Would you rather your child...

Bullies when i was a kid are now all shit houses either on the dole or digging holes and then simply getting pissed all weekend with no prospects.
The mrs will have to deal with our kids and school if they are bullied as i will be no good.
 


Makcem Crihs said:
Either you dont have kids or have never witnessed actual bullying because that is an ignorant comment tbh


I've fortunately never been bullied but have witnessed some bad cases of it through school, I think people don't realise the extent it affects people
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On the contrary my stepdad "bullied me" badly mainly due to my body dysmorphia and although at the time it made me down now its made everything I get thrown at me water off a ducks back. Now I tell things how they are
 
Lionel Hutzz said:
Bullying imo is much more prevalent in girls and women do you ever notice in the workplace average women and chubsters go out of their way to be nasty about the wads of the office?
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Endemic! I work in a female dominated environment and it has ever been thus.
 
sambantam82 said:
Endemic! I work in a female dominated environment and it has ever been thus.
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Theres a stunningly pretty girl in my work and all the 3 kids by 30 types all go out of their way to be horrible to her on the sly saying her clothes are fake and that she's gagging for lads etc. Wouldn't care she's a pleasant and shy girl only about 26
 
Always taught mine to never put up with being bullied and to never be a bully. As grown ups neither of them put up with any shit and treat others with respect.
 
This is a good social experimental question.
There would have to be some background questions like, did the person answering ever get bullied/was a bully? That could sway the thought process a lot. Did they have siblings or close family members that experienced one or the other?

My opinion is rather my kid be bullied but then it depends to what extent. When I was bullied at school it was over after I got off that bus. Today’s kids have no way out
 
safcforever said:
This is a good social experimental question.
There would have to be some background questions like, did the person answering ever get bullied/was a bully? That could sway the thought process a lot. Did they have siblings or close family members that experienced one or the other?

My opinion is rather my kid be bullied but then it depends to what extent. When I was bullied at school it was over after I got off that bus. Today’s kids have no way out
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Yeah fair one, never really thought to much about it before posting as it was a conversation I was having with the mrs after a recent spate of bullying at my sons school
Lionel Hutzz said:
On the contrary my stepdad "bullied me" badly mainly due to my body dysmorphia and although at the time it made me down now its made everything I get thrown at me water off a ducks back. Now I tell things how they are
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That is abuse rather than bullying really though, I was talking about kids being horrible to kids
 
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Very hard as bullying can lead to a lot of mental health problems down the line. Not every kid will build resilience from being bullied. I also wouldn't want the kid to be a c**t. Genuinely can't answer this one.
 
TicoTorres said:
Stupid f***ing thing to say.

This “man up” bollocks is why mental health amongst males is at scary levels
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It was a slightly tongue in cheek remark but I do think there is some merit in facing up to challenges and dealing with them. Instead of crying into a tissue and sharing your feelings. Kids need small shocks and knocks so they can become more resilient and less fragile.
 
Harry Angstrom said:
It was a slightly tongue in cheek remark but I do think there is some merit in facing up to challenges and dealing with them. Instead of crying into a tissue and sharing your feelings. Kids need small shocks and knocks so they can become more resilient and less fragile.
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With respect, that's nonsense. That has been what is expected of men since time began, and we're now in an era where suicide is one of the biggest killers of men because they do no feel able to open up. There is still a taboo around this that says that males need to "man up" and not have feelings. Many mental health problems stem back to being at school and being bullied or abused in some way. They bottle it up and then all of a sudden things become too much. Sharing feelings and crying is facing up to challenges and dealing with them. I doesn't make them less of a man.

The term "man up" should be parked up alongside racist slurs because of the damage that it can do.
 
TicoTorres said:
With respect, that's nonsense. That has been what is expected of men since time began, and we're now in an era where suicide is one of the biggest killers of men because they do no feel able to open up. There is still a taboo around this that says that males need to "man up" and not have feelings. Many mental health problems stem back to being at school and being bullied or abused in some way. They bottle it up and then all of a sudden things become too much. Sharing feelings and crying is facing up to challenges and dealing with them. I doesn't make them less of a man.

The term "man up" should be parked up alongside racist slurs because of the damage that it can do.
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As I say it was tongue in cheek but I am from the old school of being brought up. Maybe I'm lucky because despite being brought up on a council estate in being in secondary school in 70s I got away fairly unscathed.
I have been with people who have gone through difficulties and I think I was of some help but the best advice I'd give to a kid being bullied is fight back even if you get a beating. Bullies soon look for the next easy target.
 
Harry Angstrom said:
As I say it was tongue in cheek but I am from the old school of being brought up. Maybe I'm lucky because despite being brought up on a council estate in being in secondary school in 70s I got away fairly unscathed.
I have been with people who have gone through difficulties and I think I was of some help but the best advice I'd give to a kid being bullied is fight back even if you get a beating. Bullies soon look for the next easy target.
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That's good - pleased that you've managed to come away without any real damage.

I'd never say don't defend yourself when being picked on, on the contrary in fact. It's just the term "man up" that gets me and that not doing so shows a sign of weakness. In truth, we all have weaknesses and it takes a stronger person to be able to open up and admit they have problems rather than bottle them up before it becomes too late. It's telling that every time the Tyne Bridge is closed it's because a man has climbed up threatening to jump. Very rare, if ever, is it a female.
 
Makcem Crihs said:
This is why I was so torn but went with the bully option because if I found out they were i can fix that, its more difficult to fix your child being bullied
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That depends on how handy you are yourself. My mate got bullied at school. Told his dad who went round to the bullies house and kicked fuck out of his dad in front of his kid. The bullying stopped instantly.
 
Harry Angstrom said:
So we are essentially saying the same thing.
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Well not really. You're saying "man up" and stop being emotional about things and share your feelings. You can do both, stand up to a bully and open up to a professional/family member/friend about whatever it is that ha scarred you emotionally or physically.
 
TicoTorres said:
Well not really. You're saying "man up" and stop being emotional about things and share your feelings. You can do both, stand up to a bully and open up to a professional/family member/friend about whatever it is that ha scarred you emotionally or physically.
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To be fair you are right, I'm not a fan of feelings being shared. I prefer the stuff upper lip approach to life.
 

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