foggy
Striker
6 hours connected to me metal Mickey while it pumped in me poison via the old heart port, spaced out on drugs and have a sweaty head. Think it should be 2 blokes sat on a rock next to a tree like Waiting for Godot
Mag Bastard (working title)
Rough around the edges and just material at the moment so in no particular order. I've ran it past a couple of mags for historical accuracy and been called a c u n t while they are trying to insert their version of events.
I'm sorry like but I'm the Playwright so there'll be no Mackem slayers, Pink Lanes (and they will lose, badly, if I write it in anyhoo), key ownership, pink seats or blue f***ing pop.
Featuring a made up representative of the Geordie Nayshun or 50000 Screaming Geordies. Pick one shit cliche.
"So some Geordies support Sunlun? How’s that leyke?
Yes it's true Mag Bastard. We have no problems with Geordies, a fair few support us. And look at Bob man we made a statue, Steve Bruce is just silly
Wa the toon army. Wa crowds couldn’t have been shite anarl before 1992. What did happen before 1992 anyhoo? Is that when Tony sat in the Gallowgate?
And by the way before I forget, yall nivver see a Maccum in Milan.
Yes mag bastard but we are of course an even older club, once The Bank Of England Club, this was a long time ago admittedly, before they set interest rates and whatnot.
Our biggest crowd is more than yours. You have more cups. We have more Championships. Which is much better and more important obviously.
1-9. Still a record away score in the top flight. You upset us at half time with a penalty that was never a fuckin penalty to make it 1-1. We declared at 1-9 with 15 minutes to go. I don’t care if it was over 100 years ago, it’s fresh in my mind
Your bridge is older than ours, however, ours is on its third version. The first one was over a hundred years before yours. Plus our water is clearer and our fish are better swimmers.
But wa beat Barcelona ya knar. Man United‘s are wa rivals noo. Asprilla’s a fuckin Geordie anarl. Tino Tino.
Yes mag bastard. Ronnie Radford. Willie McFaul. John Motson!!!!!!! Superdrunk in tears.
Dennis Wise. Youtube. Gonzales. Boycoutt the fuckin Cockernees. Keegan’s left wer. Them divvent understaaand
What about Freddie Shepherd. Shirley Temple. Mary Poppins and the Quayside Dogs?
Steven meanwhile didn’t handball. He was just acting out the Platoon poster.
We may employ sex offenders but that’s ok because he scored the winner in the last minute. Anyway she looked older (and er I think I’ll leave this one out)
6 in a row. Magnificent 7 if you include the young ‘uns. Which I do. Obviously.
You lot had a song about your Big River. Sunderland however was The Biggest Shipbuilding Town In The World. Our output almost matched the entire United States of America at one point so Jimmy Nail can go and shove his Crocodile Shoes up his arse.
Sunderland has a plane named after it.
Asamoah’s arse. In injury time.
Gary Rowell mag slayer and much better at penalties than Mickey Gray. We all live in a Gary Rowell world. Number one is Gary Rowell. Number 2 is Gary Rowell. And so on. Half time interval with 11 Gary Rowells singing, linking arms, doing the can-can like a Monty Python set. A rousing number, bound to get a standing ovation before the usherettes come down the aisles with the overpriced ice-cream.
Stan Cummins and Kieran Richardson. Net busting heroes a few short years apart when beating you lot at home. I love Stan. Scored loads against Burnley, had a picture in the Northern Echo with the ball. And ok he didn't quite burst the net like Kieran but who can from a yard out? Eh? My favourite player. Stan 1 that is, not imposter Stan 2 the return, I didn't recognise him...
Lee Howey’s brother is indeed a c u n t.
The boxing section
Alan v Keith. Pick up them spoons you Irish c u n t. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Bud the horse v the benefit cheat who thinks he’s in Blazing Saddles. Seconds oot. Ding ding
Andy v Steven. That’s wor fuckin lass you c u n t. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Kieron v Lee. Pass the f***ing ball you c u n t. Barry is the ref. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Pitch invading bad f***ing losers. Tried to do a Forest cos it worked then. Stopped by an invisible barrier on the half way line. The coppers had the 18 yard line secure just in case the invisible barrier had a malfunction. Mickey Quinn is a fat c u n t. Gan on Marco. Special mention to Hardyman for brain damaging Budgie in the first leg.
But wa took the Fullwell leyke and wa had at least 100000 in the paddocks to watch Gillingham send ya doon. But wa not obsessed leyke (this thread has no irony at this point, it's a Play which will go no further once my drugs have stopped messing with my head)
Aye but Sunlun are gannin doon. Someone dropped fifty pence on the pitch at the Stadium of Shite ya knar. Daft fuckin Maccums thowt it woz a tak ower bid. Were git funny us leyke
Quinn and Phillips section . To the tune of 'We’re singing in the rain'. Ruud - Alan yer shite. And you anarl Duncan you big Scottish c u n t but you’re going on before Weetabix. Ooh Bally Bally also wins the crossbar challenge to rub it in.
Shearer say hello to Tommy the Viking. We do indeed always win 2-1
The glorious 96 section - nee offence Liverpool. This is not about you just like the t-shirt wasn't
It's about 'The 12 Point Lead'. Hello Eric Cantona. Hello Stan Collymore. And a great big HELLO to Graham Fenton doing a Mendonca. But he’s a Geordie? Does he not understaaand? I’d luv it if we beat them. Well yers fuckin didn’t so gan back to the Fairs Cup which, while not even being recognised by UEFA, you shouldn’t have been in, after qualifying by being in 10th place, under the one team per town rule, which stretched its other name as the Runners Up Cup to the limit. Beating a Hungarian pub team is nowt to shout about. So dig out your Intertoto certificate and stick the fucker on the wall with blu tac or drawing pins. Frame the fucker if you like. (may have gone overboard with the pub team, they beat some canny teams but that doesn't fit in obviously)
Dinnar how it ends - I'm shit on finale's - anyway I'm off me tits so will read this back later and think what the fuck was I thinking and ask the mods to delete. Again...
Mag Bastard (working title)
Rough around the edges and just material at the moment so in no particular order. I've ran it past a couple of mags for historical accuracy and been called a c u n t while they are trying to insert their version of events.
I'm sorry like but I'm the Playwright so there'll be no Mackem slayers, Pink Lanes (and they will lose, badly, if I write it in anyhoo), key ownership, pink seats or blue f***ing pop.
Featuring a made up representative of the Geordie Nayshun or 50000 Screaming Geordies. Pick one shit cliche.
"So some Geordies support Sunlun? How’s that leyke?
Yes it's true Mag Bastard. We have no problems with Geordies, a fair few support us. And look at Bob man we made a statue, Steve Bruce is just silly
Wa the toon army. Wa crowds couldn’t have been shite anarl before 1992. What did happen before 1992 anyhoo? Is that when Tony sat in the Gallowgate?
And by the way before I forget, yall nivver see a Maccum in Milan.
Yes mag bastard but we are of course an even older club, once The Bank Of England Club, this was a long time ago admittedly, before they set interest rates and whatnot.
Our biggest crowd is more than yours. You have more cups. We have more Championships. Which is much better and more important obviously.
1-9. Still a record away score in the top flight. You upset us at half time with a penalty that was never a fuckin penalty to make it 1-1. We declared at 1-9 with 15 minutes to go. I don’t care if it was over 100 years ago, it’s fresh in my mind
Your bridge is older than ours, however, ours is on its third version. The first one was over a hundred years before yours. Plus our water is clearer and our fish are better swimmers.
But wa beat Barcelona ya knar. Man United‘s are wa rivals noo. Asprilla’s a fuckin Geordie anarl. Tino Tino.
Yes mag bastard. Ronnie Radford. Willie McFaul. John Motson!!!!!!! Superdrunk in tears.
Dennis Wise. Youtube. Gonzales. Boycoutt the fuckin Cockernees. Keegan’s left wer. Them divvent understaaand
What about Freddie Shepherd. Shirley Temple. Mary Poppins and the Quayside Dogs?
Steven meanwhile didn’t handball. He was just acting out the Platoon poster.
We may employ sex offenders but that’s ok because he scored the winner in the last minute. Anyway she looked older (and er I think I’ll leave this one out)
6 in a row. Magnificent 7 if you include the young ‘uns. Which I do. Obviously.
You lot had a song about your Big River. Sunderland however was The Biggest Shipbuilding Town In The World. Our output almost matched the entire United States of America at one point so Jimmy Nail can go and shove his Crocodile Shoes up his arse.
Sunderland has a plane named after it.
Asamoah’s arse. In injury time.
Gary Rowell mag slayer and much better at penalties than Mickey Gray. We all live in a Gary Rowell world. Number one is Gary Rowell. Number 2 is Gary Rowell. And so on. Half time interval with 11 Gary Rowells singing, linking arms, doing the can-can like a Monty Python set. A rousing number, bound to get a standing ovation before the usherettes come down the aisles with the overpriced ice-cream.
Stan Cummins and Kieran Richardson. Net busting heroes a few short years apart when beating you lot at home. I love Stan. Scored loads against Burnley, had a picture in the Northern Echo with the ball. And ok he didn't quite burst the net like Kieran but who can from a yard out? Eh? My favourite player. Stan 1 that is, not imposter Stan 2 the return, I didn't recognise him...
Lee Howey’s brother is indeed a c u n t.
The boxing section
Alan v Keith. Pick up them spoons you Irish c u n t. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Bud the horse v the benefit cheat who thinks he’s in Blazing Saddles. Seconds oot. Ding ding
Andy v Steven. That’s wor fuckin lass you c u n t. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Kieron v Lee. Pass the f***ing ball you c u n t. Barry is the ref. Seconds oot. Ding ding.
Pitch invading bad f***ing losers. Tried to do a Forest cos it worked then. Stopped by an invisible barrier on the half way line. The coppers had the 18 yard line secure just in case the invisible barrier had a malfunction. Mickey Quinn is a fat c u n t. Gan on Marco. Special mention to Hardyman for brain damaging Budgie in the first leg.
But wa took the Fullwell leyke and wa had at least 100000 in the paddocks to watch Gillingham send ya doon. But wa not obsessed leyke (this thread has no irony at this point, it's a Play which will go no further once my drugs have stopped messing with my head)
Aye but Sunlun are gannin doon. Someone dropped fifty pence on the pitch at the Stadium of Shite ya knar. Daft fuckin Maccums thowt it woz a tak ower bid. Were git funny us leyke
Quinn and Phillips section . To the tune of 'We’re singing in the rain'. Ruud - Alan yer shite. And you anarl Duncan you big Scottish c u n t but you’re going on before Weetabix. Ooh Bally Bally also wins the crossbar challenge to rub it in.
Shearer say hello to Tommy the Viking. We do indeed always win 2-1
The glorious 96 section - nee offence Liverpool. This is not about you just like the t-shirt wasn't
It's about 'The 12 Point Lead'. Hello Eric Cantona. Hello Stan Collymore. And a great big HELLO to Graham Fenton doing a Mendonca. But he’s a Geordie? Does he not understaaand? I’d luv it if we beat them. Well yers fuckin didn’t so gan back to the Fairs Cup which, while not even being recognised by UEFA, you shouldn’t have been in, after qualifying by being in 10th place, under the one team per town rule, which stretched its other name as the Runners Up Cup to the limit. Beating a Hungarian pub team is nowt to shout about. So dig out your Intertoto certificate and stick the fucker on the wall with blu tac or drawing pins. Frame the fucker if you like. (may have gone overboard with the pub team, they beat some canny teams but that doesn't fit in obviously)
Dinnar how it ends - I'm shit on finale's - anyway I'm off me tits so will read this back later and think what the fuck was I thinking and ask the mods to delete. Again...
