What's the oddest thing you've ever found in your house that you didn't put there?

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I'm Spartacus said:
Years ago I went upstairs and saw my border collie standing on her hind legs looking in the sink. I assumed she was trying to lick drips off the tap or some shit but went over to get her down there was a strange cat sitting in the sink. They were just staring at each other.

A few months later I saw her sitting in the yard with her paw on something, I went to see what it was, it was the same f***ing cat quite happily lying on its back with Jet sitting there resting one paw on its belly. They both just stared at me... It was f***ing weird like...

Oh I just remembered another. I got up for a piss after a heavy session and banged into a men at work sign. I seriously have no f***ing idea how it got there. I hope to fuck I just nicked it when I was pissed and can't remember doing it. For all I know I may have been drugged and gang raped by the men at work boys and that was their calling card.
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They were after a bit mixed race bucking, and you keep disturbing them!
 


dickie mc rich said:
Every tool that was used to fit the kitchen in our house before we bought it, behind the kick boards of the old kitchen when I ripped it out. Drills, screwdrivers saws the lot.
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Used to be a way to hide your tools if you couldn't be arsed to cart them home then back to work again. Wonder why they got left? Mebbes the lad died that neet?
 
I found what i believe was a small incendiary bomb in a rubbish dump in the back yard of our last house that i bought as a wreck and did up. It was rusted to fuck and I chucked it in a nearby skip.
 
dickie mc rich said:
Maybe they had a falling out and got someone else in or finished it themselves. The tile cutter they left weighed a ton and was the bollocks. My gain:cool:
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The poor widow. Bringing those bairns up deprived of not only a loving husband and his wage but of the second hand value of his tools. Shame on you.
 
I found a canary at my old house. Came upstairs and it was sitting in the spare room on the back of a chair just chirping away. No idea where it came from, but we took it to the RSPCA.

There was parts of an old motor bike and some tacky christmas decorations behind the shed. A santa sleigh and plastic reindeer that apparently used to go on the roof each year. They all went to the tip.

I did get jumped on by the neighbours dog one day while on the sofa. It got through the fence, found the back door open and got overexcited by the experience so ran in and jumped on me. It was only a little yorkie.
 
DaveH said:
I found a canary at my old house. Came upstairs and it was sitting in the spare room on the back of a chair just chirping away. No idea where it came from, but we took it to the RSPCA.

There was parts of an old motor bike and some tacky christmas decorations behind the shed. A santa sleigh and plastic reindeer that apparently used to go on the roof each year. They all went to the tip.

I did get jumped on by the neighbours dog one day while on the sofa. It got through the fence, found the back door open and got overexcited by the experience so ran in and jumped on me. It was only a little yorkie.
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and that m'lord conculdes my defence against beastiality
 

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