuck me, that's a well paying paper round.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, absolutely. Apart from, you know, every other club in football who'd seen how he'd failed at his last three jobs, passed on him, and he ended up with you jokers because he had nowhere else to go.
Those particular players being a left back (Colback is above average there - he's shit in midfield but decent as a fullback), a keeper (Tim Krul got bizzarely relegated to fourth choice then sent on loan) or striker (I love seeing Mitrovich's face sat on the bench wondering exactly what he's done wrong)
Just can't help yourself. WUR A MASSIVE CLURB AND DESURVE UUROPE LIKE
Didn't notice too many complaints when it was Wonga, despite being vastly more reprehensible. Bet you've got at least one shirt advertising semi-legal loan sharks, if you can see the sponsor under all the gravystains.
He said that your Lord and Saviour St Rafa the Infallible might have to get rid of some of the shit he'd signed on five year contracts and stupid wages he'd wanked all the cash on before he could have any shiny new toys.
The money that stopped you going bust. For fuck's sake, he's the best thing that ever happened to you twats.
Fuck off.
Yeah, but you don't. Every single one of you, on every continent on the planet, is draped head to toe in that shit. Which, again, frequently also advertises horrible loan sharks.
Plump to fat to obese to spherical?
That's because you're laughable.
Always.
Dear God. "Hi, I'm Lee. Could you tell me how hard you would like your hoop licked, Mr Benitez?"
NO AWAY FANS ALLOWED AT THE LANDFILL
Phone boxes, fake funerals, horse punching...you should be OK though because we're not about this season to fuck you AGAIN and let you smash your own city centre up.
Nothing to do with the money. No sir.
I'm confused. I thought you hated Sports Direct?
BOYCOUTT!!!!!

Even I'm bored after all that. What a pair of fuckwits we both are, Paul Nicholson. You mag twat.

Class post!

 

[SShields84]

Fuck me, unbelievable.

So in the last 25 years since football was invented and they won the championship they have finished in the top ten 9 times, 13 times outside the top 10 and 3 years in the championship....in that time they had one real golden period of four years finishing second twice, third and sixth yet it is this period that they are holding onto and basing their greatness on. The stats show us that that was a blip in their usual form and really they've only been a mediocre mid table club at best despite the revolving door of messiahs and famous no.9's.

Mayne the only 'we' the author of the letter should examine is 'we, the 52,000 faithful, should hang our heads in shame at hounding out decent managers over the years because we believe we have a right to constantly relive our 4yr purple patch'

brilliant.

Fuck me sideways, I'm not just saying this with red and white tinted glasses on because I've always thought it about Benitez long before he took over there but the bloke is a f***ing chancer. Apart from Steven Gerrard wining the FA Cup and Champions League titles for him practically on his own what has he ever achieved? He royally fucked up at Real Madrid, never won the league at Liverpool and took Newcastle down. The money he spent last year getting them up was mental and even Stevie Wonder could see that they'd never cut it in the Prem with that squad...I do not get the infatuation with him?

Not to mention destroyed a treble winning Inter side that Jose left for him and making a right dogs dinner of Napoli too.

This is the best Gravy Bingo I've ever seen. It has to be a windup, surely?

Aye. Mes que un pasty.
When the fuck have you won anything? And I'm not counting a certificate that your manager didn't even know you'd won, you fuckwits.

You must be logged on to see external links

How about that time you drew 1-1 with Forest? I'm sure he'd love it, LOVE IT, if you told him that one.
Did he? On his own? Fuck me, that's a well paying paper round.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, absolutely. Apart from, you know, every other club in football who'd seen how he'd failed at his last three jobs, passed on him, and he ended up with you jokers because he had nowhere else to go.
Those particular players being a left back (Colback is above average there - he's shit in midfield but decent as a fullback), a keeper (Tim Krul got bizzarely relegated to fourth choice then sent on loan) or striker (I love seeing Mitrovich's face sat on the bench wondering exactly what he's done wrong)
Just can't help yourself. WUR A MASSIVE CLURB AND DESURVE UUROPE LIKE
Didn't notice too many complaints when it was Wonga, despite being vastly more reprehensible. Bet you've got at least one shirt advertising semi-legal loan sharks, if you can see the sponsor under all the gravystains.
He said that your Lord and Saviour St Rafa the Infallible might have to get rid of some of the shit he'd signed on five year contracts and stupid wages he'd wanked all the cash on before he could have any shiny new toys.
The money that stopped you going bust. For fuck's sake, he's the best thing that ever happened to you twats.
Fuck off.
Yeah, but you don't. Every single one of you, on every continent on the planet, is draped head to toe in that shit. Which, again, frequently also advertises horrible loan sharks.
Plump to fat to obese to spherical?
That's because you're laughable.
Always.
Dear God. "Hi, I'm Lee. Could you tell me how hard you would like your hoop licked, Mr Benitez?"
NO AWAY FANS ALLOWED AT THE LANDFILL
Phone boxes, fake funerals, horse punching...you should be OK though because we're not about this season to fuck you AGAIN and let you smash your own city centre up.
Nothing to do with the money. No sir.
I'm confused. I thought you hated Sports Direct?
BOYCOUTT!!!!!

Even I'm bored after all that. What a pair of fuckwits we both are, Paul Nicholson. You mag twat.

Another brilliant Post. love it.

 

[Jersey_Mackem]

I got through 3 paragraphs, which when all things are considered was not a bad effort.

 

[FTM_SAFC]

But you should remember:

WE are the reason Rafa decided to stay at the club.

Absolute top class

Why are they worried he might walk? It was all down to them he stayed. They have nothing to worry about

 

[Anth9ftm]

bloke started at my work last week was telling everyone to look at the open letter on the chronicle website, saying he wrote it. I've just showed him it from this link that it was wrote by a Paul Nicholson, he's now claiming he gave it to him to take the credit.

 

[DaveH]

The time to be bold was NOW. The time to listen to those that know was NOW. The time to make a footballing statement was NOW The time to maintain the growing momentum and feel-good factor was NOW

I do love that bit. Was - describes something in the past, now - the present. 'Is now' or 'was then' but not 'was now'.

I know a few Liverpool fans who describe Benitez's time with them as 'threw lots of money round overpaying for average players, threw them on the pitch with no real game plan but for a while there was enough quality there to see us bag a couple of trophies.'. They don't see him as a master tactician.