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Depression

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Rhubarb said:
Hi everyone. How are we all feeling. I’ve read through the last few pages. And talking on here helps. I’m here if anyone needs a chat. X

Disagree mate. I think talking to people who is going through and feel the same then that helps.

I’ve had counselling many times and talking to sometime who suffers helps more as they understand what your going through. I find people who have not suffered with mental health the worst.
How many times I’ve been told.
Sort yasel out
Do this do that
Stop moping about
What a lot of fuck man. Does my head in.
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"Are you going to cheer up"? Gets to me. As if I'm just in a huff about nowt rather than feeling like I'm losing my sanity. I realise I am not easy to live with or be around but I'm not doing any of it on purpose.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've felt rock bottom for a good few weeks now and really feel as though I wouldn't be missed after the initial shock. I've struggled on and off since I was about 14 years old but for the last year or so there has been no let up. I can't find joy in anything anymore. Everything just seems empty and hopeless. It's two weeks until my birthday and I just don't want to be here to see that birthday. Having kids just makes it so much more complicated.
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Can I ask if you are receiving any professional help or taking any medication. Mood stabilisers or such?

Certainly in terms of any type of therapy it can help us in the moment and in the aftermath but sometimes, every couple of years or so the things you learn in, say CBT need to be re-inforced. Get yourself along to your G.P or mental health practitioner and let them know how much you are suffering.

Also what every other person has said on here, keep posting, keep talking, nothing is taboo on here. Sometimes, someone says something and it can be a slight lifting of the spirits to find someone else feels a bit like how you are feeling and imagine what you would say to them to bring them back. Do that too and for yourself.
 
CPLforever said:
Can I ask if you are receiving any professional help or taking any medication. Mood stabilisers or such?

Certainly in terms of any type of therapy it can help us in the moment and in the aftermath but sometimes, every couple of years or so the things you learn in, say CBT need to be re-inforced. Get yourself along to your G.P or mental health practitioner and let them know how much you are suffering.

Also what every other person has said on here, keep posting, keep talking, nothing is taboo on here. Sometimes, someone says something and it can be a slight lifting of the spirits to find someone else feels a bit like how you are feeling and imagine what you would say to them to bring them back. Do that too and for yourself.
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I've never had an professional help or anti depressants etc. I don't think they would help. I've tried making appointments withy GP and been fobbed off which is frustrating.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've never had an professional help or anti depressants etc. I don't think they would help. I've tried making appointments withy GP and been fobbed off which is frustrating.
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God this makes me sick to my stomach the amount of people who face a brick wall whilst in crisis and begging for help.

The irony is that sometimes to get help you have to really push for it, be dogged, always describe your worst day and your worst feeling. However by the time you get to that stage you can be so bloody exhausted that you haven't got it within you to do it..

I was lucky (?) from early on I have had good G.P.'s who have helped and supported me and who have pushed hard to help me access the right treatments.

I know you are knackered and disillusioned but keep pushing......and keep talking on here.
 
CPLforever said:
God this makes me sick to my stomach the amount of people who face a brick wall whilst in crisis and begging for help.

The irony is that sometimes to get help you have to really push for it, be dogged, always describe your worst day and your worst feeling. However by the time you get to that stage you can be so bloody exhausted that you haven't got it within you to do it..

I was lucky (?) from early on I have had good G.P.'s who have helped and supported me and who have pushed hard to help me access the right treatments.

I know you are knackered and disillusioned but keep pushing......and keep talking on here.
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I've never managed to get past the receptionist. Phoning to try and get help for mental health issues and getting interrogated by the receptionist isn't easy. I've ended up hanging up on multiple occasions.

I've enquired about going private for a separate issue because of it.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
You need to try them first mate, at least give yourself that. I am back in the UK in a few weeks and finally going to give them a good run, never really been on more than a month.
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Absolutely this. I sort of treat medication as a sort of way to keep a baseline. Keep myself steady while I sort of wait it out or get on a more even keel (if that makes any sense).

Medication doesn't start suddenly making me happy but it it stabilises my mood so I can function in the day to day.

I know it doesn't suit everyone and others can't get away with it, but I agree with sentiments above. At least give it a try.
 
CPLforever said:
Absolutely this. I sort of treat medication as a sort of way to keep a baseline. Keep myself steady while I sort of wait it out or get on a more even keel (if that makes any sense).

Medication doesn't start suddenly making me happy but it it stabilises my mood so I can function in the day to day.

I know it doesn't suit everyone and others can't get away with it, but I agree with sentiments above. At least give it a try.
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2nd line is key like, I can deal with unhappiness, and usually have, but I am properly fucked here like, just cant function, like even just struggling to cook a meal, its ridiculous man. Just keep me stable and my mind not all over the place.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
2nd line is key like, I can deal with unhappiness, and usually have, but I am properly fucked here like, just cant function, like even just struggling to cook a meal, its ridiculous man. Just keep me stable and my mind not all over the place.
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I've been able to manage in the past. I am quiet in general so don't talk to people much at work but I'm actually gritting my teeth or biting my lip to try and keep it together at the minute. It's absolutely awful.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've never managed to get past the receptionist. Phoning to try and get help for mental health issues and getting interrogated by the receptionist isn't easy. I've ended up hanging up on multiple occasions.

I've enquired about going private for a separate issue because of it.
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You know you can phone NHS 24. 111. They have mental health practitioners on standby as well and someone will phone you back. This will get added to your medical records......the fact that you have reached out in crisis. That then should make it easier for you to get an appointment. Like I say you have to be a bit pushy and ruthless. I know it's exhausting but shite as it is, squeaky wheel gets the oil.
 
CPLforever said:
You know you can phone NHS 24. 111. They have mental health practitioners on standby as well and someone will phone you back. This will get added to your medical records......the fact that you have reached out in crisis. That then should make it easier for you to get an appointment. Like I say you have to be a bit pushy and ruthless. I know it's exhausting but shite as it is, squeaky wheel gets the oil.
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When I get back should I do this or ring GP, well if I can bloody last that long. And then you just try a certain tablet for a month or something?
 
CPLforever said:
You know you can phone NHS 24. 111. They have mental health practitioners on standby as well and someone will phone you back. This will get added to your medical records......the fact that you have reached out in crisis. That then should make it easier for you to get an appointment. Like I say you have to be a bit pushy and ruthless. I know it's exhausting but shite as it is, squeaky wheel gets the oil.
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I know my attitude is crap but I'm at the point of not wanting help. I just want everything to stop.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
When I get back should I do this or ring GP, well if I can bloody last that long. And then you just try a certain tablet for a month or something?
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I would if you can phone your GP in the first instance always, and hopefully yours is a bit better than some of the ones that get mentioned on here.

Like I said earlier always describe your worst day and your worst feelings be absolutely straight forward and brutal. Most medication can take a couple of weeks before you start feeling any benefits (a less chatic head).

Also remember to ask (cos maybe your G.P won't volunteer) to be referred to mental health services with a view to some sort of talking therapy.
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I know my attitude is crap but I'm at the point of not wanting help. I just want everything to stop.
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Your attitude isn't crap, you are bloody exhausted and can't see a way forward at the moment. One positive in all of this though is that you can come on here and you are able to talk about it. Just doing that, writing it down can help you sort out your thoughts and hopefully seeing it written down and reading it back later might calm your mind some.

Keep posting, keep talking. There is always someone on here who will reach out to you.
 
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Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've never had an professional help or anti depressants etc. I don't think they would help. I've tried making appointments withy GP and been fobbed off which is frustrating.
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You live in Co Durham don't you? Sorry if I'm mistaken as I've got menopause brain fog! You can self refer here:

You must be logged on to see external links

There's a waiting list and it's hit and miss who you get. I didn't like the man who did the last help I got, but the lady I've got this time is amazing. That's a personal thing though - you might click with the man and find him helpful!

There's several groups on at the Beacon if you want to travel through there - Andy's Man Club, Space North East, Not a Statistic. I've met the men from all three groups and they're all really canny. You'd be most welcome at any of them. Shane from Not a Statistic was saying the other night that they all pass people between each other as they realise it's not a "one size fits all" thing. Eg if you went to his group and didn't feel comfortable, he'd be happy to pass you to Andy's Man Club or Space. None of them will mind if you went to one group and decided it wasn't for you and wanted to try another one.

There's more local groups and other stuff too if you think it would be helpful. Don't feel alone. We can help you find something depending on what you think would work for you. Take care pet xx
MustardAndOnions said:
When I get back should I do this or ring GP, well if I can bloody last that long. And then you just try a certain tablet for a month or something?
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See above! Where do you live and we'll see what we can find in your area.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I know my attitude is crap but I'm at the point of not wanting help. I just want everything to stop.
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Is there a reason why you're avoiding being tested for autism?

Sorry if I've got this wrong, but I think it was you who mentioned that your son had it and that you suspected you might have it because of being very quiet and some other things.

At the very least, it will let you know that you're not going mad, you just have a brain that works differently. It might also allow you to claim benefits if it gets really bad and you need a break from work.

IIRC you're in your 30s or 40s and for those at the high functioning end of this disorder, who have been working and trying to manage a relationship and raising children, burnout is extremely common.
 
Becs said:
You live in Co Durham don't you? Sorry if I'm mistaken as I've got menopause brain fog! You can self refer here:

You must be logged on to see external links

There's a waiting list and it's hit and miss who you get. I didn't like the man who did the last help I got, but the lady I've got this time is amazing. That's a personal thing though - you might click with the man and find him helpful!

There's several groups on at the Beacon if you want to travel through there - Andy's Man Club, Space North East, Not a Statistic. I've met the men from all three groups and they're all really canny. You'd be most welcome at any of them. Shane from Not a Statistic was saying the other night that they all pass people between each other as they realise it's not a "one size fits all" thing. Eg if you went to his group and didn't feel comfortable, he'd be happy to pass you to Andy's Man Club or Space. None of them will mind if you went to one group and decided it wasn't for you and wanted to try another one.

There's more local groups and other stuff too if you think it would be helpful. Don't feel alone. We can help you find something depending on what you think would work for you. Take care pet xx


See above! Where do you live and we'll see what we can find in your area.
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That's great Becs, nothing like a bit local knowledge and you sound like a girl in the know xx
 
Hendon Mad Frog said:
Is there a reason why you're avoiding being tested for autism?

Sorry if I've got this wrong, but I think it was you who mentioned that your son had it and that you suspected you might have it because of being very quiet and some other things.

At the very least, it will let you know that you're not going mad, you just have a brain that works differently. It might also allow you to claim benefits if it gets really bad and you need a break from work.

IIRC you're in your 30s or 40s and for those at the high functioning end of this disorder, who have been working and trying to manage a relationship and raising children, burnout is extremely common.
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I'm not against being tested for Autism but isn't it really difficult to actually get the appointments to get it done? My son isn't officially diagnosed but all his teachers from nursery to year 2 have told us they think he is. I am 39 so the last paragraph is relatable to me.
Becs said:
You live in Co Durham don't you? Sorry if I'm mistaken as I've got menopause brain fog! You can self refer here:

You must be logged on to see external links

There's a waiting list and it's hit and miss who you get. I didn't like the man who did the last help I got, but the lady I've got this time is amazing. That's a personal thing though - you might click with the man and find him helpful!

There's several groups on at the Beacon if you want to travel through there - Andy's Man Club, Space North East, Not a Statistic. I've met the men from all three groups and they're all really canny. You'd be most welcome at any of them. Shane from Not a Statistic was saying the other night that they all pass people between each other as they realise it's not a "one size fits all" thing. Eg if you went to his group and didn't feel comfortable, he'd be happy to pass you to Andy's Man Club or Space. None of them will mind if you went to one group and decided it wasn't for you and wanted to try another one.

There's more local groups and other stuff too if you think it would be helpful. Don't feel alone. We can help you find something depending on what you think would work for you. Take care pet xx


See above! Where do you live and we'll see what we can find in your area.
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Thanks. I'll have a look at that link when I'm home. I'm classed as Sunderland so not sure if I'll be eligible.
 
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Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I'm not against being tested for Autism but isn't it really difficult to actually get the appointments to get it done? My son isn't officially diagnosed but all his teachers from nursery to year 2 have told us they think he is. I am 39 so the last paragraph is relatable to me.
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It's not difficult to get appointments, it's just that on the NHS it can take a while to get the final assessment where you get a diagnosis or not. In some areas it's 6 months, in others 2 years, but obviously the sooner you can get the ball rolling the better.

You can also go private if you have the money, but it'll cost you a few thousand.

I know it's easier said than done, but the worst thing you can do is do nothing. It's clear that these issues are seriously affecting your life, you just need to be more firm with the GP receptionists as some of them are definitely on a power trip with trying to gatekeep people's problems and almost belittle them into thinking it's not enough to be seen.

You've told us above that you've had thoughts about not being here anymore, that's more than enough for a receptionist to give you an appointment.
 
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