Elf's Journey Home - A Christmas Video I Made

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Lexingtongue said:
Ideally, I'd like feedback on the images and pictures as I plan to have it printed as a book some time after Christmas.
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I thought that visually, it was lovely. But as the pages turned so quickly - and I'm a quick reader - I didn't get the chance to linger. But the colours and images are really appealing. Best of luck with it.
 
Lexingtongue said:
Unfortunately I had to do the artwork myself as getting someone to do them for me would have cost me an arm and a leg. I'm pretty happy with what I have, like, bearing in mind the audience and my limited talent in that regard. Most of the festive image ideas I got from wrapping paper designs. :lol:


Yeah, but I need to find either a publisher or a company that will print it for me which will take a bit of time.
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look at those who are the best at this stuff Julia Donaldson, Johnny Duddle, Rob Scotton, Oliver Jeffers, Axel Scheffler, Korky Paul their stuff is all about quirky style particularly in the artwork. Doesnt have to cost the earth just look at jeffers or lauren child
 
Son of Stan said:
I thought that visually, it was lovely. But as the pages turned so quickly - and I'm a quick reader - I didn't get the chance to linger. But the colours and images are really appealing. Best of luck with it.
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I'll see about putting a longer version on. I had each page on for 20 seconds at first but that seemed to drag it out for me. I'd appreciate your feedback on the text if you can be arsed to use the pause button to hold each page? Thanks for the positives on the images. :)

Goat Eyes said:
Get a kid to read it, you’ll get some honest feedback that’s for sure.
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Yeah, I've sent it to a few with positive results so far. My friend is reading it to her year 2 class tomorrow as well, so more on the way.
 
Lexingtongue said:
Unfortunately I had to do the artwork myself as getting someone to do them for me would have cost me an arm and a leg. I'm pretty happy with what I have, like, bearing in mind the audience and my limited talent in that regard. Most of the festive image ideas I got from wrapping paper designs. :lol:


Yeah, but I need to find either a publisher or a company that will print it for me which will take a bit of time.
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Offer it to a charity for a 50% cut/donation
 
Lexingtongue said:
I'll see about putting a longer version on. I had each page on for 20 seconds at first but that seemed to drag it out for me. I'd appreciate your feedback on the text if you can be arsed to use the pause button to hold each page? Thanks for the positives on the images. :)


Yeah, I've sent it to a few with positive results so far. My friend is reading it to her year 2 class tomorrow as well, so more on the way.
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Had another, slower read. If I'm being picky I would say make the first page simpler, the American page too as there's a lot of text on that one. It reads better when it's simpler and the elf has input. I like the Russian dancers with their powerful legs. Should the Japanese page not say geisha(s)? I think I'd also like another page at the end with the emphasis being put on the elf feeling good/happy with his achievement. Just a thought as I was expecting another page. Just shows that I was enjoying it. :lol:
 
Lexingtongue said:
I'd love it if you could show it to your kids and let me know if they enjoyed it. I'd appreciate feedback from any adults who watch it, too. ;)

Hope you enjoy it and Merry Christmas!


Pictures and words both done by my good self.
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too quick mate , sorry gave up , oh , and no sound ?
 
Lexingtongue said:
I've tried to do voice over today but my mic is terrible and the results were awful. I'm seeing if I can get a better mic to see if that sorts the issue out.

Thanks for the feedback on the text. The white writing actually has a stroke around it on every page so, when you view the book in its original size (I had to reduce it massively due to YouTube restrictions), it is easily legible.
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I've checked my speakers and still nothing. I will format the fucker next.

But yeah, you should surely get some.narration/audio in there.
 
kossoff said:
I've checked my speakers and still nothing. I will format the fucker next.

But yeah, you should surely get some.narration/audio in there.
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Yeah, I'm planning to get a high quality mic and narrate it. Was going to stick some Christmas background music on it but couldn't find anything license free and appropriate.
 
daventry cat said:
Artwork needs to by more unique/idiosyncratic(looks a bit bargain bookish)
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I thought they were the best thing, impressed the lad did them himself

and the rhyme is hard work in places, look at julia donaldson she doesnt use much text at all and shes the queen of this stuff.
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Spot on. The rhymes are fine until the elf starts his world tour then the page is a wall of text. Donaldson is the best I've seen at writing bairns poetry and one reason is that she keeps it short and snappy.
 
Goat Eyes said:
Get a kid to read it, you’ll get some honest feedback that’s for sure.
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My friend showed her year 2 class and said this:

Just finished reading it to Year 2. Not a single sound from them throughout (which is unheard of!). they loved the illustration of the elf sticking out of the sack and his legs hanging out of the chimney. They spotted the rhyme by the third page.

Comments from the children were: it was fabulous, really funny, super. They also liked working out the different countries the elf visited. Overall a resounding success!
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Happy enough with that!
 
RestlessNatives said:
You need to slow it down a touch mate. Pages are turning too quickly for me and I've got a reading age of at least seven.
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Arkle said:
Fixed the above sentence for you... beyond that, I agree with @RestlessNatives, it's a struggle to keep up with the text.
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Right, I've done a video that is longer, but it's only up on Facebook as I couldn't edit the one on YouTube. Also, there is a HD option so those hard to read bits shouldn't be a problem any longer. Can check it here if you have an account. Would appreciate if any of you lot like or share the page: www.facebook.com/elfsjourneyhome.

Fetch Fletch said:
Need to keep this thread going as I'm going to show a couple of bairns this over Christmas
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Cheers, mate. If you pop me a PM with your email in I'll send you a link to the PDF version. It's 79mb, though, so it'll be from my Google Drive.

Nipple Salad said:
I thought they were the best thing, impressed the lad did them himself



Spot on. The rhymes are fine until the elf starts his world tour then the page is a wall of text. Donaldson is the best I've seen at writing bairns poetry and one reason is that she keeps it short and snappy.
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None of the young ones I've shown it to so far have mentioned too much text, but I'm about to show a few more, so if it comes up regularly I can see about removing a couplet from the travel pages. It'll be painful to do, mind, as each verse took a lot of hard work to come up with. :lol:

vidal baboon said:
Can you not get a SMB'ism in there ?

SEB, format the fucker, shit in her knicker draw etc
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I'll see what I can do. Is there anything tamer than the usual ones, though? There are a few Easter eggs in there for a few other people, too. The mountains on the American page, for example, are from North Carolina after a friend asked me to include their state.

:)
 
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