What's the Shortest Amount of Time You've Spent in a Job?



Occam's Razor said:
Benefits system exists to prevent starvation and homelessness unless something catastrophic happens. I've never claimed benefits like, I'd just rather be poor and happy than do anything unpleasant or difficult.
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I have, it's utterly shit. I'd choose the unpleasant or difficult job any day.

Not sure what the rules are about claiming JSA and housing benefit when you have a mortgage and your SO is earning money either. I doubt you can.
 
Just shy of 1 hour.

Applied for a customer service role within Southern Electric, passed the interview, was told the role would be inbound customer service and that I had the job and to turn up on Monday morning.

I rocked up full of enthusiasm, only to be sent to a back room to pick up my uniform of cargo pants, t shirt and big berghaus type jacket. Bit odd for a job on the phones I thought but i'll just go with it.

Next thing I know I'm being handed a clipboard and an address list and told I'm expected to come back with at least 8 new sign ups per shift.

I picked up my bag and jumped straight on the first bus home.

The winter coat was spot on mind, I sewed a patch over their logo and used it for years :lol:
 
Summer job around 1974..working on the metro tunnels in Newcastle..

Lasted one morning. Was an 'Irish' job as I was informed, pleasantly enough.."turn up in the afternoon and you won't be walking home, son."

Enough said.
 
MackneyHackem said:
What does this mean?
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Guessing it means a self imposed work place union? I was talking to a lad who works at our Livingston depot a few years ago who had got a job painting and maintaining the Forth bridge. He said that was the same if you weren't from the same 5/6 families that all worked on the bridge you were exiled in the bothy and people would walk past you like you weren't there.
 
MackneyHackem said:
What does this mean?
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Certain jobs..certain heavy manual labor ones like digging and hauling, were reserved 'unofficially' so to speak for irish navvies..I got work 'cos my mate's dad was an architect on the project and had no clue of what really went on. I was only 16 at the time, a summer job. My grandma was born in County Cork I told them, but that wasn't enough. Nice fellas but they were serious.
 
Six weeks before being made redundant. In hindsight I should have taken the gardening leave but I was hoping to pick up some experience to help me get a job elsewhere. Did another four weeks and learned nowt.
 
3 weeks, 1 day (2 weeks on induction, 1 week, 1 day on production line)

At Nissan, not for me, decided I wasn't going back after my one and only night shift. I just didn't get it, can't go for a piss, stop work at daft O'clock coz targets had been hit, only to come in the next day and have to graft more because the night shift had issues......bloody strange place....

My resignation went something like this:

Nissan Fella in Charge: "See you tonight Leonard"

Me: "No you won't"

Nissan Fella in Charge: "Haha, have a good kip"

Me: "I'm not coming back mind"

Nissan Fella in Charge: "Haha, we will see"

Me: "I Don't think you're listening"

Got home, never went back, numerous phone calls to the house phone asking me why I hadn't come in, when could I get there!!!!

Fair play to anyone who stuck it out, it just wasn't for me.....
 
MackneyHackem said:
The job I have now, they told a canny few porkies about what the job would actually be like, and after the first few days I was convinced I'd made a mistake.

But now having been in the job for a good few months I realise that the positives far outweigh the negatives. It's the best job I've ever had.
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I turned up for a new job and nobody knew who I was or why I was there . They fixed me up with a shit job which I hated . Took me 6 weeks to find another job and get out . That one was shit anarl because the gaffer was an arsehole .
 
Ben Gardner said:
3 days working for some debt collection agency (forget the name) based in an office just off Timber Beach Road in Castletown.

It involved being penned into an office with a load of scratters and literally calling up businesses from the yellow pages and asking if they need my employer to chase any bad debts from customers, suppliers and the like. God it was awful.
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I had that job for 4 weeks . Commission only didn't earn a penny . Got a job soon after that selling security systems realised on the 2nd day that it was a con went for a piss and walked out the door .
 
One day in my first job, working in The Copt Hill in Houghton. They wanted me to work the next day (Sunday) but I said no as we were playing the mags. I didn't get a call back. We only drew anarl.

Prior to the job I'm in now I was at my previous job exactly one year.
 
Left a job in a company that I loved for my current job all in the name of career progression.
4 months in and absolutely sick, taking each week as it comes and waiting for the moment that I can slap that notice on my manager's desk and fuck off.
 
Not me but the lad who was taking over from me. Got issued with his overalls etc. I showed him what his duties were all I could hear off him was "this wasn't what they told me in the interview ". I told him to go to gatekeepers hut to pick some stuff up for me. He was gone ages so I rang the gatekeeper asked whee he was, they replied with he just dropped his ppe gear off and kept walking he lasted 2 hrs
 
4 weeks.

I got a job in 2001 that relied on touristy places like Cumbria, N. Yorkshire, Northumberland etc. The day after I started the foot and mouth outbreak was announced. The usual orders from the touristy areas for the Easter break didn't materialise as the countryside was "closed" indefinitely. Last in first out!
 
Did about 3 weeks in mini call-centre under the north side of Alex bridge

I used to work with their recruitment bloke and he totally oversold the job. reckoned it was gonna be financial advice for the elderly.

Nah, it was cold-calling the over 50s in their own home and trying to talk them into taking up pre-paid funeral plans.

It was demoralising, degrading and disgusting.

Luckily, got 2 job offers elsewhere in week 3. my mistake was telling a "close" friend, so my probation consequently finished with immediate effect.

I'm still in the job I went to, enjoy every minute and earned a mint.
 
Leonard osbourne said:
3 weeks, 1 day (2 weeks on induction, 1 week, 1 day on production line)

At Nissan, not for me, decided I wasn't going back after my one and only night shift. I just didn't get it, can't go for a piss, stop work at daft O'clock coz targets had been hit, only to come in the next day and have to graft more because the night shift had issues......bloody strange place....

My resignation went something like this:

Nissan Fella in Charge: "See you tonight Leonard"

Me: "No you won't"

Nissan Fella in Charge: "Haha, have a good kip"

Me: "I'm not coming back mind"

Nissan Fella in Charge: "Haha, we will see"

Me: "I Don't think you're listening"

Got home, never went back, numerous phone calls to the house phone asking me why I hadn't come in, when could I get there!!!!

Fair play to anyone who stuck it out, it just wasn't for me.....
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Best part of a decade of "sticking it out" for me now :lol:
 
DisillusionedOldGit said:
I turned up for a new job and nobody knew who I was or why I was there . They fixed me up with a shit job which I hated . Took me 6 weeks to find another job and get out . That one was shit anarl because the gaffer was an arsehole .
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I went to Paris for an interview and when I turned up they didn’t know who I was or why I was there.

Horrendous. I told them they could stick their job.
 
3 weeks for me. Was agency though so hours and stuff was horrific. 60 hours a week on minim wage doing physical work. Just went in one Monday and thought fuck this and told the supervisor I was going home and never went back :lol:
 

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