virgin broadband help.....

Roger

The Gaffer
Staff member
It might be worth getting something like a fingbox to plug into your router, then you can control access by all devices (whatever he has now and in the future) and it will also work with any other router/isp you switch to without any changes - you can also get a warning if/when he unplugs it via an app on your phone.

They cost a bit, but keep your eye on the price as it varies a lot (typically £65-£100 but they keep having various offers).
 

Skandhaless

Striker
thank you mate ;)
Not a shrink and I don't work in children's but it seems probable that his main issue is emotional regulation. Sounds from the services around him he's not just like this with you.
If he's been badly treat off his mam his learned behaviour will be to blow the lid so she gives in and stops punishing. Thing is being as he is is not comfortable for him personally, sure he gets x box but in many ways that's probably a diversion, a bolt hole substitute for what he really needs which is emotional ease and holding boundaries which he knows are there for his interest not to punish.
Might need a pro one on one to help emotionally educate him, kids that have been emotionally disregulated for a long time often don't even recognise the level of negative emotion they are feeling much less put a name to it. Easier said than done when he's pushing you to the edge but just try to translate as much of your emotion for him as you can, and show you are managing them let him know emotions are not always pleasant but they are containable.. Try not to blame or accuse him when he doesn't do it rejects it.. It will seep in.
Sorry if that seems a bit "oh yes I see simply do that" , it must be hell (and believe you me my own weren't angels we had many a blow out) but obviously there is a complex reality someone would need to get down to over weeks professionally to get something going structurally. It feels very much like you should be in the therapy with him to help best, kind of a "we " thing.. Good luck mate.
 
For his phone set-up Family Link (free app from Google, you have the parent app but you'll need to install the child one on his phone), and you can control screen time through it amongst other things.
 

Skandhaless

Striker
thank you mate ;)
Another thing to consider might be the function of his behaviour both in being on the xbox and kicking off if he's not. To you and I being in the xbox means tossing it off having a laugh. If a child has used it as a distraction and a stress relief from events going on around them they may actually need to "do xbox" because that's the only place they feel their mind works normally and has structure . He may not know what to do or be like if he's not on it.
 

wilberforce

Winger
Not a shrink and I don't work in children's but it seems probable that his main issue is emotional regulation. Sounds from the services around him he's not just like this with you.
If he's been badly treat off his mam his learned behaviour will be to blow the lid so she gives in and stops punishing. Thing is being as he is is not comfortable for him personally, sure he gets x box but in many ways that's probably a diversion, a bolt hole substitute for what he really needs which is emotional ease and holding boundaries which he knows are there for his interest not to punish.
Might need a pro one on one to help emotionally educate him, kids that have been emotionally disregulated for a long time often don't even recognise the level of negative emotion they are feeling much less put a name to it. Easier said than done when he's pushing you to the edge but just try to translate as much of your emotion for him as you can, and show you are managing them let him know emotions are not always pleasant but they are containable.. Try not to blame or accuse him when he doesn't do it rejects it.. It will seep in.
Sorry if that seems a bit "oh yes I see simply do that" , it must be hell (and believe you me my own weren't angels we had many a blow out) but obviously there is a complex reality someone would need to get down to over weeks professionally to get something going structurally. It feels very much like you should be in the therapy with him to help best, kind of a "we " thing.. Good luck mate.
you are very close to the truth there mate ;) you sum a lot of him up perfectly
thanks you your advise, it is VERY much appreciated ;)

Another thing to consider might be the function of his behaviour both in being on the xbox and kicking off if he's not. To you and I being in the xbox means tossing it off having a laugh. If a child has used it as a distraction and a stress relief from events going on around them they may actually need to "do xbox" because that's the only place they feel their mind works normally and has structure . He may not know what to do or be like if he's not on it.
again spot on, he doesn't........
 

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