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SMB Film Thread 2025

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Jurassic World: Rebirth – 6/10

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“Hungry? Why wait”

The longest Snickers advert I’ve ever seen.

After a shockingly bad opening that is rushed beyond belief, we get dropped into more of the same Jurassic World sequel nonsense. For the first 45 minutes I was gutted as it retains the same goofy tone from Fallen Kingdom. I was under the impression that this was going to be a tonal reset for the franchise, but this is just more of the same f***ing slop. Not only is it crap, but it looks like shit too. From a pure cinematography POV, it looks horrible. Faces are constantly hidden in shadow and like many modern blockbusters, it looks cheap as hell. It was in 1 star Dominion territory for a good while.

I’m relieved to report that once the Spinosauruses show up, it starts to pick up and gradually morphs into a fun, Jurassic Park 3 style adventure B-movie. There are plenty of exciting set pieces with lots of new exotic beasts, but no matter how many genetically altered dinos they shove down our throats, it’s always the OG T-Rex steals the show.

It’s not one for the nitpickers who can’t switch the critical part of their brain off. People are constantly saying and doing stupid things. Characters inexplicably escape the snapping jaws of giant monsters at least 20 times. Dinosaurs hold off from attacking the more morally rounded members of the cast to allow them ample time to escape. The little girl is so bad at acting, they only give her three lines. But, hey, it’s a 7th Jurassic Park film released in the age of shit blockbusters. It’s exactly what you should expect and about as much as you could hope for.

They make turds. They do make turds. It’s up to whether you decide to pinch your nose or gleefully roll around in it.
 

DJ Doubt said:
Jurassic World: Rebirth – 6/10

Logon or register to see this image


“Hungry? Why wait”

The longest Snickers advert I’ve ever seen.

After a shockingly bad opening that is rushed beyond belief, we get dropped into more of the same Jurassic World sequel nonsense. For the first 45 minutes I was gutted as it retains the same goofy tone from Fallen Kingdom. I was under the impression that this was going to be a tonal reset for the franchise, but this is just more of the same f***ing slop. Not only is it crap, but it looks like shit too. From a pure cinematography POV, it looks horrible. Faces are constantly hidden in shadow and like many modern blockbusters, it looks cheap as hell. It was in 1 star Dominion territory for a good while.

I’m relieved to report that once the Spinosauruses show up, it starts to pick up and gradually morphs into a fun, Jurassic Park 3 style adventure B-movie. There are plenty of exciting set pieces with lots of new exotic beasts, but no matter how many genetically altered dinos they shove down our throats, it’s always the OG T-Rex steals the show.

It’s not one for the nitpickers who can’t switch the critical part of their brain off. People are constantly saying and doing stupid things. Characters inexplicably escape the snapping jaws of giant monsters at least 20 times. Dinosaurs hold off from attacking the more morally rounded members of the cast to allow them ample time to escape. The little girl is so bad at acting, they only give her three lines. But, hey, it’s a 7th Jurassic Park film released in the age of shit blockbusters. It’s exactly what you should expect and about as much as you could hope for.

They make turds. They do make turds. It’s up to whether you decide to pinch your nose or gleefully roll around in it.
Click to expand...
I actually didn’t mind it tbh but still would be around 6.5/7 range. Enjoyed the call backs to the first movie. It was a decent popcorn flick tbh screen 2 at the Omniplex has been done really nicely, was loads of kids in yesterday normally annoying but enjoyed being in the cinema with kids that would be my age when I saw the first one and they were shouting and going wow 😂 again I’d be annoyed normally in a movie but this is meant to be watched like that. Fun night out we went to koji before and was disappointed in it tbh wasn’t the best.
 
Jurassic World Recycled Rebirth (2025)

A patchwork quilt of stolen scenes from other movies.

I realised while watching this I'd internalised the narrator from the CinemaSins YouTube channel...


"First line of dialogue to be heard in the background is "How many times are we going to keep doing this?" - a question we all keep asking every time they announce a new Jurassic World movie."
5 minutes into the film, star character turns down dangerous illegal dino-related job offer.
"Roll credits."
"'Character changes mind about dangerous illegal job after being told how much money they'll earn' cliché".
"'Stereotypical corporate bad guy is established as a bad guy by not wanting to waste time to save innocent people' cliche".
"'Sample of live animals needed to cure deadly disease' plotline lifted directly from Deep Blue Sea."
"'Chasing the creature with boat while at the end of a bow pulpit with a rifle' scene lifted directly from Jaws".
"'Don't use the radio to call for help' scene lifted directly from Jaws."
"'Stereotypical corporate bad guy is established as a bad guy by not saving an innocent person again' cliche".
"Is it just me, or are mosasaurs and spinos a lot smaller than they were in the previous movies?"
"Murderous dinosaurs are in the water, so let's all jump in the water!"
"Body hanging from tree at convenient snacking height but for some reason not eaten".
"Also, was that a reference to Jurassic Park 3, or to Predator?"
Cut to people sitting around in the dark in the jungle talking...
"Ah yes, it's Predator."
"Bronto reveal scene from Jurassic Park but BIGGER!"
"And they called it titanosaurus love".
"'Kid befriends baby dinosaur and takes it with her everywhere' cliché"
"'Scary dinosaur scared away by scarier dinosaur off-camera' cliché".
"Innocent people escape certain death without being eaten!"
"500 metre fall from cliff somehow doesn't kill someone due to convenient tree branches and..."
"River ex machina".
"The amazing disappearing T-Rex trick!"
"Also, whatever happened to the footsteps of these things being so heavy that they caused impact tremors in puddles? This one just tip-toed away without the characters hearing where it went?"
"Giant carnivorous bird is somehow incapable of catching food. A fraction of its size. In its own nesting area!"
"Remember those scary ground-based creatures from the first movie? Well now they can FLY! Thank you, Tremors franchise."
"Kitchen raptor scene lifted directly from the original movie. Wait, was that even the same sound sample of the ladle falling on the floor?"
"Rancor monster scene lifted directly from Return Of The Jedi but with smaller dinos."
"Actual Rancor monster."
"'Only bad guy in the movie meets grisly end' cliché!"
"'Waving a flare to get the big bad dino monster to chase you' scene lifted directly from the original movie."
"'Innocent character's absolute certain death scene with absolutely no chance of escape happens off-camera' cliché"
"No wait, innocent character somehow survived, with absolutely no explanation given for how he escaped!"
"Sailing off into the sunset across the ocean in a tiny powerboat."
"'Everyone relaxes and watches the harmless beautiful natural wildlife' scene lifted directly from the end of Jurassic Park 3, but this time it's dolphins!"


So, overall, very disappointing addition to the franchise. (And I say this as someone who even loved Jurassic Park 3). This is actually the worst one so far. Just a bunch of characters I was never given a reason to like escaping death repeatedly from the least convincing dinos and mutants of the whole franchise. Very few moments of actual scariness, just a load of tedious set-pieces and stitched-together bits of other movies from within the franchise and from elsewhere.

5.5 / 10
 
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Boinger said:
Watched Casino Royale properly (with subtitles, yes I'm that old), having previously only seen it on a dodgy fire-stick, not subtitled and thus not really understanding the plot.

It was a very good introduction for DC as Bond.

A solid 7.5/10.
Click to expand...
Yeah, proper old style/new look.👍

Make my day and give Quantum of Solace some love. 😀
 
Boinger said:
Watched Casino Royale properly (with subtitles, yes I'm that old), having previously only seen it on a dodgy fire-stick, not subtitled and thus not really understanding the plot.

It was a very good introduction for DC as Bond.

A solid 7.5/10.
Click to expand...
Casino Royale is a brilliant film.
It's nee Skyfall but it's very good
 
Anora (2024)

Loved it. Couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Madison was excellent, and I loved that her character was so unpleasant and dislikeable, because I had expected some "Pretty Woman" heart-of-gold cliche before I went in.
 
The Problem with People (2023) - 5/10 - Stuck Amazon on and this was in the recommended section. Pretty average comedy and that's being kind. Harmless and laid back but couldn't wait for it to finish. A nothing movie about an American cousin coming to Ireland to resolve an old family dispute.
 
Bring her Back (2025). Outstanding horror film with a brilliant performance from Sally Hawkins. In my opinion thats an Oscar winner right there (but no chance for horror movies). 8.5/10 coz I almost cried at the end.
 
The Winslow Boy (1999) 8/10
Early 1900s, a boy is expelled from the Royal Naval Academy for stealing a 5-shilling postal order. His father bankrupts the family to prove the boy's innocence in court. Based on a Terence Rattigan play inspired by a real case. Screenplay by David Mamet, who overdoes the English idioms - lots of people saying 'I say,....'.
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The Wiz (1978) 5/10
Blaxploitation musical adapted from The Wizard of Oz, directed by Sidney Lumet - one of the oddest films on his résumé. Some okay songs and dance routines, but both Diana Ross and Michael Jackson fall short in the acting department.
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Munich: The Edge of War (2021) 6/10
Based on the novel by Robert Harris, a thriller based on Chamberlain's meeting with Hitler. The main problem is that the stakes are relatively low - can two former pals, English and German, delay the start of the war? Ulrich Matthes, who was excellent as Goebbels in Downfall, plays a rather gaunt looking Hitler. Jeremy Irons excellent as Chamberlain.
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The Damned (2024)

Tense and atmospheric slow-paced Icelandic/English horror movie. A tiny fishing community in the frozen wilderness is already low on food when a sailing ship is wrecked on rocks across the bay. Choosing not to rescue the sailors because there wouldn't be enough food to go around, the villagers are haunted by their decision and their superstitions play with their minds. Freaky encounters start happening and people start dying. Have the dead come back for their revenge?

Canny.

Not a classic by any means, but one of those "if you watch it alone in the dark and give it your full attention, it'll spook you" kind of movies.

7/10
 
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