Ciro_DiMarzio
Striker
Mine calls me a dirty bastard everytime he delivers a parcel to me.Every postie you ever speak to is stressed to high heavens.
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Mine calls me a dirty bastard everytime he delivers a parcel to me.Every postie you ever speak to is stressed to high heavens.
I remember once at this place the young lad from our shift had been on holiday in the carribean and brought sone very strong rum back so we put him in a cage and lifted him to the roof in a forklift and he wasn’t allowed down until he drank all of the rum ……… he was left there in the dark most of the night while we checked on him now and again. He drank some of the rum vomited everywhere and looked very poorly…….. we panicked let him down and sent him home early…….. thank god he was ok and came back in the next night for his shift !!!
I can back you up on that mate. Actually saw that happen in Defiance in Devonport.I've got a fairly tame one from my navy days. Worked on nuclear submarines and we would get new lads by snapping and cutting open a few green cyalume glow sticks (used when walking around the casing at night when surfaced), pouring the contents into a glass and leaving it in some random place (junior rate mess, control room, bunkspace etc).
Someone would say "fucks sake! The back afties have left their primary reactor coolant sample lying around again. Oy, new lad. Take this back to the engine room and tell them not to leave it where it will give us all cancer and/or superpowers"
They would all trot off and carry an uncovered glass of what they thought was a bright green glowing and highly radioactive liquid through the submarine with a terrified look on their faces"
Sorry if anyone was after something more like the lad from the Jean Paul Gaultier aftershave adverts getting bummed half to death. Never saw much of that surprisingly.
Had to get your head shaved if you sailed over the equator for the first time
Still got my certificate marra.For my crossing the line ceremony I got dunked into some gameshow type duck tank filled with water and kitchen scraps in the Marines bar on Diego Garcia. Then had to bite the head of a raw fish before being presented a certificate by a lad dressed as king Neptune who was accompanied by another lad dressed a a mermaid. The certificate said something like
"Proclamation - To all sailors, whales, dolphins, mermaids and creatures of the sea, let it hereby be known that on the date of xxxxx Double Maxim did cross the latitude 0° and has undergone the penalties laid down by his majesty for this crime and paid homage to king Neptune"
I'll grant you, that one was a bit weird but it was a right good piss up.
Got your Port and Starboard mixed up there marraMy last navy dit before I start sounding like Uncle Albert.
We would only have a single pair of work boots and no stores for replacement on subs. Working 6 hour on/6 off your boots would be on your feet all of the time you weren't asleep, 12-18 hours a day.
We would single someone out and every time they were asleep we would put a few drops of green food dye in their right boot and a few drops of red in their left. After a couple of months of sweaty feet and regular reapplication of the food dye the victim would have a red stained right foot (port) and a green stained left foot (starboard) that was deeply ingrained in their skin.
Fuck all they could do about it once they clocked what was happening and knew they would be walking around in flip flops or sitting round a pool looking like a twat once we got ashore.
Are port and starboard the other way round in the Navy?My last navy dit before I start sounding like Uncle Albert.
We would only have a single pair of work boots and no stores for replacement on subs. Working 6 hour on/6 off your boots would be on your feet all of the time you weren't asleep, 12-18 hours a day.
We would single someone out and every time they were asleep we would put a few drops of green food dye in their right boot and a few drops of red in their left. After a couple of months of sweaty feet and regular reapplication of the food dye the victim would have a red stained right foot (port) and a green stained left foot (starboard) that was deeply ingrained in their skin.
Fuck all they could do about it once they clocked what was happening and knew they would be walking around in flip flops or sitting round a pool looking like a twat once we got ashore.
Beat me to it!Got your Port and Starboard mixed up there marra![]()
Are port and starboard the other way round in the Navy?
Beat me to it!
Easily done marra.Well done you have both spotted my deliberate mistake.
Typo first one but I got it right on the second reference.
Easily done marra.
Left and right doesn't really matter on a boat anyway shippers. It's up and down you fuckers needed to get right![]()
Nah.Still an embarrassing schoolboy error that took the shine off the story.![]()
They do a lot of test and electronics stuff. Used them a lot back in the day testing coax Ethernet networks. Interesting side fact, BNC connectors are named after British Naval Connectors.I can back you up on that mate. Actually saw that happen in Defiance in Devonport.
Again Navy related. When I was first out of training, I was with my cockney boss working on some comms stuff on the flight deck. There was a break in the cable somewhere and we were under real pressure to sort it so the flying exercises could go ahead.
He told me he needed a piece of kit called a Wayne Kerr to test it.
Me, straight out of the box, and aware of people taking the piss, just laughed at him and said "yeah, right".
He said "no George, go to the stores and get me a Wayne Kerr". Again, thinking I'd sussed his pisstake, I just said " fuck off Chief. Do you think I'm f***ing stupid or something?"
I did eventually, after a massive bollocking in front of sooo many people, go to the stores and brought him the Wayne Kerr test equipment he had so politely requested.
Took me an awful long time to live that one down.![]()
I know that now marraThey do a lot of test and electronics stuff. Used them a lot back in the day testing coax Ethernet networks. Interesting side fact, BNC connectors are named after British Naval Connectors.
Houses of parliament is my guessWhere was it like ffs?Remploy?
Me too......or a Council grass cutter......always looked out the window when doing exams seeing them pottering along with headphones on whistling merrily while I was stressing over some physics calculation or something.Often fancied being a postie myself , stress free , exercise and fresh air![]()
Nah.
Good dit mate.