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Depression

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Many days the only positive interactions I have with people other than my kids is on here. I'm very shy and quiet in real life and I suppose I use this place as a safety blanket in some way. Not a healthy way to live.

Anyway woke up today and things feel even worse. Feel like I could sleep got a week but have responsibilities unfortunately.
Just gonna say it

Am very much this way.

On the surface am very quiet, always nice, take a lot - but hide a lot

But am very guilty of letting off steam on here ..... Because I probably don't have anywhere else to do it

Is some very kind people on here for sure and I probs don't exactly warrant kindness at times on the SMB

Anyway, it helped me back from the brink (whatever brink I was really at am not sure) this last week

Is a marked difference on this thread (and a related one) just lately with people struggling and that's awful

To paraphrase Loppers - maybe we can all do it, somehow, in fits and starts

(Am also shit at expressing myself 🤣)
 
Regrettably I’ve not looked at this thread for a while.

Some posters on it I always recognise and have had thread conversations with.
Try not to punish yourself with the time of year that can place unnecessary pressure on people, new starts, this “fake” perfect World etc.

Just a message to everyone, please try and stay strong, the most important and best gift of all is often very close to you and just need to refocus to realise this.

Some wonderful people post on this forum but one thing nobody is better than anyone else. Plenty of good people offering support.
 
I've had a good cry on the settee today with the dog. Hes just looking at me as though I'm stupid like.
No, he's looking at you going "are you OK dad" bit like the rest of us, hoping you are ok and reminding you to be kind to yourself. Funny time of year this and for all the twinkly lights about can be a very dark time for some.
Regrettably I’ve not looked at this thread for a while.

Some posters on it I always recognise and have had thread conversations with.
Try not to punish yourself with the time of year that can place unnecessary pressure on people, new starts, this “fake” perfect World etc.

Just a message to everyone, please try and stay strong, the most important and best gift of all is often very close to you and just need to refocus to realise this.

Some wonderful people post on this forum but one thing nobody is better than anyone else. Plenty of good people offering support.
Good description of the "unrealness" of the season.
 
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I feel your pain.
Try more exercise during the day when you feel sleepy and less caffeine. There's music that's meant to help you sleep as well
Haven't left the house today. That won't have helped. Taking the kids out tomorrow then going to take the dog out for an hour. Haven't had much caffeine today as I ran out of milk after my second coffee of the day.
 
Can't keep my eyes open during the day and can't settle on a night. Done in.

Have you tried the Calm app? I play that on a night to help me drop off. You can try it for 14 days for free but make sure you cancel if you don't like it to avoid being billed.


Or I've got a 30 day guest pass that I can gift to you. If you want that, send me a PM and I'll send it over. I've got five passes if anyone else wants to try it.
 
Can't keep my eyes open during the day and can't settle on a night. Done in.
You seem to be in a difficult position, try Gaz's suggestion. I was also going to suggest exercise & chop the caff. Being outside in fresh air might also help, it also activates your brain which can make you feel tired.
I drink a bit sometimes to help me nod off, I really shouldn't :confused:
Hope you manage to get some shut eye my love xx
Having a drink usually activates the brain, but some do relax better with a peaceful drink before bed. I suppose it depends on what & how many a person has. One has a nasty habit of turning into 2, 3, etc which blows it out of the water because the head runs riot after a few drinks & returns you to the not good sleep nights.
Haven't left the house today. That won't have helped. Taking the kids out tomorrow then going to take the dog out for an hour. Haven't had much caffeine today as I ran out of milk after my second coffee of the day.
As a start, avoid the coffee (which keeps you awake). Keep the dog out for a bit longer so you aren't at a point of having another coffee, alternatively drink something else. Break the mould, it seems to me from your posts that you rely on coffee for whatever reason. Is it a safety/reassurance place?
 
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You seem to be in a difficult position, try Gaz's suggestion. I was also going to suggest exercise & chop the caff. Being outside in fresh air might also help, it also activates your brain which can make you feel tired.

Having a drink usually activates the brain, but some do relax better with a peaceful drink before bed. I suppose it depends on what & how many a person has. One has a nasty habit of turning into 2, 3, etc which blows it out of the water because the head runs riot after a few drinks & returns you to the not good sleep nights.

As a start, avoid the coffee (which keeps you awake). Keep the dog out for a bit longer so you aren't at a point of having another coffee, alternatively drink something else. Break the mould, it seems to me from your posts that you rely on coffee for whatever reason. Is it a safety/reassurance place?
I do generally drink too much coffee just out of habit so will have developed a reliance on it over the years.
 
Can't keep my eyes open during the day and can't settle on a night. Done in.
So you have a few coffees during the day to be awake which then reflects with your built-up caffeine created inability to sleep.
I do generally drink too much coffee just out of habit so will have developed a reliance on it over the years.
I would definitely suggest kicking the caffeine into touch. it will take a short period for it to clear your system, but caffeine has a very similar effect to alcohol for some people. You've answered the issue yourself with that post ^
 
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I used to drink about 6 or 7 cups per day, these days I probably have about 2 max.
Haven't had any today but half a dozen is usually a minimum. I'm nackered but hoping to just rough it today and get myself straight to bed after the darts tonight. Once I managed to dose off last night the dog ended up unsettled so I was up and down with him all night. I'll be glad to be back at work next week to try and get some routine back because I'm shite if left to my own devices.
 
Just found this thread and have had a good read through it.

Lots of different scenarios and people, but the common theme is we all feel low at various points, some of us struggle more than others to deal with that due to various factors. I went through a bought of anxiety a few years back where I dreaded ringing up/ contacting people like insurance companies etc and it was getting to the point that it was effecting my decision making. I don't have a trigger for this nor do I have an explanation of how it went away.

Things I've found for me

1. As I've got older in age I express my feelings more. Find someone you can just tell how you're feeling. And don't hold back. Just let it all out.

2. Cut out alcohol for a while. Not just for its mind effects. It's a sure fire way of gaining weight - which then adds to the mental aspect of feeling like shit when you look in the mirror/ clothes don't fit.

3. Johari window. This was brought to my attention by a HR person. It's used in workplaces by GOOD hr people who know what they're doing, BUT, it's also a good way of researching yourself and finding out how you're presenting yourself to others (people hide things and this comes across as being aloof or a bit of a tit, when you're actually the opposite). Google it.

4. Read. Books. No pressure on yourself. Fiction or non fiction on something you enjoy. Then keep doing it. Read in different places. Take the book to the beach, on a bus, to a park. Read it there. That, for me, has led to me moving into academia. Currently sat doing a diploma which I never ever would have considered a few years ago. It's reduced the stress and also introduces you into a new field of people.

5. Gym/run. Couch to 5k. Wander around the gym. Don't take your phone in. Build it up. Set goals. You'll soon see the same people in there and people watch, learn new exercises, natural endorphin release.

Whatever you choose to do. Just remember, there's only one of you and we all fail at things regularly. It's human nature. Learn from the fail and use it to move forward.
 
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Haven't had any today but half a dozen is usually a minimum. I'm nackered but hoping to just rough it today and get myself straight to bed after the darts tonight. Once I managed to dose off last night the dog ended up unsettled so I was up and down with him all night. I'll be glad to be back at work next week to try and get some routine back because I'm shite if left to my own devices.
Them dog things can be a right pain, but we wouldn't do without them. The dog will probably also be looking forward to a bit of peace without you so he can have his own routine back :D ours are like that.

Good man for staying away from the caffeine.
 
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