Workplace Ritual Humiliations of Old


I remember once at this place the young lad from our shift had been on holiday in the carribean and brought sone very strong rum back so we put him in a cage and lifted him to the roof in a forklift and he wasn’t allowed down until he drank all of the rum ……… he was left there in the dark most of the night while we checked on him now and again. He drank some of the rum vomited everywhere and looked very poorly…….. we panicked let him down and sent him home early…….. thank god he was ok and came back in the next night for his shift !!!

:lol: :lol:
 
I've got a fairly tame one from my navy days. Worked on nuclear submarines and we would get new lads by snapping and cutting open a few green cyalume glow sticks (used when walking around the casing at night when surfaced), pouring the contents into a glass and leaving it in some random place (junior rate mess, control room, bunkspace etc).

Someone would say "fucks sake! The back afties have left their primary reactor coolant sample lying around again. Oy, new lad. Take this back to the engine room and tell them not to leave it where it will give us all cancer and/or superpowers"

They would all trot off and carry an uncovered glass of what they thought was a bright green glowing and highly radioactive liquid through the submarine with a terrified look on their faces"

Sorry if anyone was after something more like the lad from the Jean Paul Gaultier aftershave adverts getting bummed half to death. Never saw much of that surprisingly.
I can back you up on that mate. Actually saw that happen in Defiance in Devonport.

Again Navy related. When I was first out of training, I was with my cockney boss working on some comms stuff on the flight deck. There was a break in the cable somewhere and we were under real pressure to sort it so the flying exercises could go ahead.
He told me he needed a piece of kit called a Wayne Kerr to test it.
Me, straight out of the box, and aware of people taking the piss, just laughed at him and said "yeah, right".
He said "no George, go to the stores and get me a Wayne Kerr". Again, thinking I'd sussed his pisstake, I just said " fuck off Chief. Do you think I'm f***ing stupid or something?"
I did eventually, after a massive bollocking in front of sooo many people, go to the stores and brought him the Wayne Kerr test equipment he had so politely requested.
Took me an awful long time to live that one down.🤣🤣🤣
 
Had to get your head shaved if you sailed over the equator for the first time

For my crossing the line ceremony I got dunked into some gameshow type duck tank filled with water and kitchen scraps in the Marines bar on Diego Garcia. Then had to bite the head of a raw fish before being presented a certificate by a lad dressed as king Neptune who was accompanied by another lad dressed a a mermaid. The certificate said something like

"Proclamation - To all sailors, whales, dolphins, mermaids and creatures of the sea, let it hereby be known that on the date of xxxxx Double Maxim did cross the latitude 0° and has undergone the penalties laid down by his majesty for this crime and paid homage to king Neptune"

I'll grant you, that one was a bit weird but it was a right good piss up.
 
For my crossing the line ceremony I got dunked into some gameshow type duck tank filled with water and kitchen scraps in the Marines bar on Diego Garcia. Then had to bite the head of a raw fish before being presented a certificate by a lad dressed as king Neptune who was accompanied by another lad dressed a a mermaid. The certificate said something like

"Proclamation - To all sailors, whales, dolphins, mermaids and creatures of the sea, let it hereby be known that on the date of xxxxx Double Maxim did cross the latitude 0° and has undergone the penalties laid down by his majesty for this crime and paid homage to king Neptune"

I'll grant you, that one was a bit weird but it was a right good piss up.
Still got my certificate marra.
Had to drink something with God knows what in it, eat the fishes head, got dunked by the bears in foul watter and stuff, and had my heed shaved.
About 10 of us that day. We then proceeded to get extremely pissed for the rest of the afternoon, evening, night, happy in the knowledge that it was next stop....Antigua.🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for your taxes guys 🤣🤣🤣
 
Radiation tag when i worked at hartlepool power station

Get a low hit on your overalls cant get out of reactor building til ypu remove them. Then they tag you again if they dont like you
 
My last navy dit before I start sounding like Uncle Albert.

We would only have a single pair of work boots and no stores for replacement on subs. Working 6 hour on/6 off your boots would be on your feet all of the time you weren't asleep, 12-18 hours a day.

We would single someone out and every time they were asleep we would put a few drops of green food dye in their right boot and a few drops of red in their left. After a couple of months of sweaty feet and regular reapplication of the food dye the victim would have a red stained right foot (port) and a green stained left foot (starboard) that was deeply ingrained in their skin.

Fuck all they could do about it once they clocked what was happening and knew they would be walking around in flip flops or sitting round a pool looking like a twat once we got ashore.
 
Having to work till you drop is bad enough never mind having to put up with zany bullies every day. Never experienced it myself but you’d be stuck between a rock and a hard place do you put up with it or do you tell them to fuck off and go head to head with them. I’d imagine they’d probably burst out in tears and try and get you the sack if you did.
 
My last navy dit before I start sounding like Uncle Albert.

We would only have a single pair of work boots and no stores for replacement on subs. Working 6 hour on/6 off your boots would be on your feet all of the time you weren't asleep, 12-18 hours a day.

We would single someone out and every time they were asleep we would put a few drops of green food dye in their right boot and a few drops of red in their left. After a couple of months of sweaty feet and regular reapplication of the food dye the victim would have a red stained right foot (port) and a green stained left foot (starboard) that was deeply ingrained in their skin.

Fuck all they could do about it once they clocked what was happening and knew they would be walking around in flip flops or sitting round a pool looking like a twat once we got ashore.
Got your Port and Starboard mixed up there marra🤣
 
My last navy dit before I start sounding like Uncle Albert.

We would only have a single pair of work boots and no stores for replacement on subs. Working 6 hour on/6 off your boots would be on your feet all of the time you weren't asleep, 12-18 hours a day.

We would single someone out and every time they were asleep we would put a few drops of green food dye in their right boot and a few drops of red in their left. After a couple of months of sweaty feet and regular reapplication of the food dye the victim would have a red stained right foot (port) and a green stained left foot (starboard) that was deeply ingrained in their skin.

Fuck all they could do about it once they clocked what was happening and knew they would be walking around in flip flops or sitting round a pool looking like a twat once we got ashore.
Are port and starboard the other way round in the Navy?
Got your Port and Starboard mixed up there marra🤣
Beat me to it!
 
I can back you up on that mate. Actually saw that happen in Defiance in Devonport.

Again Navy related. When I was first out of training, I was with my cockney boss working on some comms stuff on the flight deck. There was a break in the cable somewhere and we were under real pressure to sort it so the flying exercises could go ahead.
He told me he needed a piece of kit called a Wayne Kerr to test it.
Me, straight out of the box, and aware of people taking the piss, just laughed at him and said "yeah, right".
He said "no George, go to the stores and get me a Wayne Kerr". Again, thinking I'd sussed his pisstake, I just said " fuck off Chief. Do you think I'm f***ing stupid or something?"
I did eventually, after a massive bollocking in front of sooo many people, go to the stores and brought him the Wayne Kerr test equipment he had so politely requested.
Took me an awful long time to live that one down.🤣🤣🤣
They do a lot of test and electronics stuff. Used them a lot back in the day testing coax Ethernet networks. Interesting side fact, BNC connectors are named after British Naval Connectors.

 
Often fancied being a postie myself , stress free , exercise and fresh air 👍
Me too......or a Council grass cutter......always looked out the window when doing exams seeing them pottering along with headphones on whistling merrily while I was stressing over some physics calculation or something.
 

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