What's the daftest thing you've done to impress someone?


Went to watch the oscars in a late night coffee shop to try impress this fit European bird,was 19 and still cringe.

Other than listening to dull shite spouted by fit birds I wanted to have sex with nothing that major.
 
Took a lass home and decided I needed to shave the nob area just incase - only I forgot to properly shut the ensuite door and it opened, exposing me with my nob dangling in the sink and me going at it with a razor

That's the kind of story that either goes South or ends with ..."and we've been married for 17yrs now."



Daftest thing I usually do to impress people is doing someone a favour above and beyond what's expected. Normally results in them thinking I'm a pillock rather than be grateful.
One example is briefly - during Covid - working in a shop and staying a little bit longer to help out. Lived above a cafe and their noise didn't die down until after closing and I thought "I'm in nae rush to get back there, I'll help these guys finish up a bit faster." Rather than think I was a good egg, they kind of gave me the side eye.

They're still probably stuck there earning two bob and hour and I'm not, so fuck em.
 
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That's the kind of story that either goes South or ends with ..."and we've been married for 17yrs now."

Notably, she done the absolute smelliest fart I have ever smelled. She was big on garlic, honestly smelled like someone had painted the walls in a garlic and dogshite paste.
 
You just have tried to impress by posting this. Why else would you bother with such a contribution on a light hearted thread.

Not at all. It’s a thread that invites people to post their views, like every other thread on this forum.
 
Took a bite out of a cactus, trying to tice the missus (no), picking f***ing spikes out me tongue and gob all the next day.
 
At uni we had a code where if you said you were going to do something you had to follow through (pathetic, I know but typical 20 year old carry on). In Greenbank Park in Liverpool there is a manky lake and I said I'd jump in as a forfeit for some game we were playing. Of course it came to pass and I ran down the bank and into the lake, gashed my foot on the bottom. It was quite busy and I was getting a load of abuse from some of the older more sedate Park users. I was desperate to get out but every time I tried to pull myself up onto the bank there was this mental dog barking at me and going for my arm. Next thing I know the park wardens coming down as well giving me a bollocking and going on about hospitals and Weil's disease. At this point I just wanted to get out but the frigging dog was still barking it's head off at me. I eventually did a walk of shame back to my halls with loads of angry middle aged folk giving me a piece of their mind.

It wasn't worth it at all.
 
Took the bairn and his mates ice skating once, watched them have a few basic instructions and they seemed to be doing OK.

so I had a moment weakness where I convinced myself I could at least get by on it. (And maybe Id told them in the car that I used to be good - I'd done it a few times years ago)

Turns out I was more Mr Bean than Torville and Dean. Ended up on my arse more than once, and I still get reminded of it from time to time.
 
Took her to a rave for our first date after only meeting her once before. Triple dropped red defqon cowies and bombed some pink champagne a few hours after. Ended up rolling around on the floor outside Privilege for hours on end, she lost me, I lost my phone, house keys and wallet and any ounce of dignity I had.

Ended up marrying her.

Pink champagne 😎 them were the days.
Had a mountain of that in Ibiza in 97. Ended up going to Amnesia in what turned out to be the only night of the week it was entirely full of blokes. Chowed a few ears off that night mind :lol:
 
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At uni we had a code where if you said you were going to do something you had to follow through (pathetic, I know but typical 20 year old carry on). In Greenbank Park in Liverpool there is a manky lake and I said I'd jump in as a forfeit for some game we were playing. Of course it came to pass and I ran down the bank and into the lake, gashed my foot on the bottom. It was quite busy and I was getting a load of abuse from some of the older more sedate Park users. I was desperate to get out but every time I tried to pull myself up onto the bank there was this mental dog barking at me and going for my arm. Next thing I know the park wardens coming down as well giving me a bollocking and going on about hospitals and Weil's disease. At this point I just wanted to get out but the frigging dog was still barking it's head off at me. I eventually did a walk of shame back to my halls with loads of angry middle aged folk giving me a piece of their mind.

It wasn't worth it at all.

I'd love to know what year this was :lol:
 
As I approached two lasses from school doing ‘no hander’ on my bike my jeans caught in the chain. Unable to put my foot down to stop or get my hands out of my pockets quick enough to brake I just sailed past them and smashed in the wall behind the bench they were sat on.
 

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