Faux pas (that you got away with)

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Curlyteeth said:
Early in our relationship I introduced my wife to someone and said my ex girlfriends name. I still have one testicle
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I had a permanent fear of this at the start of current relationship

Relationships with ladies that share the same letter of their first name is a bad idea.

Should really have been on the lookout for another Laura
 


got sent the vid of that wall climbing with a scottish instructor and a participant whose false leg drops down

"don't stop cos ya leg fell off"

someone had then edited the instructors phrase into michael jackson's "don't stop til you get enough"

i went to send it to a scottish pal, whose name begins with "R"

i actually sent it to a pal, also whose name begins with "R", but who'd lost part of his lower leg, a year or so before this

:oops::eek::eek::eek::eek:

thankfully, he saw 'the funny side'.
 
td586 said:
got sent the vid of that wall climbing with a scottish instructor and a participant whose false leg drops down

"don't stop cos ya leg fell off"

someone had then edited the instructors phrase into michael jackson's "don't stop til you get enough"

i went to send it to a scottish pal, whose name begins with "R"

i actually sent it to a pal, also whose name begins with "R", but who'd lost part of his lower leg, a year or so before this

:oops::eek::eek::eek::eek:

thankfully, he saw 'the funny side'.
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Not politically correct but well funny...
 
I was delivering a seminar on employment law and the guy who was scheduled to deliver the next session, on disability discrimination arrived unexpectedly early through a side door.

I said “oh hello. I’m afraid you’ve caught me rather on the hop!”

Some of you will be ahead of me.

Yep

He had one leg.
 
I was doing work for a man who owned a Chinese takeaway, he was from Hong Kong, he told me he had a leak on a pipe which was drive him mad, I sympathized and said” Yes it’s like Chinese torture” 😳!
 
My mate had loads of girlfriends before he got married , was always calling the latest one the name of the last one,
 
I saw a lass I'd known for years on the piss. Me being slightly drunk said "bloody hell you've lost loads of weight, have you got AIDS"

I intended to give a backhanded compliment but I've had better moments. I got some shocked looking faces around me :oops:
 
monkeytassle said:
You've not changed at all have you. Still a humourless, bitter individual. Enjoy your life. And you can shove your apology right into your massive fat head.
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Irony not a strong point of yours I assume?
 
I asked for a Faux pas haircut once, she didn't know what I was saying so I said just cut it any way you want.
 
Aituk7 said:
A colleague was on autopilot talking to her boss a few weeks back and while trying to finish the call mistakingly said "love you, bye"
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Somebody said that to me yesterday.

You could tell they thought they may have got away with after they tailed off.

They didn't 🤣
 
a1970man said:
I was at a wedding and met a lass my wife works with, her husband and both of their two little kids.

It's important at this point to say that they were and Afro Caribbean family.

Any hooooo, we were chatting away having a few laughs when their little boy (about 2) was playing and fell over next to me.
I jumped up and picked him up as he gave himself quite a shock, and I said .....

"Come here ya little monkey, what have you done there"

It took a couple of second to twig (it's something I've said to my kids for years) and I thought SHIT, what the F**** have you just said.
I spun around to my wife and this couple just staring, open jawed at me.

I started to try and save myself, explaining that I didn't mean it like that etc, I was going purple with embarrassment.
All three of them just burst out laughing at the sight of me in absolute panic.
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Not sure why you would have felt like that. It’s an everyday term for kids. Shouldn’t make any difference what colour they are...
 
Clean Bristow said:
20 mins ago in a work teams meeting my line manager said '' I stand corrected'' and I jumped straight in with ''in your orthopaedic shoes''...a silence came about and I had to explain it.
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They have just used a version of that on Radio Newcastle, does that mean you are mainstream now Bristow?
 
Bumped in to a lass I hadn’t seen for years, used to go to my junior school and live across the road to me. Asked her when the baby was due, heart sank as soon as I said it and seen the look on her and her mates face.
 
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