Variant Jokes



RedAndWhiteJeff said:
It's still shit
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So are most of these "variants" to be honest.

This place lives on shit jokes.

:D
jaxaxe said:
Mag Variant - Brown stains appear on their chest, they get an urge to shout at shops and punch horses, and start seeing visions of the gherst of Sir Bobby.
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And an irrational need to eat only stuff from Greggs.

Also lack of any Newcastle-related football knowledge prior to 1992.
 
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The Tetley varient. Only attacks people who use teabags.
The MAGA varient. Only attacks those who will not wear a mask.
The Trump varient. Only attacks mentally unstable, failed magalamaniacs. While still being a great varient. Probably the best in the world.
 
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The Scottish Variant.

You turn Tartan and screech out of the protein spikes that have turned into air tubes, everywhere you go like a strangled animal so everyone hears you coming.

There's a pervasive smell of whisky and deep fried Mars bar.

Another version makes you look like Wee Jimmy Krankie and bleat on about how the English have had a downer on the Scots since Culloden.
 
Waskerly Mackem said:
The Scotch Variant.

You turn Tartan and screech out of the protein spikes that have turned into air tubes, everywhere you go like a strangled animal so everyone hears you coming.

There's a pervasive smell of whisky and deep fried Mars bar.

Another version makes you look like Wee Jimmy Krankie and bleat on about how the English have had a downer on the Scotch since Culloden.
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Tidied.
 
dangermows said:
Tidied.
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:neutral:
Here are two victims of the Brazilian variant.

Part of the side effects means their feline areas will be nicely shaved before the infection takes a serious hold as demonstrated by this study video.

Logon or register to see this image

Old Timer said:
I was talking to a mate in the bar the other day and he told me he had had his first shot and was desperate for his second, I said that’s great what did you have AZ or Pfizer? No, he said, Black Sambuca.
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My Russian mate said he'd lost count of the shots he'd had.

It was so distressing seeing him crawl out the pub on all fours, seeing him determined to finish the remainder of a nearly full container of the orally-consumed Smirnoff vaccine.

I knew something was wrong when he boasted after all his shots that he could introduce Caroline Cossey to motherhood.
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Well I've got to do something to try to save this thread!!!
 
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