What are your go to, never fail to raise a smile, jokes, banter?



I was walking through Liverpool with the missus and she said "Everywhere we go there are bits of chocolate bars lying on the pavement. Why do you think that is ?"
I replied "Those are Mars Bars and those are the bits that help you work".
 
tunstall birdman said:
Banter to others and jokes you have used over the years and they can still have life in their delivery?

I'll start with a few of mine.

'What's hairy, sits on a stool and plays the piano?' - Kate's bush


A girl I was chatting up told me she was a veggie. So I replied 'Well, lettuce into your knickers pet"


Next... (As in poster, not the shop. Give us your best/worst)
Click to expand...
Animal from the Muppets always makes me laugh

what do you call a duck doctor?

a ducktor

just always makes me laugh
 
tunstall birdman said:
Banter to others and jokes you have used over the years and they can still have life in their delivery?

I'll start with a few of mine.

'What's hairy, sits on a stool and plays the piano?' - Kate's bush


A girl I was chatting up told me she was a veggie. So I replied 'Well, lettuce into your knickers pet"


Next... (As in poster, not the shop. Give us your best/worst)
Click to expand...
Father Ted. The episode when he's accused of being racist. :lol:

Or I listen to my utter hero's The Beatles.
 
Boinger said:
Letting off a loud ripper and following it with my best Richie Benaud impression "Confident appeal by the Aussies"!
Click to expand...

That's brilliant
I've told my mate about this thread and he has offered the following:

I’ve a new job in a warehouse cleaning mirrors... it’s just something I can see myself doing

I’ve a new aftershave made of bread crumbs... the birds love it
 
Last edited:

Back
Top