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SMB Film Thread 2026


A handful of utterly unremarkable offerings…

Inside Job (1946)

A shop worker is blackmailed to steal from his workplace, but he decides to bypass that and keep it for himself, aided by his wife.

Mildly interesting crime drama that pressed home the message that you can’t avoid justice, even if you’re showing redemption.
5/10

10 to Midnight (1983)

Charles Bronson hunts down a serial killer who commits his crimes bollock naked. All the classic Bronson tropes are here: uncompromising policeman, jogging in a chase and still catching a sprinting enemy, summary justice. There’s an unrelenting Cannon naffness that’s ghastly yet amusing, with cheesy ham acting and stilted scripting.
As a film it’s 3/10 but I liked it as a throwback to 80s video store memories. 5/10.

Port of New York (1949)

Scott Brady and Yul Brynner yarn about smuggling vast quantities of drugs on the SS Florentine. Not bad, but nothing special. Brynner is icy and there’s a decent fight or two for the era.
5.5/10

Close Up (1948)

A fashion photographer inadvertently snaps a man coming out of a bank. He’s a Nazi living under an assumed name, and he wants the footage found before he gets recognised. Cheap and reasonably distracting, but utterly forgettable.
4.5/10
 
Drive - Ryan Gosling vehicle (ahem). Dullest “thriller” I’ve watched in ages. Good cast, duff movie. Not sure it deserves the apparent acclaim it’s garnered. 4/10
 
Superman 2025 2/10
Utter shite, where do I a start? Another superman movie that we didn't need, the bloke that plays him, the suit,a f***ing super dog, cgi rubbish. Someone has put this together and thought aye, that's mint, that's exactly what they need. Rubbish
 
xmfd said:
Project Hail Mary

9/10

Really good adaptation of a really good book. Nailed it.
Fist my bump.
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Just been to see it, loved it 9/10 also, would have been 10/10 if they'd used rocky's voice from the audio book.

Probably the first film adaption where nothing has disappointed me from the book/audio book.

Actually really looking forward to watching it again.
 
League Wan said:
Superman 2025 2/10
Utter shite, where do I a start? Another superman movie that we didn't need, the bloke that plays him, the suit,a f***ing super dog, cgi rubbish. Someone has put this together and thought aye, that's mint, that's exactly what they need. Rubbish
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I liked this film. But your negative reviews are class 😆 Don’t ever change, Mr Wan!


Cockney Mackem said:
I'll just leave this here

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I quite like the 1997 Drive with Mark Dacascos. Cheesy as owt.
 
Doogie Hauser said:
I liked this film. But your negative reviews are class 😆 Don’t ever change, Mr Wan!



I quite like the 1997 Drive with Mark Dacascos. Cheesy as owt.
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Sorry I just get fuming when I waste my time. I think my patience is wearing thin. I can watch some old films over and over again but these newer ones? Dear me
 
League Wan said:
Sorry I just get fuming when I waste my time. I think my patience is wearing thin. I can watch some old films over and over again but these newer ones? Dear me
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I get what you mean mate. I have a soft spot for superhero stuff, unashamedly so. I do find that generally CGI-heavy films sacrifice everything else for apparent spectacle. That’s been an issue since the mid-90s.

As people can probably tell from all the stuff I put in here, 95% of my viewing habits these days involve films from the 1930s to the 1990s.
 
Doogie Hauser said:
I get what you mean mate. I have a soft spot for superhero stuff, unashamedly so. I do find that generally CGI-heavy films sacrifice everything else for apparent spectacle. That’s been an issue since the mid-90s.

As people can probably tell from all the stuff I put in here, 95% of my viewing habits these days involve films from the 1930s to the 1990s.
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I was a sucker for those type of films , sometimes just to show off (to myself) the TV and sound system, stuff like transformers were visually class and the sound made it even better. Then they brought out transformers 8 or Spiderman 9 and the novelty has worn off for me. Hard to find something new and fresh as everything has been done or done better before.
 
League Wan said:
I was a sucker for those type of films , sometimes just to show off (to myself) the TV and sound system, stuff like transformers were visually class and the sound made it even better. Then they brought out transformers 8 or Spiderman 9 and the novelty has worn off for me. Hard to find something new and fresh as everything has been done or done better before.
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I remember trying to convince myself in the late 90s that all of these CGI dominated films were better than anything that had gone before because they were more ‘realistic’. What a bellend. Totally suckered into the Emperor’s New Clothes.

Gradually they revealed themselves to be shallow and soulless. I spend years trying to argue that The Lost World was better than Jurassic Park because it had more dinosaurs and action. Even though alarm bells about that stupid ending were sounding, I pushed them to one side. I remember my Mam saying that it wasn’t a patch on the first film - that only the trailer/cliff scene was worthy of the first film, because it had actual tension and didn’t rely on too many effects. It wasn’t until years later I realised she was right.
 
Monty Pigeon said:
Jafar Panahi triple bill:

The Mirror (1997) 10/10
I think this is now my favourite Panahi film. A young girl tries to go home across Tehran after her mother fails to collect her from school. Half way through, the girl breaks character, has a strop, and says she doesn't want to be in the film anymore. For the remainder, the crew surreptitiously follow the 'real' girl as she completes the journey. Full movie here:
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This Is Not a Film (2011) 9/10
Made by Panahi in his own apartment in Tehran when he was under house arrest. Who else could turn putting the rubbish out into a rousing finale?
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The Circle (2000) 8/10
Opens with a prison-like window in a maternity hospital, ends with a prison-like window in a prison. The narrative is passed between several female protagonists, illustrating the plight of women in Iran. For once with Panahi, the message gets in the way of the film. Full movie here:
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I saw him on The Daily Show, he was funny, I had a look at his catalogue... he deserves a bit of time I think... thanks 😃
 
Peaky blinders The immortal man (Netflix)

Was looking forward to this then seen the storyline and knew it would be daft and gash.

I’m nee pro but sound editing was awful, whispering then massive loud music which was irritating.
Rebecca Ferguson was lifting as some gypsy woman, terrible accent. The usually brilliant Stephen Graham looked bored, Tim Roth collecting a little payday playing a comic book baddy and even Ciaran Garn through the motions. Barry K was decent first half of film.

Felt cheap, predictable. Badly written and some dodgy directing.
Cobra gives it a 2/10 aka utter wank
 
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