Worst injury you've had

Status
Not open for further replies.
Knelt on a mucky gripper rod in a scruffy shitty house and missed me kneepads completely.straight into me knee, infection ensued followed by a hospital stay and iv antibiotics type hilarity. Felt like me knee was being pushed apart from the inside. I've had that and several kidney stones passed whole. Give me the f***ing stones pain anyday of the week
 


Titanium plate in my lower back. They cut me open at the front popped my internals out and did the procedure from the front.
Broken shoulder twice.
Run over as a 5year old and had part of my ear stitched back on.
Hole in leg from a surfing incident.
Fist up the arse. Prostate exam honest.
 
SydneyFan said:
Titanium plate in my lower back. They cut me open at the front popped my internals out and did the procedure from the front.
Broken shoulder twice.
Run over as a 5year old and had part of my ear stitched back on.
Hole in leg from a surfing incident.
Fist up the arse. Prostate exam honest.
Click to expand...

Fist you say, makes a change from the normal fingering I suppose.
 
Broken shin from the first day I had a 6 speed bike as a lad and decided to bomb it down the overpass to see what its all about.

Did both bones in my forearm at the same time on another occasion, thankfully nowt ligament related or that required an op to set.
 
2 inch laceration of my knee when I was 15 after going down a water slide in me mates back garden and colliding with a metal washing line pole that had been sawn off to a stump. Me mates dad must have felt pretty bad when I think back like. Nothing else major to report really other than self inflicted injury to me nut sack from the snip.
 
I decided I could get two heavy teak double wardrobes down the stairs myself.

The first one was not much bother. I just took its weight from below and it came down one step at a time. As I was half way down with the second one, it suddenly started to slide. I knew there was no way to stop it so I got out of the way by turning sideways. Unfortunately I went crashing through the banister backwards like in a cowboy fight and landed in the hallway on my back.

That wouldn't have been so bad, but my legs jammed between the wardrobe and the bottom stair post, which got smashed and bent over 45 degrees. The entire weight of the wardrobe was pushing against my legs and I couldn't get them out. The filthy, rusty nails had ripped my leg open and I was bleeding all over. There was bits of flesh on the nails!

The missus (no) comes out of the sitting room and says 'Oh! Is there anything I can do?'

Now, I'm paraphrasing somewhat to clean things up, but my reply went something like, 'thank you my dear, could I possibly trouble you to take the weight of the wardrobe off my darned legs?'

Anyhoo, the result was a destroyed banister, bottom post and rails, lacerations and extensive bruising all over both thighs and buttocks, and several stitches in a deep gash in my thigh. Driving myself to hospital with blood running into my socks was tremendous fun. I've got a lovely scar to remind me not to be a dick. I still don't know how my legs didn't break.

The thing is, the wardrobe survived without any damage. Even when it went crashing down the stairs when I got my leg free, it remained unscathed. The wardrobes went to the heart foundation IIRC, so every cloud, etc.
 
Three come in roughly equal here for me:

1) Aged 7, riding my mate's bike (a Tomahawk) rapidly down hill. Discovered the brakes didn't work (a minor detail he didn't tell me). Tried to slow by turning into a side street. Misjudged turn and hit kerb. Flew over handlebars and landed chin first, splitting it. Ouch with stitches. The hospital (Ingham Infirmary in Shields) coated the stiches in something meaning they were stupidly difficult to take out, which added insult to injury.

2) Aged 15, on holiday in Denmark and cycling around with my sister and some kids we'd met on holiday, we stopped to talk to people (our two sets of parents, I think). I started to climb back on the bike but hadn't realised I'd managed to get both feet on the same side of the frame, started to fall, tried to correct myself and fell the other way, breaking my arm. Unlike everywhere else in Denmark, pretty much nobody in the hospital spoke English except the doctor who confirmed the break and set my arm. Had to communicate in pidgin German, which must have been reasonavle as the doctor was told we were German. When we spoke English, he said "Thank God, you're not German!".

3) As I've posted before, as an adult, in a rural hotel in Brazil teaching a half day course before a conference. We were late getting there so didn't check into the hotel until after the course ended. Walking through the hotel, my foot started to feel wet. I looked down and my shoe was filling with blood. I'd managed to stab myself in the leg with my suitcase. Asked my colleague for a sticking plaster and he took one look and said "That's going to need more than a plaster!". Hospital for several stiches.
 
Broken leg
Broken arm
Smashed me ankle ligaments to bits which stopped me playing footy and still bothers me now with pain. Been back the docs they've give me physio which done nowt it needs an op I reckon but can't be arsed to go back.
Had a bad couple of concussions when I a kid, one I fell and hit my head off a table the other I came of my bike head first into a road.
 
I'd only been walking for a couple of months, was about 13 months old, at me nana's in Doxford Park - picked up two glass Sykes pop bottles to carry out to the pop man and tripped ower the front step. Landed on said bottles and ended up ripping me little hands to shreds...canny few stitches etc but can't remember it obviously.
 
AndyGray1985 said:
A doctor accidentially ruptured my esophagus during a procedure on a broken leg. 5 weeks in coma and 3 months in hospital. A year to recover.
Click to expand...
Now my anatomy is not what it used to be, granted, but seeing as your esophagus is internal and you leg is diametrically opposite an external two questions spring to mind,
What was he trying to do while you were knocked out and how wide must his lass`s smile be? :eek::lol:

Can`t believe no ones picked up on that yet either :lol:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top