Why do people from Newcastle

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Was in Cyprus on hols, and sat in the restaurant at the hotel. It was BBQ night, we arrived a little late and the only outside table left was quite close to the BBQ serving area. All was good then up steps the geordie. In fairness he didn't have a footy top on, just the nufc socks and shorts combined with a manky tshirt. After filling his plate with a gargantuan portion of everything on offer, he began to look a little flustered and immediately accosted a young kitchen hand who was refilling the now empty serving dishes. "Is there nur borgas but?" = a blank expression from the young Cypriot lad. "Ya knar man borgas", "sorry sir, what?" Was the reply. This went on for some time with the geordie fella getting louder and louder and basically just shouting "BORGAS MAN! YA KNAR MAN BIF BORGAS". With total credit to my ex, she sauntered over and simply said "he is asking for a beef burger".

All the sad bastard had to do was speak properly instead of the exaggerated, forced accent he was using and he would've got what he wanted. Instead, he made a complete tit of himself. I pity the thick fuckers, I really do.
 


Bakerlooline said:
Was in Cyprus on hols, and sat in the restaurant at the hotel. It was BBQ night, we arrived a little late and the only outside table left was quite close to the BBQ serving area. All was good then up steps the geordie. In fairness he didn't have a footy top on, just the nufc socks and shorts combined with a manky tshirt. After filling his plate with a gargantuan portion of everything on offer, he began to look a little flustered and immediately accosted a young kitchen hand who was refilling the now empty serving dishes. "Is there nur borgas but?" = a blank expression from the young Cypriot lad. "Ya knar man borgas", "sorry sir, what?" Was the reply. This went on for some time with the geordie fella getting louder and louder and basically just shouting "BORGAS MAN! YA KNAR MAN BIF BORGAS". With total credit to my ex, she sauntered over and simply said "he is asking for a beef burger".

All the sad bastard had to do was speak properly instead of the exaggerated, forced accent he was using and he would've got what he wanted. Instead, he made a complete tit of himself. I pity the thick fuckers, I really do.
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The exaggeration of their already ridiculous accent is what makes them such cretins.
I knew one who was exceptionally bad for it so one day I wrote PURPLE TURBO MOTOR BOAT on a piece of paper and asked him to read it to me.
Needless to say he couldn't do it in his 'accent' immediately.
 
Sneech said:
Like a chattering murmuration of starlings on the wing, they seem to, in complete co ordination, whip out sets of keys and dangle them while hissing 'wheez keyz are theez keys'* then, just as the starlings turn and spin back in the opposite direction they quickly burst into a chorus of 'Toon Army' - which immediately singles them out to be thicker than a sultans carpet.

*they are probably yours, you dimblewitted cunt
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:lol::lol:

Lad I used to work with would say 'hooood' instead of 'hud' (for hood) but would say 'wud' for 'wood'

When I asked him why he pronounced hood that way he said it was because it's spelled with a double 'o', despite wood also being spelled with a double 'o' as well

Go figure
 
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dangermows said:
Remember walking to the shit tip and this fat middle aged bloke followed us on the other side of the police, he was absolutely boiling, veins bursting out of his neck screaming "you eat cheesy chips! you eat cheesy chips!" whilst pointing at me before doing the actions of someone eating chips. f***ing nipple :lol:
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:lol::lol::lol:
 
Stormo said:
This when abroad on holiday. They speak in their shitty accent loudly and then look round to see if anyone heard so they can talk about where they are from.

Berks
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They don't need to talk tbh. They WILL be wearing some nufc related clothing.

Bakerlooline said:
Was in Cyprus on hols, and sat in the restaurant at the hotel. It was BBQ night, we arrived a little late and the only outside table left was quite close to the BBQ serving area. All was good then up steps the geordie. In fairness he didn't have a footy top on, just the nufc socks and shorts combined with a manky tshirt. After filling his plate with a gargantuan portion of everything on offer, he began to look a little flustered and immediately accosted a young kitchen hand who was refilling the now empty serving dishes. "Is there nur borgas but?" = a blank expression from the young Cypriot lad. "Ya knar man borgas", "sorry sir, what?" Was the reply. This went on for some time with the geordie fella getting louder and louder and basically just shouting "BORGAS MAN! YA KNAR MAN BIF BORGAS". With total credit to my ex, she sauntered over and simply said "he is asking for a beef burger".

All the sad bastard had to do was speak properly instead of the exaggerated, forced accent he was using and he would've got what he wanted. Instead, he made a complete tit of himself. I pity the thick fuckers, I really do.
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I Had similar on a KLM flight where one was requiring a glass of coca cola. "Giz a tin a pop" The poor Dutch lass didn't have a clue. Would he fuck actually ask for what it was he specifically wanted. Absolute cretins . :lol:
 
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Is it just me or is every Geordie lass that is on the tele (these reality stars) thick as fuck.

Or is it just an act? Nowt like portraying the stereotypical Geordie lass, thick as a castle wall and being a yo-yo knickered tart after a few drinks.
 
Stormo said:
This when abroad on holiday. They speak in their shitty accent loudly and then look round to see if anyone heard so they can talk about where they are from.

Berks
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Yes ,they actually do that . How f***ing thick do you have to be to do that ? How empty are their lives to make them think anyone would want to talk to the smelly kernts ?
 
Leonard osbourne said:
Surely you don't believe most of this shite.
Is it funny, aye, but it's mostly bollox, with the odd truth thrown in.....
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Haven't read all of it tbf marra, just going off my comments... mags I know do think the joke is we eat cheesy chips (even though the actual joke was originally about how we say cheesy), there is also a large number who call Sunderland supporters Mackems, and Newcastle fans Geordies, regardless of where they were born. And you do punch horses, tbf.

Edit: just read this last page, not far fetched to believe some say merter bert for motor boat and giz a tin a pop when wanting a sugary drink.
 
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dangermows said:
Haven't read all of it tbf marra, just going off my comments... mags I know do think the joke is we eat cheesy chips (even though the actual joke was originally about how we say cheesy), there is also a large number who call Sunderland supporters Mackems, and Newcastle fans Geordies, regardless of where they were born. And you do punch horses, tbf.

Edit: just read this last page, not far fetched to believe some say merter bert for motor boat and giz a tin a pop when wanting a sugary drink.
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Anyone who has ever played or plays for Sunderland is a 'makum bastad'.
 
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