What's the oddest thing you've ever found in your house that you didn't put there?

Discussion in 'SMB' started by janiep, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. Ha'way man at least try to make it believable
  2. A bag of crusty badly aged and squashed cannabis resin under the landing carpet. Dared my mate to smoke it... he didn’t and we chucked it.
  3. Narraback

    Narraback Striker

    Not in the house but the garden. When me and the missus got our house she charged me with removing the rose bushes from the front garden. I dug out about 50 adjustable spanners in the process. I still have no idea why they were there.
  4. When we went to Stuttgart, our bedroom had photos of the owner's Nazi relations and watercolours he'd done of concentration camps on the wall.
    gillythedilf likes this.
  5. Kevsgreat

    Kevsgreat Striker

  6. Tongey

    Tongey Midfield Contributor

    2 things, we came back from a family holiday when i was younger, to find a male army print thong on the washing line :lol:

    And this -

    which my brother put together after a voicemail my mam left my dad at work :lol:
    Goat Eyes and janiep like this.
  7. Pants

    Pants Winger

    A butt plug.
  8. Duracel Funny

    Duracel Funny Winger

    We moved into a new build in 2005 and after living there for 6 months or so I went into the garage to find a unicycle. No idea how it got there and it wasn’t there before. I’ve still got it now!
    janiep likes this.
  9. What A Waster

    What A Waster Winger

    Found the postman having an afternoon nap in bed with our lass.
    It was nothing suspicious as she says he was just knackered after his deliveries and asked if he could come in and get warm and have a kip.
  10. not me but a neighbour found a Happy retirement card sent to the previous occupants sent from George Best. When he chnaged his kitchen it was down the back of a cabinet

    Stella and Graham the previosu occupants used to be landlords of a pub up in Mayfair for many a year and Bestie was a regualr and a friend. He actually came to the house they retired to a coupel fo occasions.
    Eddie Hitler and janiep like this.
  11. Not especially odd, but just after moving into our run down home, i lifted the ground floor boards. Previous bloke, i think, had decided not to hire a skip when he'd done work to the house. Everything had been stuffed under the joists. Bricks,curtains,old half used bags of cement,curtain rails,an old yard door,an old ornate lamp shade and all sorts of crap. Space was completely full, no air space either so was riddled with dry rot. Had to rip all downstairs floors out.

    Related to OP topic, through the last years i was fitting kitchens, maybe 15 years, on many occasions i've left a piece of paper,timber or plasterboard under some panel or plinth, with "Alan Shearer is a wanker" written on it. I usually signed and dated them.
  12. WildTurkey

    WildTurkey Midfield

    How do you know?
  13. A hen . Nearly shit myself when it spread it's wings .
  14. A black lad called Eddie.
  15. Brian Griffin

    Brian Griffin Winger

    £400 under the carpet.
  16. Nookie Bear

    Nookie Bear Winger

    We found a memory card hidden on top of the boiler right at the back - was a bit wary about viewing it incase it was child porn or something but looks like photos of a bit of extra marital dalliance - clothed
  17. oh a jackdaw in the loft... shit myself. tried to catch it but couldt.. got so close.. thought fuck it I'lldo it tomorrow... it was hot int he loft as it was summer.. went up next day and it was dead..

    felt really bad about it
    Brian Griffin and Kevsgreat like this.
  18. a rabbit - the fluffy kind with big ears, cat must have brought it in
    Flared Hicks likes this.
  19. MooBaaOink

    MooBaaOink Striker

    Nah, he opened them and wrote them a poem.
    Typhoonftm likes this.
  20. vinegar hill

    vinegar hill Striker

    A screwdriver.

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